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This Poem was Submitted By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2004-03-29 05:14:17 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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japanese verse 43 (Destiny)

We are what we are Prodigy of our shadows Path of our footprints

Additional Notes:
- A cut from my poem “No Excuses”

This Poem was Critiqued By: Karen Ann Jacobs On Date: 2004-07-06 10:47:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Morning Erzahl, I'll warn you now; I am allowing myself to read one of these a morning. I love these so much, but I want to have the thoughts they inspire for a while. When I read your additional notes I went back to your list and looked for the poem, "No Excuses". Did I just not see it? I would love to read it. Please. This passage is incredible. I’m a big movie buff. This passage is better then a movie quote that I liked so much that I had it put on a coffee mug. “The future is not set. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves.” This quote from Terminator has stuck with me since I first saw the movie in the 80’s. I like "Destiny" Haiku better. We are what we are Prodigy of our shadows Path of our footprints I can’t decide which line I like best, though. You have such a gift with putting words together. We choose our future by the choices we made in the past. I could see this as a wisdom spoken in a movie. I want to step aside from my life and look for my footsteps. I want to see where they are heading. LoL. My footprints are scattered all over the beach. Thank you for today’s contemplation. Kay-Ren

This Poem was Critiqued By: Marcia McCaslin On Date: 2004-04-07 13:56:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.69643
Hi Erzahl---Wow, now this one leaves me wanting more! It is a cut from No Excuses. I would love to read the whole poem--did it just "happen" to have the right syllables or did you plan to take excerpts out. This one is full of meaning, and layers of meaning--sermons are preached from each line,if you know what I mean. For example: "Class, for tomorrow write an essay entitled 'we are what we are'" and so on for the next lines. The p's work very well together, and all they have in common is their 'puh' sound, for they cleverly go different directions. No repetition here--brand new ideas for us to explore on each line. Wonderful poem. I'm just starting to realize what depth there is in those short poems. As you can tell, I'm getting through my March list so I can go on to April's. (That's what I get for taking a vacation!!) Thanks. Marcia

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-04-02 09:36:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
We are what we are Prodigy of our shadows Path of our footprints Lovely poem Erzahl, with all its layers of meaning this is an amazing philosophical treatise in three lines. We are what we are Yes. There are boundaries in which we live that define us – we are always in the act of becoming who we are and who we were and will be. Prodigy of our shadows We are the leftovers of a life lived – the debris of our own dreams and the dreams of our ancestors Path of our footprints And also of our descendents real and spiritual corporeal and shadow - we are are part of the future and the past and the now. Excellent piece about which volumes could be written. In a way - the title "destiny" limits the paths in which this poem can go ;} Best Rach

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2004-04-01 06:51:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.28205
ee- there is much truth here! As usual, you have trimmed the tree to its essential branches. we are left pondering navels full of lint. te

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-03-30 13:37:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Dear Ezrahl, I've read,related to and enjoyed "No Excuses", and somehow never realized it begins in a Japanese verse format. What a great addition to your collection this is. This piece describes destiny to a tee. As a whole humans are what God made us to be and we cannot change what we are destined to be. IT is all part of His plan. We are however prodigies and as such are able to look up for a shining example as others who go before us point out the way. Thanks for posting this! Blessings, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2004-03-29 20:43:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.62500
Dear Erzahl, I would love to have a wonderful collection of your beautiful japanese verses. They are truly beautiful and say so much in so few words. Have you looked into publishing a collection? I think they are beautiful and very worthy of publication. I would buy your first book! Prodigy of our shadows, ...yes the shadows of the past can make us what we are today, Path of our footprints...I believe that we can make our own footprints by following a path that we are most comfortable with, the one that God designed for us. We are what we are...Are we a product of our environment? or can we make the change? I think we can, and I did! Thanks for this inspiring haiku. Love, Sherri

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-03-29 19:11:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.38776
Hello my friend......I have stopped by to read your Haiku and to let you know it touches my heart though I am empty inside of words to write you at this moment. It has rained here in Tully and the snow has melted off the banking leading to my deck.......I was leaving and walking in and about this mud that filled the side yard when I noticed these large footprints which belonged to the men that took my mom's body away the other night. These men came into my home filled with compassion for a family they had not known before......they treated my mother with respect and dignity .......and when they left footprints remained behind .......they are who they are extending a part of them to us for a single moment in time. Well, I was not going to say a thing for I feel like an empty vessel myself these days but the Lord has once more stepped in and grasciously filled my world with love.....thank you for posting this and for sharing with us what is meant to be......you are you my dear friend and though you are thousand's of miles away you have been here with me in spirit and I so love you for that comforting support. Be safe, God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-03-29 14:46:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.38462
Hi Erzahl, More words of wisdom from you pen! I think if I went back and re-read all your verses I would surely find answers to many questions that whirl about in my mind. This is yet another wise and fitting haiku... we are what we are.....we should never try to be the person we are expected to be if we are not comfortable with that. It is good to strive to please but in the end 'we are what we are' and changing that would be wrong prodigy of our shadows....wizard or miricle...makes no difference when you calculate all the shadows in our lives. Our own shadow is true...reflects what we are, but the shadows of others leave indelible marks, either good or bad but marks us just the same path of our footprints....this is my favorite...from the time we are born we leave paths on everything we touch and everyone we touch. The paths we walk are defined by the footprints (impressions) we leave as we walk along lifes trail. As usual I immensely enjoy your writings and so gald you chose TPL to display them. Pease....Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2004-03-29 12:30:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83871
No, my favorite saying is, we are just a speck in the shadow of time, and truly that what you speak of here, so consequently there wouldn't be any way for me no to comment on this profound verse (using haiku count). You are indeed a deep young man, to understand your placement on this planet earth. There arn't any excuses, just bad decisions, that usually create complix situitions. So my Friend, profoundly, well written, with a valuable message. Another wonderful submission Erzahl. It's always a pleasure.....I know this is rather short, but you write so well there arn't any suggestions I could make, I read them, enjoy them immensely, and comment, you leave nothing to critique, for there isn't anything wrong with this submission, believe me. Wish I had the skill you demonstrate in all your poems, haiku, or whatever style you choose to be expressive in. Jo Morgan

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-03-29 12:03:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80645
Hi Erzahl, There seems to be mystery in this piece! I mean it seems hard for me to uncover the the meanings for your phrases "Prodigy of our shadows" and "Path of our footprints". Yup, we are what we are and life seems to be both simple and intricate in the sense that sometimes we came up with some questions on our existence, the way we are (maybe the way we wanted to be). For me life is God's existence in us. And if there is mystery that I find in my life (when I began to question about my existence), I would just say, God knows it, and I just left it to God! Thank you so much for sharing us this piece, it makes my mind to ponder on my life, who i am, I am not "I Am Who Am"! hehe. Best regards, Jordan

This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-03-29 09:17:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.56977
Erzahl, a nice philosophical senryu, crafted and thought provoking, esp. in L2 & L3. Of course, the count is right [old school-ish]. :) I think this might belong in a newer school, and thereby become more concise and effective with the shortening of L1 to: "we are/prodigies of our shadows/paths of our footprints". Notice lower case line beginnings, too. Only the thoughts of a humble learner - always. Best wishes. wl

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