This Poem was Submitted By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2004-04-21 09:41:34 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Majourney Well

                You see, she was the only one;                 And one cherishes the onlies:                 The careful chord, the unicorn,                 The child’s self-portrait, a kiss.                 Delicate, web-wove, womb-ish,                 One delights in her songs sung                 And hung above the cradle’s bow,                 She the wind, she the rudder.                 As her sails ‘neath horizon slide                 I see from opposing shore                 Her anticipated arrival:                 Fair thee well mama-door.                                        Fair thee well.

Copyright © April 2004 Thomas Edward Wright


This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-05-05 12:49:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.81250
TW: This weekend being Mother's Day, I'm basking in the tenderness of this tirbute. It does tend to make me tear up, but only because it is so obvious that you love her so much and I can relate. The beautiful and loving heart she gave you is easily glimpsed from here. And you don't waste it. I love the metaphor of sailing. Here's to the only one and the one and only. Cheers, jj


This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2004-04-28 21:53:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.05000
Hi Thomas, I don’t know why but I find this a wonderful read! Though a bit confusing, I just find this piece very poetic, mysterious and most of all entertaining. I hope I was able to hit the interpretations right! Here goes… I find the “Majourney Well” as an old ship with a wonderful and majestic journey. The use of the feminine pronoun “she” and “her” symbolizes that yes there is a big object worth calling as a very personal possession. This can also be a famous author, reaching those readers through the journey of her poetries. This can also be a well anchored to the deep. “The careful chord, the unicorn, The child’s self-portrait, a kiss.” --- I find this lines poetic, charming and enchanting… “Delicate, web-wove, womb-ish, One delights in her songs sung And hung above the cradle’s bow, She the wind, she the rudder.” --- These are distant words yet ever-reaching! It tells a thousand revelations and images yet riddle-like. “As her sails ‘neath horizon slide I see from opposing shore Her anticipated arrival: Fair thee well mama-door.” --- These are great and striking lines! I can visualize the “arrival” of such splendid ship like the Titanic! “Fair thee well.” --- Such elegant ending using old English. Suits perfectly with the subjects! Again, another inspiring words from your pen. Keep on writing! Continue to entertain us by your excellent mind, inspirations and experiences. Always a believer, Erzahl :)
This Poem was Critiqued By: Marcia McCaslin On Date: 2004-04-24 12:14:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.97500
Tom-- This is so well done, I am stuck between breaths. THe language, incredible--fantastically poetic, has the ring of sadness, and yet, of course, your ending is not sad. Well, it is and it's not at the same time. I see from opposing shore Her anticipated arrival: Fair thee well mama-door. This is the happy ending, for her at least, as I see it--her anticipated arrival--and mama-door. (Only you.) I am sure, being as careful as you are and as articulate, that you intended to use: Fair tee well. But my dictonary online states it as "fare-thee-well"--I have even learned that all online dictionaries are not created equal, possibly because of their create-ors. Anyway, this is a fine effort and will stick with this reader, probably forever--since forever's not that far away. (IMO) Thanks. Marcia
This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-04-23 15:49:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.62687
Thomas, what a beautiful goodbye for one who took us, led us, showed the way from cradle to wherever/whatever we are now. Some beautiful images reminding us of those little things mothers shared with us to make the world a nicer place for their babies. I would suggest just one teeny little thing, but hesitate to do even that. Oh well, Fair thee well mama-door. -[How about a comma after "well"?] Apowerfully emotional read. Thanks so much for posting. Wayne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-04-21 14:09:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Tom: I can only speak to my emotion, reading this. There is an ache in my throat and a pressure behind my eyes. Maybe it's projection, but in these lines I read immense tenderless, love and grief for a mother who may be dying or who has already done so. The "fare thee well" breaks my heart. We do know the necessity of those leave-takings, but they are, because we love, the hardest of life's experiences. As her sails ‘neath horizon slide I see from opposing shore Her anticipated arrival: Fair thee well mama-door. "one cherishes the onlies" - yes, there can be only one "mama-door" for each of us. To have been cherished (as you cherish her in this poem) is the greatest tribute of all. All of your work is a testament to her. How painful it is that we are fated to be separated from those who love us best from the moment of our birth, and they from us. It's difficult, but I must close these remarks because I can't find words. With you, Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-04-21 11:26:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.37500
Hi Thomas, This piece of you strikes me most! The length is short unlike the previous submissions. This is cute, I would say! I am pleased with the abstractness of the poem especially in the second stanza where you have the line "hung above the cradle’s bow" --- very nice to visualize. And the metaphor is striking, the wind, the rudder. Laconic, but nicely done! Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-04-21 10:51:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.18182
Majourney Well ma journey well well, wow You see, she was the only one; And one cherishes the onlies: it took me a while to unerstand the word "onlies" -perhaps something like only-es i know, i know, that would not be gramatical--so nevermind... The careful chord, the unicorn, great sound you have going there The child’s self-portrait, a kiss. Delicate, web-wove[n], womb-ish, [love it] One delights in her songs sung And hung above the cradle’s bow, She the wind, she the rudder. yes yes As her sails ‘neath horizon slide I see from opposing shore Her anticipated arrival: Fair thee well mama-door. Fair thee well. indeed and fair thee well man who is so women kind
This Poem was Critiqued By: Elaine Marie Phalen On Date: 2004-04-21 10:14:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
What an evocative poem about the "launching" of a beloved only child [or her relocation from one parent to another, but more on that later]!!! Your metaphors are colorful and so fresh - one never reads trite, tired imagery in your work. I always enjoy seeing what you'll be up to next. "The careful chord, the unicorn" - yes, and so used to being solo and a bit spoiled. Delicate, web-wove, womb-ish, One delights in her songs sung And hung above the cradle’s bow, She the wind, she the rudder. All those s/w consonants blend softly and wonderfully. The baby is the center of her own universe; everything from cradle on is provided for her appreciation: wind and rudder, alpha and omega. Here you begin the ship metaphor that will extend to the finish. I like the way "bow" can be used either as a ship's part or a ribbony flourish, such as we often use to decorate a little girl's nursery. "Fair thee well mama-door" - time to exit that early maternal nest and sail toward adulthood. Interesting use of "fair" as opposed to "fare", suggesting the weather and the future - both bright - as well as the daughter - now beautiful in her new maturity. Mine is graduating on May 21 with her first degree and then goes on to professional studies. It's always a wrench to think of the distance over which she's travelled from my own "mama-door" (love that!!). But it's a revolving door, I think. She'll be back; they always come back when they need us. Meanwhile, she's in good company. The poem could also involve a marital split, with the custodial parent (father, probably) taking his turn at parenting from the significantly "opposing" shore. However, I'm not reading it as such because of its relevance to my personal experience. Very timely piece at this time of spring convocations! Brenda
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2004-04-21 09:55:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Tom This only one, was she the mother of your child/ren? What a treasure she was, "the careful chord". Whoever she was, you see where she's going, and miss her, driving wind and guiding rudder to what was childlike and growing for you. A very tender valediction. Mark.
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