Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

This Poem was Submitted By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2004-03-22 04:26:15 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!

japanese verse 42 (Pollination)

Handsome Romeo Courts prettiest Juliet Romance fills the air

Additional Notes:
Romeos – can be the lovely moths, butterflies, dragonflies, bees even the small birds Juliets – oh, these beauties…they are so many… For Claire…for her generosity.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Marcia McCaslin On Date: 2004-04-07 14:42:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.69643
Hi Erzahl, you-romantic-soul-you! How romantic this is, how touching, how splendid its lovesong-- and to be dedicated to Claire--oh yes, you have done yourself proud! When you tell me that it can relate to all the delicate,lovely flying insects--oh the noble creatures you have mentioned, it puts a grand light on this 3-line poem. I think I mentioned before that I really like the way you give your japanese poetry a name, so we can go down the list and identify immediately. You are very good at this, and it gives me such a lift to be a participant in your craft. Thanks for all the little 'lifts' you have given me today. Marcia

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-04-06 11:08:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.77083
Nice lilting poem which is a beautiful tribute to a fine lady. The word "prittiest" is amazing here as it forces us to consider that this poem is about more than the Bard's lovers but we must look to nature to find an explanation. Excellent work

This Poem was Critiqued By: Andrea M. Taylor On Date: 2004-03-29 21:22:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Erzahl, The dedication is as sentimental as the haiku. I love the metaphor. Great visuals by giving a Shakespeare touch to the silent workings that keep color and beauty in our worlds. "Handsome Romeo" and "prettiest Juliet" have pollinated my soul to romance the small beauty in my surroundings as well. How wonderfully you let the reader enjoy both the nature of man and man in nature. Claire has touched all of us in our own special ways. Thank you for this kindness to my Tully friend. Andrea

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2004-03-26 18:48:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.59091
Dear Erzahl, Flowers and pollination, what a different way to write japanese verse. A haiku of nature, but with our own ability to read what we want to in it. You are the master of haiku and I admire you for your ability to write such simple lines with so much meaning in them. This form of poetry has caught my fancy and I want to thank you Erzahl for introducing me to it. Another beauty! Love, Sherri

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-03-22 17:03:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.41667
This is very lovely and thank you but my generosity is not that great........mom is in God's Waiting Room tonight and we wait......the nurse does not feel she will make the night..... Your Hailu speaks to me of my dad who would be the handsome Romeo and he has been gone for forty one years. They say loved ones come to you in death so therefore he is now courting my mom once more and romance will soon fill the air here in Tully as he takes hold of her hand, lifts her out of her pain and takes her home again. Oh this poem/Haiku is wonderful, thank you for posting it and making my heart light with joy in my God who is always by my side. Be safe my friend.......God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-03-22 11:46:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.47826
Erzahl--This may be the best one just! Great as a duality piece (Nature themed-haiku/Human nature- Senryu): can be taken literal in plain language (human nature-boy meets girl) or nonliteral verbiage (nature-everything in your additional notes-as you intended-smile). What vivid imagery created by your descriptors either way. A picturesque spring scene. You're the master!! Thanks for posting. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-03-22 10:38:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Dear Ezrahl, This is lovely, especially this time of year and so sweet of you to dedicate it to Claire, who is truly a generous soul. These Romeo's are so dutiful in their cause, showing us they are not just in love with the Juliet's, but more so in love with the plan of spreading the love to everyone so as to further get the mesage of love out to everyone. And these Juliets are ever transforming into beautiful creatures for the pure pleasure of shining the Glory of that plan for everyone to see. And because of both of them, the love is in the air we breath and the sweet aroma fills us. And what a delicious aroma it is! Thanks for sharing the love Romeo! Blessings, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-03-22 10:00:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Hi Erzahl, This is simply nice and lovely. The characterization of Romeo and Juliet is great. They speak of love that most of us know. The use of two adjectives "handsome" and "prettiest" is simply the finest. But I am thinking of putting 's' in "Juliest" or simply use "pretty" because there is only one Juliet Romeo loves. Just a thought. For Claire's generosity? No doubt! THanks for sharing this. Jordan

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2004-03-22 08:23:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Adorable Erzahl, love the alligory, quite fitting I would say for Pollination, certainly adifferent twist on the subject. One fact this poem (haiku) commits to is the coming of everything beautiful, once the growing season, both in flora and fauna, and the muliple meetings it takes to create the beauty all of us can enjoy. We are in Spring, and the temperature is quite nice with the sun shining, more often then it does during those dismal days of winter, right now however the wind chill facor is depriving us of those warmer Spring time breezes, however one hasn't given up hope, new highs are established for all of us, each like these small creatures reach for the sunbeams. Wopnderful dedication to care, kind and caring come with the love of God, and Claire is a very caring woman, who in essence is the life blood of her family, and all that care for her. Of course you understand I can't speak for whats happening in Tully, I down more South in Massachusetts them she is, but no matter we are sisters under the skin with shared placement in the solar system, who knows one of these days we may meet, and I'd like that....great haiku, very enjoyable, Best regards always, Jo Morgan

This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-03-22 08:12:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.58462
Erzahl, such beauty in a short breath. The syllable count is fine. My only question, being from the "old school", is that I didn't think it popular or appropriate to use metaphors in haiku/senryu. If I am mistaken, forgive me, but don't shoot me. :>) That would be my only complaint, if I am correct, for this is truly an outstanding attempt at conveying beauty befitting the season. Thanks for submitting [and I am certain Claire approves, though I cannot speak for her]. Best wishes. wl

Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!