This Poem was Submitted By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2004-04-05 10:28:17 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The Sixty Seven Percent Solution to the Problem

On a Sunday in early April –     If you wind your way down to Whale Tail Pond    You would smell the wood smoke from the sugar shack;    It would fill your head with the sweet redolence of boiling sap;    You could watch the viscous brown syrup run steaming hot as it    Is drawn off into stainless steel pails; cringe as the dogs lick the drippings    Off the cool concrete floor    Don would tell you the whole story while his aching uncle Archie    Refills the furnace with the chainsaw’s harvest, the fuel for the furnace    That allows them to boil down four hundred gallons of sweet water    Into the liquid gold that graces your waffles and pancakes    Into the syrup that defies logic, into the subtle blessed sweetness    For a cold winter morning    Mary will walk you through the storeroom under the garage    Where the soldiers stand empty waiting their orders:    Quarts, pints, half-pints, decorator-gift-bottles with a fancy handle,    The choice of the name, the design of the label, the wind in the air,    How son Peter tarred an early pan when she forced him to vacuum    His room while on his watch    You’d smile as the leaks in the filter drop the gooey warm sweetness    Into the waiting dogs’ mouths, and “ooh” and “aah” as Don hands you    The day’s first product in a medicine cup you hold like a chalice    From which you pour the bold golden wine onto your tongue    And taste the sun, feel the warmth of the oak-log fire in your mouth,    Pay homage to the maple    If you wind your way down from the fence at the fork in the road    You could smell a New England of four hundred years past as settlers    Borrowed the knowledge the natives had given up with their land    Feel the flow of time, of sap, of men and women who every spring    Make a pilgrimage into the woods with taps and bags to gather    The nectar of the maple-gods    Or you could go to the store and buy a bottle of Aunt Jemima with the butter    Already mixed in and save yourself the hassle of driving all the way    Out there into the woods, down the soft gravel road from the police station    To the end of the road deep in the midst of the sugar bush with its    Blue tubing running tree to tree like telephone lines that you know, when    You see them standing tall,    Took them hours of hard work, a labor of love; you’d sense the logic    And planning required to be prepared to collect, store, boil down;    You’d see the concentration gradient in the boiling liquid,    You’d hear the roar of the fire, feel the humidity in the shack    As the forty-to-one reduction roils and boils beneath the shiny    Stainless steel hoods    Feel the cold northwest wind whip in through the big sliding door    As Archie brings in another red wheelbarrow full of cord-wood,    The heat when he opens the doors to the furnace lined with    The heat-tolerant bricks from the kiln in Shakopee, perhaps    You’d take a knee as Don showed you where the syrup’s    Hot journey ends    And say a small prayer to your god as the sap in the tank is slowly    Delivered into the oven where a gallon a minute – the fire’s not    Too hot today – is boiled away, the wind pulling the steam from    The window in the cupola designed specifically to allow the Venturi    Effect to cleanse the room of its steamy head, in which you revel    As the sun shines overhead …                 if the plate runs with sweet maple syrup        something is right in the world today        for a moment it all seems to be okay        for a moment you forget hunger and war        for a moment you forget hate, violence, even manners -           and clean your plate with your tongue

Copyright © April 2004 Thomas Edward Wright


This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2004-04-28 21:51:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.05000
Hi Thomas, Another fascinating story to tell! “The Sixty Seven Percent Solution To The Problem” – The title itself is already a storyteller! This ear-catching title sure brings headlines to us who are looking for poems to critique. I can’t help not to be attracted by the title. This is very interesting and clever! Makes one to ponder, “what’s the story behind?” Your poem here summarized your experience with war, with business, with “syrup” making, with the word “hardwork” which you perfectly define as “a labor of love”, with extraordinary family, and many more of life to reflect in… You have introduced us with such extraordinary family…”Don”, “Uncle Archie”, “Mary” but the most famous “Aunt Jemima” is whose I’m familiar with…:) “if the plate runs with sweet maple syrup something is right in the world today for a moment it all seems to be okay for a moment you forget hunger and war for a moment you forget hate, violence, even manners - and clean your plate with your tongue” --- Putting a “…” before this stanza is a clever move. It pauses us to focus on the real message of this piece. And such striking words and lines that leave this reader in awe. Yes, we are always living in the “moment”…and to live that “moment” with the syrup is what a moment you captured. How could I expand for you already completed that “moment”. To associate that “sweet maple syrup” as that perfect moment is so clever! This delirious experience of forgetting “hunger and war”, “hate, violence and even manners” is truly an intelligent writing. Ending it with this line “and clean your plate with your tongue” is just perfect! Playful but deep! In summary, it says how we should cherish every moment that is a blessing. Savor that “moment” for it might not happened again and count it as a "blessing". As what you always said, “Cherish it ee. It don't last forever.” Thanks for another splendid performance! As always, Erzahl :) P.S. Just curious, why “The Sixty Seven Percent Solution To The Problem”? Is the remaining 33% the “vinyl 33 on the spindle” from your other poem “Talking About It with My Dad”? :)


This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2004-04-18 16:51:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Tom, This poem just resonates with sensory perceptions. It is a lovely, long poem that flows just as sweetly as the maple syrup doesn when you pour it on pancakes or waffles. It has the past and present and is pleasantly melded into a beautiful work of art. This one is going on my list for sure. You used alliteration so well and effectively throughout the work, as well as some internal rhyme. I probably could go on and on about it as this one is one that really caught me up into the mood as I read it. Thanks for sharing, Sherri
This Poem was Critiqued By: Marcia McCaslin On Date: 2004-04-09 22:12:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Tom--"the syrup that defies logic"---ever the physicist in you sees all things with a different, albeit, appealing slant. You have so many vivid pictures in here, it's hard to even choose a few favorites. Perhaps like the syrup, all steps/pictures are needed. I like your Whale Tail Pond and your uncle Archie, names that give place and person to what's going on. The stainless steel pails on the one hand and the dogs licking off the concrete in the next--steriley clean, earthly not-so-clean. Life is like that, though, of course, the opposites giving contrast, It also gives this poem 3-dimensional texture which this reader is delighted with. "The chainsaw's harvest" is yet another seeming contradiction--that such 'waste' fuels the fire for the pure sweetness--somewhat like the horse manure growing wonderful vegetables! The "medicine cup"...you "hold like a chalice"--wonderful imagery--the introduction of Don, Uncle Archie and now Mary gives personality to your story and substance to your theme. "waiting dogs' mouths"---seems as though the critters make out pretty good--and we all know that dogs and cats usually won't eat stuff that really isn't truly good. They smell everything first--unlike myself who trustingly pops it into my mouth!!! "the golden wine onto your tongue"......the nectar of the maple-gods".......the forty-to-one reduction roils"==just excellent description and alliterative poetry here--smells, pictures, pleople, the innards of life working hard to make something sweet from earth's yield. "northwest winds" and "wheelbarrows" all add to the rugged work you are portaying here. Excellent simplicity, Tom, that manages to make beautiful out of a lot of life that is not beautiful to begin with. then your last verse is like a little PS that you sing which is comforting in its faith and simplicity. And last to clean your plate with your tongue. There' s a kid in all of us, isn't there, Tom. I learned a whole lot here, and enjoyed every minute! Best, Marcia
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-04-06 22:04:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Tomé-- As delicious a plate as ever I've licked in imagination! Even better, I think, than maple syrup tastes. I've always wondered what went on in a doctor's mind. Now I know! One of them is fantasizing about the aroma, color, viscosity of maple syrup and good stories told by Don. And that one knows a great lesson of life - without being at all preachy, you have demonstrated that the life before us is meant to be lived and appreciated. if the plate runs with sweet maple syrup something is right in the world today for a moment it all seems to be okay for a moment you forget hunger and war for a moment you forget hate, violence, even manners - and clean your plate with your tongue And here I thought Bailey's was the best sweet taste! (Terrible on pancakes, though.) Peace, Joanne PS I think that 'a moment' is all we really have.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lynda G Smith On Date: 2004-04-06 20:33:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Tom, What a wonderful walk... a zen experience, lived vicariously and causing a flood of memories. There is so much that we as humans can take into our lives, our souls, our thinking, which ultimately effect and direct outcomes. I loved the tense of your verbs... you would... you could... so much potential and this word I love... Possibility. Life is all about choices. 'As a man thinketh', as a man sees, as he chooses... so he is, so is the world. You bring us so humanely through the telling, and not without humour(humor for you Americans*grin). Your aseptic conditioning is showing. You would probably have a coronary if you saw what my dogs sneak as treats. As I live on a horse farm, I shall leave that to your ...uum imagination! The telling has the flavour of a fireside sharing; the family gathered around with these memories painted in words redolent of sweetness, both in subject and in delivery. These little vignettes of their life/lives have me smiling all the way through. I really enjoy the timed release of the delivery as well... regular, steady... like the constant steady drip of the sap. You've made it very personal... we can choose to know these people, we can choose our own path... Your metaphores and images are as usual superb. dogs and drippings, chainsaw's harvest, the empty cans as soldiers(I particularly loved that one), the chalice of the sample with homage paid, the discernment of the wine connoisseur*smile... 'the bold golden wine', the Aunt Jemima(which I grew up on) such a contrast pointing to the authentic as the better choice, tubes running like telephone lines - images and sounds on so many levels, contrast again between the chemistry of nature and the chemistry of people, the interesting parallels of Venturi and venting, The conlcusion is masterful... If the plate runs with sweet maple syrup...a resonance of peace, of order, of priorities, of choices... and we're not that different from the dogs, are we, licking. Nice bit of unification there. I thoroughly enjoyed the walk and now I think, being a Sherlock Holmes fan, I shall go and enjoy my copy of the "Seven percent Solution" One elixer calls to some, - so different from another. One creative, one destructive. I think I'll stay with the sixty-seven percent solution. Lynda
This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-04-06 20:09:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
I could say, "Been there, done that." -and, it was fun at 8 to 10 years of age. I would even drink the sap as we hauled it by hand in buckets on the bobsled my brother built. The aroma in the shack was so sweet and enchanting. Enough about my memories, which you have really boiled perfectly into this piece. I love it and will not recommend a single change. Grade me as you will. It is lengthy, but not a bit redundant or monotonous, being filled with such wondrous images and temptations for the senses, especially smell and taste. Write on, poet. Peace. wl
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