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This Poem was Submitted By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-02-10 22:27:46 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Then I'll Dance With Dragonflies

When caribou cross the mountains, when great bears disappear and salmon go to sea, I'll look for smaller lives and pause to listen by the wetland. Searching tall grass tundra and treetop, I'll poke within a willow, dip my thoughts beneath the snow. Going back to my old haunts I'll stalk the swallowtail, encounter voles, stop to study mosquitoes, set my seasons by the exodus of warblers, and follow the tracks of wild hare. Then I'll dance with dragonflies, if I dare.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-03-07 13:06:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.70833
you storyteller you! When caribou cross the mountains, when great bears disappear and salmon go to sea, I'll look for smaller lives right..like ant and flies and other small miracles.. and pause to listen by the wetland. Searching tall grass tundra and treetop, [love those l'ss i can hear swriing ] I'll poke within a willow, [can i come?} dip my thoughts beneath the snow. me too- [what a great thought] Going back to my old haunts I'll stalk the swallowtail,[ye yes] encounter voles, stop to study mosquitoes, set my seasons by the exodus of warblers, [marvelous language here anthoughout this piece] and follow the tracks of wild hare. Then I'll dance with dragonflies, if I dare. you will i know you will! again - just lovely Joanne Copyright © February 2004 Joanne M Uppendahl ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Click Here to SK

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2004-02-29 22:49:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.58333
Dear Aunty, Another beautiful rendition of a another poem about nature. I am glad that you cleared up where the tundra was and I know now that it isn't your particular home environment. This is a great poem of the seasons without mentioning specific ones at all. To me, dancing with dragonflies gives me the feeling of freedom and abandon that I long to fee and to be able to express vividly. If I dare! Sherri

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sandra J Kelley On Date: 2004-02-28 19:51:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.37500
Joanne, I really just don't know what to say. I read this poem several days ago and just did not feel up to critiquing it then because I feel this poem is hinting at something extraordinary. I love how you name some things like the swallowtail and wonder why you use great bears instead of being more specific-are they grizzlies, polar, brown... I love the respect this poem gives to the small lives. Who else would study mosquitoes. Then I'll dance with dragonflies if I dare-that line twists the poem into being also about you about your willingness to take chances to dream of flying. I enjoyed this poem very much but feel like I'm not doing it justice. Sandra

This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2004-02-28 03:52:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.63636
Hi Joanne, Of course I wouldn’t end this month without commenting this stunning entry. Again, this is pure beauty beyond words to describe. As always, your “natured-inspired” poetry are fresh, full of adventure, exploring and inviting. You are consistent in giving breathtaking poems that are unforgettable. I like the unique sidelights of “caribou”, “salmon”, “voles”, “warblers”, “voles”, “mosquitoes”, “swallowtail” - nice use. “poke within a willow”, “dip my thoughts beneath the snow”, “set my seasons”, “exodus of warblers” - these are great poetic effort, lyrically accelerating and visually delicious. Only you can use these with reader’s ear satisfaction. But most of all, the best phrase is “Then I'll dance with dragonflies, if I dare.” “I dare” marks the unconstraint style of how you deliver your poetry. It truly reflects you Joanne, your daring disposition in life, in the good side. This is like an innocent child exploring his/her surrounding with optimism and curiosity. You have delivered it very well. Every word is perfectly in placed. This is the best, loved it! As always, Erzahl :)

This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-02-21 15:53:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Beautifully done, Joanne! Internal rhyming, as well as end of the line, with a very effective use of line length variations. It has a nice rhythm to it. Keep up the good work!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rick Barnes On Date: 2004-02-16 16:36:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
JoAnne, DAMN! This one sings, doesn't it?! It spreads out from a curled position and lay across the poetic scape like nothing I have ever read here before. You are so at one with all of this. Your rhythms actualize themselves, born of the texture of the verse. More and more your work has the quality of an appearance rather than something brought consciously forth. And while I know that praise must only pass through the poet if the poet is to ever dare dance with the dragonfly, I hope that you will let my praise at least sweeten your tea as we both reflect upon the beauty held here within. When caribou cross the mountains, when great bears disappear and salmon go to sea, I'll look for smaller lives and pause to listen by the wetland. I don't want to pedantically dissect this amazing unfolding but I simply HAVE to say something here that holds true throughout this piece. I don't know if anyone here realizes or understands your mastery of vowel sounds, but someone, (I guess me), simply has to bring it up. In the first two lines alone we have OU as OO and OW. We are then treated to EA as AA,EH,AI,and EE. As I said, I don't want to talk about the Mona Lisa's wry smile, but these things sometimes hit me as hard as the internal and eternal beauty of the whole. Enough! This first verse is so damned powerful. If you will indulge me...When UPPERCASE NATURE takes it's leave the poet knows that "nature" has in no way departed. The Caribou, the Great Bear, and the Salmon, like Youth, Strength and Fertility are elements of a season of grace, but they are not grace in and of themselves. We once passed through this season, you and I, but we were more than the season. Searching the tall grass tundra and treetop, I'll poke within a willow, dip my thoughts beneath the snow. My God you write so beautifully...Searching the macrocosm and the wonders within, it is "within" where all searchers return. There is a soul in there somewhere Goddamn It and it is NOT enough to simply know of it's existence. It is NOT enough to celebrate it as a gift, we have to keep Going back to my old haunts I'll stalk the swallowtail, encounter voles, stop to study mosquitoes, set my seasons by the exodus of warblers, and follow the tracks of wild hare. We have to find ourselves everywhere, or we are lost and only here. And once we have learned that ballet, "The Seasons Of Grace", Then I'll dance with dragonflies, if I dare. ...and you will dare, Dear Joanne...you will dare. Awed, Rick

This Poem was Critiqued By: Carolyn Minsker On Date: 2004-02-13 16:56:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dear Joanne, Dragonflies are very special to me. My stepson took me to a place where you dive off the cliffs into the Susquehanna. I had swam there often when I was a teenager at boarding school, but didn't know how to get back. Jumping off the cliffs 30 feet in the air is a breath-taking experience. I was stuck, too afraid to jump, not able to climb down either. A dragonfly came, flitting, looked me in the eye, communicating the freedom in flight. I let go. Your poems please me in that same way that dragonflies in flight fill me with hope. Always a pleasure. love, Carolyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-02-13 13:34:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.52381
Seasons come and seasons go yet within the fine structure of this piece you have taken the animals associated with seasons and created a masterpiece of it all.......caribou crossing over the mountains....majestic sight to behold and the bears how they know when its time to rest for a long winters nap......hybernating within the places they have already seeked out......salmon go o see and thus doing so they seem to know another season will soon be upon those that make this journey through their own life...... I'll poke within a willow, dip my thoughts beneath the snow. Going back to my old haunts to me this is wonderfully stated.....first of all I love willow trees and the simplicity of life they represent back to days of old with large mansions and ladies sipping tea beneath the weeping branches......lovely picture you have painted for me......an to dip my thoughts beneath the snow only brings the knowledge that spring is certainly on its way.....the flowers are already reaching forth in search of the warmth they feel beneath the snow as day by day it melts away...... Going back to my old haunts brings me back to my childhood and places I so loved to spend private time at.......like those fishing holes where the horn pout just dove into the bucket...hehehe....and the blueberry patches ......finding enough so mom could bake a pie when I cleaned them up.....or those rocks that looked so big to climb but today are nothing more then a wall of stone......old haunts, indeed, grand memories.....following the wild hare is okay too and to finally find their in ground nest is neat too......watching mom with her babies and the turkeys walking the road, one by one they go count them fourteen in all not counting mom and dad......wonderful sight.....hear the sounds? Certainly you should as the Canadian geese fly over head announcing yet another season upon us.......over and over you have done this throughout this read and in closing to dance with the dragonflies.......well I am not sure about dragon flies here in Tully......perhaps one or two if you are lucky but the fireflies on a warm night now that is something to behold as they light up the field across from the house..............to dance perhaps with them in the open field would bring joy to one's heart as well.............. Thanks for posting and sharing this with us....a winner for certain...be safe and God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-02-13 11:07:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Joanne--I heard this interesting titled piece on my list and stopped in to listen-smile. I liked it from the start; it has a "list poem" feel: you've cited excellent nature standards that we all can or should appreciate (deers seeking food, bears hibernating & fish going to desposit spawn; respectively). This plain language approach belies the import of your contrast/twist: you are not going to stop enjoying nature treks just because the "BIG Deals" are temporarily gone (seasonal): "...I'll look for smaller lives..." Wow! You, then "LIST" these other "simple, but" beautiful activities that you plan on doing in the interim (powerful!). Then there's another of my favorite Line(s); "...I'll poke within a willow, dip my thoughts beneath the snow." (great verbiage!!). In the mist of all of this you still manage to "toss" in a few rhymes (willow/snow; voles/mosquitoes; hare/dare). The repeat of the title in the last line, caps a superb ending. Your use of vivid descriptors/figurative language/rhymes combine to produce a euphonious tone and great imagery. I certainly did not mean to misstate your intentions. Thanks for sharing. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2004-02-12 18:54:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
What a great poem to unwind with after a long day at work. Joanne, I've said this before and I'll say this again, your writing is flawless. Your imagination is amazing and I think you are very lucky to be gifted with this awesome style and flair. I particulary like "dip my thoughts beneath the snow", because the phrase is so serene and unique. Thanks for taking me away for a few minutes - to dance with drangflies. I'm so glad you posted this. My best, DeniMari

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2004-02-12 18:11:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
This is cute Joanne, rather peaceful in its proclamination. I like the concept of dancing with dragonflies. Each season comes and goes, as the wind blows so do we, either in communion with the environment, or absolutely alone. Love the picture you drew here with your dialogue. Don't even consider this a critique, just a comment on the peacefulness this poem afforded me, especially now, when everything seems out of wack, I guess It brings back those simple thoughts when we communicated with nature, not like now where everything becomes a topic of discussion, the pros and cons dependently who whoes presenting the argument. Why can't we be at peace? why such dissestion about everything, your poem really brings into focus the surety of nature, that you take mankind off the earth all these creatures, flora and fona will still florish. The simply facts of life's cycle, why do we fight the goodness that is there for us to relish, why do we create such ugliness? It's bigger then me, but a poem like this soothes the savage breast, if you allow it to. Again you write with the energy I don't have any longer, but I'm glad there are poet's such as you to do what so many of us like, relish our surroundings, and appreciate the beauty that is there. Once again you have done it.....excellent....Love, Jo

This Poem was Critiqued By: Kenneth R. Patton On Date: 2004-02-11 16:21:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Joanne you make me want to go with you! Another wonderful journey with nature. I'm afraid I'm too clumsy to dance with dragonflies though! I'll just watch you!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2004-02-11 13:53:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
Jo- You will dare, I trust. The exodus of warblers...do they go to San Luis Obispo? Or Mexico? Keep 'em comin' girl. tom

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-02-11 09:47:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Auntie Joanne, Oh, this is a wonderful adventure in a moutain that ends up longing to dance with dragonflies. Your title once again manifest that you now incline on dreamy poetry, stuff like tales or legends. Here, you are carefree enough to journey on mountains observing these animals like caribou, great bears, etc. Aren't you feeling risky to stroll in this kind of place? Ah, nature lover as you are! "When caribou cross the mountains, when great bears disappear and salmon go to sea, I'll look for smaller lives and pause to listen by the wetland." It is an exciting experience to observe these animals on their actual shows. The more it is fun to search and observe smaller lives, hearkening the sound they make! Nice allit of caribou/cross. Also with tundra and treetrop and more of it here... that gives a sound effect as if listening to the real situation when you are in that place. "I'll poke within a willow, dip my thoughts beneath the snow." --- what a nice feel you give me here. nice rhyme with willow/snow Encountering voles and studying mosquitoes is a common work of a biologist. You are a biologist of your own. "set my seasons by the exodus of warblers," --- I like the orignality of the phrase. All these exciting observations and experiences you have in your journey in the mountain make you pine to dance with dragonflies. This is like an experience of a fairy! Hehe. Thanks for sharing with us your wonderful artistry, Auntie Joanne. More of this, please! Take care always especially when you are drawn with your being a nature lover, venturing to places like mountains. Jordan

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