This Poem was Submitted By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2004-05-18 22:03:06 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The Defining Moment

For Mell, The Thesaurian Not the taciturn mother, But her quixotic daughter, The fat one living in Houston, The one with Twisted Sister  Emblazoned on her rump. I know this because I was in the  Washroom at the Drive-In and She came out hiking up her hips, Painted her lips and slunk out. She is one large woman. Having graduated last month From Austin Central I can read. There it was on her left hip: Twisted Sister and the Red Lips; That made me think for a moment. She’s smoking in the men's room. I could scarcely breathe. Thank god I carry my inhaler. That’s all I remember about it. It was way too fuliginous for me. I am thinking of going public. Lacrymoso, pathetique. Penumele kiki bobo. Hui akalea mumu. Unquestionably. When there's nothing to say, Speak Hawaiian, and mumble. Your fuliginous humor will. Verily.  The fat after burn. Gezundheit.

Copyright © May 2004 Thomas Edward Wright


This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-06-03 17:26:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60000
Hi Tom, Well I don't know what Mell thinks about this poem but to me it is priceless. It is full of words that I know Mell will love...as she adores words. "fuliginous" will delight her I am sure. Your humor throughout this piece is spectacular as it made me laugh more than once...in fact your poems do this to me often. Now what in the heck did you say in Hawaiian? I am just dying to know and unless I miss my guess so is Mell. However, she may not want you to go public with this rendition! Peace...Marilyn


This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-06-03 17:25:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.70000
This is a thesaurus tour de force! Well done, and frankly I am pretty much in awe. I like that you incorporated some sentiments of your odd juxtaposition in a different language. It's also a super descriptive of the main heavy character in this, and tells you a bit more about her with each line. The word fuliginous is a very visceral word for some reason to me. It makes sense in the context of the Hawaiian people, as I know everything I owned was tinged with red after I came back from Kauai with the soil. I don't know if the other islands are like that. For me, cigarette smoking is the most vile thing in existence, and the description of this person doesn't jibe with my experience of those people, but I have met people like this woman you describe right in my own apartment complex. Thanks, REEG!
This Poem was Critiqued By: G. Donald Cribbs On Date: 2004-05-30 22:08:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.86486
TEW, Wow, and you're the one who once told me I had to have MY meds adjusted! I am stunned. I don't know what to say, but I can't speak Hawaiian anyway. However, I do speak English, Spanish, Latin, Greek and Chinese. I also know basic sign language. Does any of that help me to grasp the deeper meaning of a heavy woman's tattooed ass? Not quite, but I do appreciate your humorous approach to Mell's verbiage. You metriculated this poem quite surreptitiously. Warm regards, Don
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2004-05-23 11:43:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
T.: I just now saw this poem and I am even rolling my eyes. There are some inside references and I doubt members will comprehend your loving tribute. I recommend a few minor adjustments for clarity's sake: The fat one in Houston is my sister although she lives near Dallas and she is the slinky one. All else is accepted as encomium from your heart. Your heart throbs with Texan sentiment...you as well as those west Texas cowpokes know the beauty and allure of a big-boned woman. My heart actually skipped a beat (PVC's) when I read my favorite adjective: fuliginous. But I think you are taking this too far and I don't want you to go public. I have a friend in Hawaii who will translate for me but I cannot call now as he's asleep. Oh, how I long to know every nuance of your mumu bobo. (Shouldn't kiki-bobo be hyphenated?) And the highest tribute of all in the closing stanza about my fuliginous humor. You are the sole person in my life to have said that of me and while it's a bit over-the-top, I feel in the presence of a friend with vatic powers. T., I will print this panegyric, enlarge the size, and frame it. I have the perfect spot for hanging: above my desk. I have out-of-town relatives coming to visit next week and I'll have my son get it ready before their arrival. I'll admit my pride in "The Defining Moment" and want to share this eulogy with others. What can I possibly say? Thank you, T. This is a moment I'll never forget. Fuliginous herself, Twisted
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2004-05-20 05:56:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.11111
How come hacks like you get access to strange women's rumps? Fat, emblazoned, or otherwise. Lacrymoso? Just cry like normal people! Your truly Frustrated Male.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-05-19 13:59:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
Tom-tom-on-parodic-tear, I perused your viands: your proteinaceous susurrations are silt-fraught and I found micturations (often in perpendicularity) while zephyr’d skits informed the brachial plexus of the next nexus! What's this with hips? What was the celebrity's name you once scratched deeply into the exposed hip of a hill's steeply sedimentary rock flank? Aloha, JoAndUp
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2004-05-18 22:39:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Funny. The stars are wierdly aligned. I post. MAH posts. You post. The Triple Alliance. Coincidence? Tomorrow will tell. The poem was quite Mell-like. You play poetry like a game of pool. This one was a bank in the corner pocket. Pass the chalk.
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