This Poem was Submitted By: Marcia McCaslin On Date: 2004-03-12 01:40:42 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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APPROACHING FULL CIRCLE (a self portrait)

My childhood has caught up with me. I gave it a firm brush-off, for I had important, compelling things to do, and it would slow me down. For a long while, it waited in the distance, a child in shadows, admiring me, wanting to be my friend-- and my equal. When my first grandchild arrived, I heard myself talking baby talk but not only to her: to friends,  my husband, my coworkers. All the years in between: the pregnancies, snarled relationships, pets, children, horseback riding, skiing, Dancers' Workshop, the little certificates of achievement have gone--poof! Only the child remains, holding my hand, listening to my stories, being my friend-- and my equal.
Copyright © March 2004 Marcia McCaslin

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2004-04-01 17:29:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.36364
Marcia- Thanks for submitting this effort to put a verbal face on yourself, your life as seen through your own eyes. As I've said to Ken and others, this is difficult. There's something about it that makes me uncomfortable, which is important, and it's getting in the way of me posting something in this genre. I'll keep working on it. I like the way you've circled up the wagons here, back into the child you thought you'd left behind. tom

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-03-31 18:01:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.84615
I can never write something wonderful to on a challenge and I admire those people, like you - who can APPROACHING FULL CIRCLE (a self portrait) [great title!} My childhood has caught up with me. what a fresh thought! I gave it a firm brush-off, for I had important, compelling things to do, and it would slow me down. yep - we do that so often - poor us For a long while, it waited in the distance, a child in shadows, admiring me, wanting to be my friend-- yes..i can see the little head peering sideways from behind the drapes and my equal. Especially that, yes ! What an intersting psychological study this poem is. When my first grandchild arrived, I heard myself talking baby talk but not only to her: to friends, my husband, my coworkers. How marvelous> I wish someone woudl talk baby talk to me All the years [of:] pregnancies, snarled relationships, pets, children, horseback riding, skiing, Dancers' Workshop, the little certificates of achievement lots of different kinds of diverse items makes a great list have gone--poof! but not really gone - as we find out later in the poem- not gone at all Only the child remains, holding my hand, listening to my stories, being my friend-- and my equal. How wonderfult to make peace with and fully accept ones' innner child. Sometiems I think mine needs to be spanked. Wonderful poem Marcia
This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2004-03-27 19:44:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.56000
Dear Marcia, I have never been happier since I found my inner child and acknowledged her, let her have the childhood that had been denied her. She has helped me to love more freely, give of myself more openly and to let myself live in the moment. Stop worrying about what might happen and just be happy for what I have right now. She has also taught me how to play, with my little hobbies, my writing, my grandchildren, and to laugh freely even if it is at myself. She is there, even if someone that I love has forsaken me. Thanks Marcia for sharing this lovely self portrait. It is so nice to have you back, I have missed you! Sherri
This Poem was Critiqued By: Leo Wilder On Date: 2004-03-22 15:12:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Marcia, It is the child in us that makes us real, otherwise we would become nothing more than sophisticated manure. I am not very good at critiquing, but will only comment on what I like, and the thoughts portrayed in this piece, I like. I still talk in gibberish, but then I am the only one who really needs to understand what I am really saying. I enjoyed this very much. Leo
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-03-19 11:28:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.72727
Hi Marcia, This is great! The play on words you use with your title "APPROACHING FULL CIRCLE" and the first line of the poem "My childhood has caught up with me." collide in a moment of truth that I can identify with myself. :) There are actually layers of meaning here and it is fun to read this more then once to try and catch what all you are imparting. The fact is, we have to remain true to ourselves, because in the end all our vitories and failures come down to that one thing. Everything thing else leaves and your stuck with yourself. Which can be a good thing or a bad thing. lol jk. But seriously, you make a good point. This is a very intruging introspective piece, and I think others will identify with what's been said. Thanks for sharing this side of yourself. Can't wait to see if you do another self-portrait. Maybe a rhymed one or funny one, who knows? I am already thinking about it myself. Blessings, JEnnifer
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-03-12 13:26:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marcia: Like Ken's, your new poem for the 'challenge' disappeared to the bottom of my list. I am so glad I checked the new poems, or might have missed it - at times if there are many poems, my '1's' disappear from the list entirely. It is a double - nay, quadruple treat. First, as a new poem from you, whose poetry I've thoroughly enjoyed in the past! Secondly, as an entry in the challenge to do a poetic self-portrait. It inspires me and spurs me on. Thirdly, as a poem - for the sheer beauty and enjoyment of this art form, which gives more than entertainment, as much as I enjoy the sound of language for its own sake. Fourth: poetry's memorable when it sustains us as readers, rather than merely diverting our attention from whatever may be front and center in our day-to-day lives. This is a message in a bottle, in a sense, because in our search for meaning, for definition, for purpose, we are alike - stumbling a bit in the dark, towards the latter part of life, going by the lights we have and reaching out to touch others and be touched by them. You do all of this with your trademark honesty and gentleness. The title is apt - for it gets us right down to business. It welcomes us into the moment in which the speaker is reflecting upon her present focus upon essentials - the friendship with the self (child) with which one began life. Everything else seems added on, the speaker implies. My childhood has caught up with me. The nature of the circle in everyday language - coming back to the beginning. No need for quantum physics or Elizabethan phrasing - this essential pared-down language is real - the way we actually speak. I gave it a firm brush-off, for I had important, compelling things to do, and it would slow me down. Funny how much speed we seem to gather as we forcefully push away from "childhood" things and awareness. These lines remind me of my former perception (many years ago) of older people (in which category I now dwell) as perhaps those who might "slow me down" in my search for . . .? For a long while, it waited in the distance, a child in shadows, admiring me, wanting to be my friend-- and my equal. You've captured our capacity for duality here - how one part of the self observes, and another acts. In this instance, it seems the "child in shadows" approves of the momentum and accomplishments of her 'older sister' - the adult Marcia. When my first grandchild arrived, I heard myself talking baby talk but not only to her: to friends, my husband, my coworkers. This is what I mean in my opening paragraph by the "message in a bottle" because as I've repeated more often than is bearable for listeners, the birth of a grandchild was one of life's grandest, most deeply soul-satisfying events. This small being, the child of our child, who reminds us of the child within. We can't afford and don't have time to have this awareness in the early child-bearing years. We are far too busy with diapers, bills, spouses, inside or outside jobs, and all of the rest of it. The poem in this section especially strikes home to me, as this little one looks remarkably like her 'wrinkly' progenitor - me, as a child! All the years in between: the pregnancies, snarled relationships, pets, children, horseback riding, skiing, Dancers' Workshop, the little certificates of achievement have gone--poof! Yes - yes. Whether it is illness that forces us to simplify and accept what is now before us, or merely the recognition that we are running out of string (length of days) you have 'nailed it' precisely here. All of the things that were important before, you show us artfully, "have gone--poof!" Only the child remains, holding my hand, listening to my stories, being my friend-- and my equal. You don't tell us how you learned to be a friend to "the child" but leave it to each one reading to discover. It is a very deeply personal poem, but universal in application. It is humble and tender. It is Marcia McCaslin in full voice, at her finest. Thank you for giving us the gift of your self portrait. It is one which inspires me to be a better friend to my own "child" who awaits. Brava!! Roses tossed. . . All my best, Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-03-12 12:53:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.23077
Hi Marcia, What a wonderful self portrait...when Tom put this challange on the forum I thought this will be so hard...but you have done a perfect job. In the 1st & 2nd stanzas you outline is just a few words the thing that all young people do...I can't wait to be 16, or drive a car or get out of school etc...."compelling things to do and it would slow me down"...good thought..."it waited in the distance...wanting to be my friend"...but we are all too busy to notice the child in us and we just brush it off like lint off a jacket. and the years zoom by as we busy ourselves with marriage, children, jobs, homes, money, grandchildren. Until we find ourselves speaking baby talk to everyone when we only mean to do it to our grandchildren....but in the end who is our best friend...our equal and the most wonderful part of our psych? The child within...it takes most of our lives to recognize that. Thanks for posting and thanks for writing again! God Bless....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-03-12 12:08:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.16667
Poet this is wonderfully written, great word flow, images galore and memories of one's life that just keep flowing and flowing until indeed that full circle effect has arrived....a granddaughter, how lovely......I have 14 grandchildren in all ranging from one and a half to almost l8 years and I'm not that old...hehehe...at least I don't feel that old....though lately with health issues I feel over a hundred at times.....wow, that's horrible....get out the canes..... This was a pleasure to read. I find that you have stopped where need be and started up again allowing the reader to travel at a nice pace......actually, you allow us to mix our life with yours at the same time thus our journey of full circle seems to have begun as well. I do not find myself talking baby talk but my husband does .........that makes me chuckle at times for he is not a man who enjoys emotions...hehehe..... Thanks for posting and sharing this with us....nice to find something of yours on the link today....be safe and God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-03-12 10:36:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.67857
Wnderfully reminiscent! I enjoyed this excellently written piece. It has the correct hesitations, the melody of its content, where it takes us, through life - yours, and tangentially, ours. There are a couple little thoughts: "co-workers" with a hyphen?? - [guess I'm a punctuation freak] 'cause here's another one: instead of a colon after "but not only to her:", how about a hyphen, or just a comma?? -and- I think an even longer hesitation between "gone--poof!" would accent that disappearance even more. Th-th-that's all, folks! :) It really was a great read. We all seem to find childhood(s) repeatedly, don't we? Thanks for posting and sharing. wl
This Poem was Critiqued By: Sandra J Kelley On Date: 2004-03-12 08:21:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.11111
Marcia, I really enjoyed your poem. One comment I have is that you might want to concider putting it all in present tense instead of switching to past tense. My childhood has caught up with me. (I like this) I gave it a firm brush-off, for I had important, compelling (how true we get so busy we forget to do things that are just for fun) things to do, and it would slow me down. For a long while, it waited in the distance, a child in shadows, admiring me, (I like a child in shadows it adds to your image of neglect) wanting to be my friend-- (good stanza break it adds some emphasis to the next line) and my equal.(we so often forget that we work to live not live to work and this child reminds you that all of those urgent things you do may not be all that important) When my first grandchild arrived, I heard myself talking baby talk but not only to her: to friends, my husband, my coworkers. (lol-I like that) All the years in between: the pregnancies, snarled relationships, pets, children, horseback riding, skiing, Dancers' Workshop, the little certificates of achievement (little certificates... that is a fabulous line it is so dismissing) have gone--poof! Only the child remains, holding my hand, listening to my stories, being my friend-- and my equal. and the end is strong it shows what you have learned and goes full circle. Overall you have done a great job with this poem. Sandra
This Poem was Critiqued By: Kenneth R. Patton On Date: 2004-03-12 08:05:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I cannot critique this poem, only praise it. I'll leave that to the knowledgeable folks! I've only recently learned how much mothers put themselves aside for their children. It's something I can't truly grasp. It's an unselfishness I could never attain. I'm so glad your child waited for you. I hope you have a lot of joy together. Thanks for making my morning! KenP
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2004-03-12 07:08:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.66667
Oh Marcia, I'm in seventh heaven, finally to hear from you, to see how these many moths your muse has finally recognized itself as equal, for you finally to once against post. I've missed you. Yes Poof Marcia, in the end I think all of us who have struggled, fought continual fights throuhout our lives, finally realize that all those Earthly achievements, mean only as much as the papaer they are printed on. One never looks foracclodes, so we supplanted being sucessful for that fleeting space of time, when the reality is, the first rule, if you cannot like yourself yours struggles with multiply, but if we finally we are our own best friends, then everything falls into place, a measure of peacefulness, the tranquil attitude that seemed inborn all these years finally comes to the fruitation of understand, we are our own best friend, and if we are then it is easy to embrace with compassion those that are lost, or huring, still fighting their figth. Don't know if I interpertated your intention correctly, but this is what I personally felt as deepsensation, the reality of the truth......I'm sure glad, and relieved to read this submission, I know health wise your mettle has sorely be tested, and you came though, maybe like me a physical vestage of what I was, but strongly emotional, and easily I feel the pain of others. All these months I missed your posting, Thank God, for I think you may have turned the corner of life...My Love and God Bless, Jo Mo
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