This Poem was Submitted By: Rick Barnes On Date: 2004-02-11 13:35:53 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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One Just Bell

I don’t what to hear the chimes Congratulating those who’ve tithed, Nor the welcoming peal We reserve for those who’ve just arrived. Spare me the holy tower of song Reserved for those so blessed, And the clarion gong That washes clean all saved souls confessed. Let me hear a dull dank knell Until we have truly begun To work toward and forge that one just bell   That rings for everyone. 

Copyright © February 2004 Rick Barnes


This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-03-07 13:26:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.70833
One Just Bell Lovely piece Rick - good to see your work again lovely ecumenical poem the construction of which put me in mind of John Donne I don’t what to hear the chimes Congratulating those who’ve tithed, nice near rhyme of chimes/tithed Nor the welcoming peal We reserve for those who’ve just arrived. Spare me the holy tower of song served for those so blessed, And the clarion gong That washes clean all saved souls confessed. ah yes Let me hear a dull dank knell [a phrase worthy of Poe] Until we have truly begun To work toward and forge that [-one just] bell   That rings for everyone.  from your pen to G-d ears! love it


This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-03-07 02:19:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.86486
Hi Rick, I am wondering why this poem appeared again in my critiquing list when in fact I have critiqued this and you have replied me already with this one!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2004-02-28 03:55:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.63636
Hi Rick, Oh, the depth of this piece is almost unconceivable. You have circled the topic within the family of sounds. From “chimes”, “peal”, “song”, “clarion”, “gong”, “knell”, “bell” to “rings” - this is clever! Technically, I found this in A-B-A-B rhyming format. Great effort! This is different from your previous works yet the same in profundity and depth. This is not your usual romantic and inspiring work that you used to do instead for a “love month”, this is a bit philosophical and theoretical. I like how you mellow those joyous sounds into the simplicity and innocence of “bell”. “one just bell that rings for everyone.” - wow, this made me humbled, it made the earlier ones sound righteous. I don’t know what’s in your mind during that writing, I just know that I am entertained and moved my your words here. Another great display of your talent! As always, Erzahl :)
This Poem was Critiqued By: Sandra J Kelley On Date: 2004-02-27 20:43:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.11111
Rick, wow I like this the power in your last statement has built up throught out the poem in all of the bells you do not want to hear. I really like this and hope to see it on the winners list. Sandra
This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-02-27 20:42:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.35294
Very neat poem, nice rhythm, rhymes [slant and true], alliteration. Excellent ending. a couple possible alterations: That washes clean all saved souls confessed. - [Is saved needed? Washes clean & confessed suffices??] Let me hear a dull dank knell - [Excellent "double whammy" here, 2 d's, 2 ll's. I hear it.] To work toward and forge that one just bell - [I hesitated here to see if a word could be deleted. Not.] That rings for everyone. - [It' fine, perfect as is.] Great read. Thanks for sharing this nice work.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2004-02-17 17:02:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Ricko: Your poem is # 23 out of 27 but it's well worth one point to read. Your theme here fits nicely with my "Neuter Allegiance"...don't critique but take a look. I saw your title and thought "Just One Bell" then it clarified as I read. A poem containing: chimes, peal, song, clarion, gong, knell, bell, and rings...I know I will like it in advance. You use your usual stanzaic unmetered form with end rhymes. Again, deceptive on the surface, it holds one of the more important truths of a lifetime and a point about inequality that needles me daily. "I don't want to hear the chimes Congratulating those who've tithed, ....irony at its best... Nor the welcoming peal We reserve for those just arrived. .....this makes me think of the minister smacking his lips.... Spare me the holy tower of song Reserved for those so blessed, ....I like the repetition of reserve... And the clarion gong ....clarion is one of my favorite words.... That washes clean all saved souls confessed. Let me hear a dull dank knell ...my favorite phrase: dull dank knell.... Until we have truly begun To work toward and forge that one just bell That rings for everyone." Simply magnificent. Your end line is everything in which I believe but I'm losing hope of your just bell's being forged or any other wrongs righted. I have become filled with dispair about our leaders and the state of the nation. It's really a bummer for me having been a political activist most of my life. IMO and that's all I have, this is the most significant poem you've written. Not the most clever or romantic or musical...but the most important. Oh, that it could be published so every American would see. You have sparked an inner harmony with my heart and mind...it's always grand finding someone whose vision matches my own. This has really stuck a chord with me, my friend, and my top pick of the month albeit I know you don't care. This cuts deeply with me, Ricko; many thanks. Standing ovation. Melliferous
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-02-17 00:25:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.40000
Rick–Long time between postings, but this “One Just Bell” is worth the wait. You and Mell selected two of the five most controversial topics (in my opinion) of the modern era. The speaker infers through plain/figurative language (metaphors); allit (saved souls) and rhymes tithed/ arrived; song/gong; blessed/confessed) that this symbol is currently/selectively used to ingratiate patrons while other members of society are being treated woefully (and of this he wants no part). He then states what he will be party to, through superb twist/turn of allit and rhymes dull dank; knell/bell; toward/forge). The totality of this verbiage creates vivid imagery of mis- placement of priorities in the face of social injustices and moral wrongdoings. A repeat of the title in line #11 serves to reemphasize and finalize how adamant the speaker is in his request for “...that one just bell that rings for everyone.” You’ve displayed true grit in composing and sharing such a ‘concise’ unbridled effort; this is an extraordinary relevant piece (in my humble opinion) which deserves the widest distribution. Thanks for the great read. P. S. You and Mell (Neuter Allegiance) made my MONTH with your offerings-many thanks and smiles. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2004-02-15 22:45:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Hi Rick, nice clarity, and wonderfully smooth cadence, and the message. One many pray for, yet we are segmented, and can't, or don't able to combine the whole. It's wonderful that some fee comfortable in their nitch of acceptance, but as the symbolic resonance of the bell proclaims, when is, if ever, that single peal going to ring that see and acknowledges all aspects of what should be. I can't suggest anything, I'm taken with the projection, and values this poem strives for, as such I'm always willing to accept something as well written as this, as the gospel, if you will. Tghe total goodness that speaks of all the masses. It's lovely, and a fine testimony to the value system that should prevail. The bell should toll for all, not just select groups, or segmented parts, instead of the whole. Well written, enjoyable to see others valvues mirror where I come from....lovely submission, Best always, Jo Morgan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-02-13 11:22:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.28571
A well done surprise awaits the reader at the end of this poem. It's a common theme this month- churchs and traditional spirituality giving way to either ruin or epiphany. In your case it's clearly the latter. Must be something in the air smelling springtime renewal. I love this poem just for it's sentiment. The method is a traditional rhyming scheme that is really well suited to the subject and sentiment expressed. I say "here here!" on the sentiment as well. Great job. REEG!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-02-12 13:52:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Rick: I always look forward to finding a poem of yours. This one contains poetic truth enough to end conflicts between nations, families and individuals on the topic of religion, were it to be heeded. Instead of "Just One Bell" you have written the title as "One Just Bell" which says infinitely more with an economy of words - a trademark Rick Barnes attribute. I don’t (want) to hear the chimes Congratulating those who’ve tithed, Nor the welcoming peal We reserve for those who’ve just arrived. The structural correctness and proselytizing for converts that are so often seen in organized religion are not what the speaker yearns to hear. The inclusive "we" allows the reader to supply the faith or practice, whether it be Tibetan Buddhism, Presbyterian, Catholic, etcetera. Spare me the holy tower of song Reserved for those so blessed, And the clarion gong That washes clean all saved souls confessed. I can't help but draw an analogy from the "holy tower of song" to the Tower of Babel of note in scripture, which marked the confusion of languages. "Holy tower" also suggests "Holy terror" - an allusion which calls to mind pictures of persecution of those considered to be on the 'wrong' side of the religious tracks, so to speak. The phrase "all saved souls confessed" implies that the familiar rituals (ringing of bells, confession) are not what cleanses. Let me hear a dull dank knell Until we have truly begun To work toward and forge that one just bell That rings for everyone. These "dull dank knell" sounds are mournfully heavy. The bells that ring for some, but not all, do not ring truthfully, this poem tells me. The implication is that we have not "truly begun" to live in grace, have not worked toward nor forged "that just one bell" that rings for every human being. That every human soul is sacred is what is implied here, at least for this reader. Until that fact is recognized, there will be no true cause for celebration. For humanity to work together to "forge that one just bell" would imply social justice as well as reverence for each life. Would that such inspiration as garnered from this poem could lead to 'Homo ahimsa' --compassionate mankind. I don't believe I have done justice to your poem, and it saddens me to realize how far we are at present from this state of grace. As always, reading your poetry opens new areas of awareness for me. Bravo! My best always, Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-02-11 15:28:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92308
What a lovely thought Rick......one bell that rings for everyone in the same tone I would hope and can certainly imagine and hear from the way your pen has flaired about jotting all this down for the world to see.....and those other bells that have such a special ring about them as well.......a dull dank knell indeed let us work hard toward just one bell............and what a lovely sound it will make as well.............. when I stop to listen within my memories I hear the church bells that ring at funerals and how sad they do sound compared to those church bells that ring at weddings that dance about in the bell loft.....and those that chime out at sea warning some sailors of dangers within the waters surrounding their boats at present time.......one long lonely pull of the cord is all it takes to make the night eerie and cold. Good structure as always and your choice of words bring forth images, thoughts and sounds as well.....thanks for posting and sharing. Personally I enjoy the sound of a cow bell as the cow walks across the pasture or picks up speed when it begins to run just a bit.....or a teacher holding the school bell which calls the children back in from recess.....so many different bells and the most delicate of all perhaps is the little bell within the crystal bell........what an angelic sound that one makes....... Gee Rick you certainly have gotten this old gal going.....take care, be safe and God Bless and soon, very soon one bell for all...............Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2004-02-11 13:50:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
Rick- How timely. Thank you. Well said. Could I use this? Is it heavy? Is it sharp enough to penetrate thick hide? I may try. Tom
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