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This Poem was Submitted By: Andrea M. Taylor On Date: 2004-03-30 00:18:42 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Haunted Hunt

Where you been, Bin? In caves with your sin Why don’t you hide in plain sight? Not behind your follower’s fight. How safe is your skin? Taping tales laced with a holy curse Fattening the calf as well as the purse Lying in wait with a price on your head Millions of reasons to make you quite dead Allies and enemies can be all the same Be watchful of those who utter your name We are out there, seeking to find Rest in peace for peace of mind Waged your war called holiness Man, you’re in a hell of a mess. Headlines readied without a date Fill-in blanks for your ultimate fate Where you been, Bin? In caves with your sin Too many souls earned angel’s wings Won’t be over til’ the fat lady sings How safe is your skin?

This Poem was Critiqued By: Marcia McCaslin On Date: 2004-04-04 13:02:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66000
Hi Andrea--I was on The Link a couple years ago and then got sick--now I'm better and am back. I don't remember seeing your name and perhaps you don't remember seeing mine--but I'm seeing yours now and really like what I see. (I also just wrote out this critique--forgot the back button and am doing it again--seems like it's never as thorough the 2nd time around). I've read your critiques, Andrea, and High-ku, and your brief bio and am seeing a person with some serious thoughts mixed in nicely with levity. Such is the case with this poem. Your title is excellent--the hunt being serious, and the haunted being a stroke of genius for this reader. It gives a certain feel to the poem before it is ever read. I like the way you have opened with Where you been, Bin--and closed with it as well. As a country songwriter, it has a "chorus feel" to it, using this technique. Won't be over til the fat lady sings is a favorite line as well as Man, you're in a hell of a mess. It's like "truth" just shines forth in those two lines. How safe is your skin, is also brought home twice, and is chilling--the question cuts right to the chase. For me, it alomost has a Cowboy Poetry feel--along with the aforementioned country tune feel. It's serious, but also spoof--and I think you've covered all the bases with this one. I see it's #60 on the chart right now--but that will change. Thanks for a good read! Marcia McCaslin

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2004-04-03 10:25:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.62791
Dear Andrea, I love this one! Controversial I am sure but I can't wait till they catch or (kill) him! I feel as passionately about this as it seems you do. I feels good to know someone who shares your feelings and emotions about this horrible man. This is good! Headlines readied without a date Fill-in blanks for your ultimate fate I can believe that, and can't wait to see the headlines. It seems we have come so close to catching him and his sidekick, I have to believe that they will eventually be found just as Saddam was. Without their head they will surely flop around like a chicken with it's head cut off. I don't have one bit of guilt about hunting him down like a dog and giving him the "justice" he deserves! Sorry, stirred up my militant side! LOL. Good flow, good rhythm, easy to read. It gets my vote! Sherri

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-03-31 21:44:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.42222
Hi Andrea, As I read through this poem I had the impulse to jump and yell YES, YES. You have managed to put into words that rhyme, the thoughts and hopes of all of us. Everyday that I turn on the news I hope that someone will say they found this dispicable human being.. perhaps 'human' is the wrong word. He hides in caves because he is a coward but has no second thoughts about killing whenever he sees fit...'lying in wait with a price on your head...millions of reasons to make you quite dead'...I smiled at this line but it is so true...I wish he were 'quite dead!'...'be watchful of those who utter your name..we are out there seeking to find'...good..powerful words...all the way through I feel these words being spoken as if someone was spitting them out in anger....'how safe is your skin?' This is a very appropiate ending...thanks for posting this and mirroring the thoughts of all who are lucky enough to read it. Peace...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-03-30 14:11:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.57471
Andrea, I hope he reads it. I enjoyed the thoughts during this read. You produced the right thoughts to carry the reader into this, and through it. I'd hope you could keep this and expand on it as time and events unfold regarding this episode of our lives. A couple of suggestions. {I wouldn't be me without them.]:>) Where you been, Bin? - [How about the contraction "Where've", though not necessary, only a thought.] In caves with your sin Why don’t you hide in plain sight? - [This raises the question of how one can hide in plain sight.] Not behind your follower’s fight. - [Why a period on this one, & not L2. I'd leave 'em both out.] How safe is your skin? Only one more: I think "angels'" with the apostrophe to fit the plurality of souls, wings and/or angels. Excellent piece of work, nice rhythm and rhyming. I also think the changes in length of the 1st and last stanzas works okay here, kind of a chorus effect. Well done. wl

This Poem was Critiqued By: Debbie Spicer On Date: 2004-03-30 01:35:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Andrea, Oh, I was so taken with this poem. It seems the real culprit is out of the news, possibly dead, but it seems no one is still looking for him. Is he the devil of this earth? Where you been, Bin? In caves with your sin Why don’t you hide in plain sight? Not behind your follower’s fight. How safe is your skin? In your first stanza, how clever you use the been, Bin. Since he lives or lived in caves carrying his sins, I wonder how he can live with himself no matter how he was brought up, how his god instructed him, he was the helper and owner of killing thousands of innocent people. I wouldn't feel safe in his skin or may I say, I wowould never want to be in his skin. Your rhythm and rhymes are seducing to the reader as I, at first, didn't put "Bin" in the poem. I caught on quickly. Taping tales laced with a holy curse Fattening the calf as well as the purse Lying in wait with a price on your head Millions of reasons to make you quite dead Oh, this stanza is amazing for that is just what he did. Why don't we hear about him and what they are doing to find them is untolerable for me. The tapes that once came to us are no more, it seems. Each and every word are intense and the entire stanza meets with each line "wanting" to bring another. The rhyme is perfect. Allies and enemies can be all the same Be watchful of those who utter your name We are out there, seeking to find Rest in peace for peace of mind He had better know, as I am sure he does if her is alive. We should be out there looking in each cave and under each rock. You just don't hear about it in the news anymore. As with the last stanzas, where oh where do you get your perfect rhyming? Waged your war called holiness Man, you’re in a hell of a mess. Headlines readied without a date Fill-in blanks for your ultimate fate This is rich, deep material, Andrea. Killing in the name of their God, it reminds me of when I was 18. I get so angry inside, I can hardly stand it. Oh, he will pay for all he did in hell, there is no doubt in my mind. Where you been, Bin? In caves with your sin Too many souls earned angel’s wings Won’t be over til’ the fat lady sings How safe is your skin? I love how this poem ends. It is a essence of your first stanza, but it deeply and purposefully powerful. There were so many who earned honest angel's wings, but they left many behind for a time, sad, empty, confused. And the the line "Won't be over til' the fat lady sings - outstanding. This poem is rich, powerful, and so true about an evil, ruthless man who can kill without shame. You hit everything to the tee, and I don't know how you do it, but you continue to amaze me with your poetry. Keep on woman! I will see you in less than a month, now and I am getting so excited. A bit scared of driving through Boston in a rental, maybe you can come find me? I arive on a Sunday at 5P. Hee Hee. Wonderful and deeply touching my heart and soul. With love, Debbie

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