This Poem was Submitted By: Edwin John Krizek On Date: 2004-05-22 23:16:14 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Sisyphus' Epistle or The Humanist's Punishment The struggle itself toward heights
is enough to fill a man’s heart.
Albert Camus
Oh dismal stone
that presses on my heart
you stop me from loving.
Your gray hardness
lingering in my eyes
blocks even tears.
Your pitted surface
scrapes rough bloody clods
of feeling from my soul.
Boulder of bleak reality
you eclipse the glorious sun.
Your shadow billows
over all that is joyous.
And it is my job
to move you
up this mountain
until together we reach
its summit.
There after some small reckoning
together we will tumble
down the hillside
trampling the brambles and trees,
squelching a well worn trail
through the underbrush.
Finding balance again
in the foothills,
I will begin again
the journey
that is my fate;
and together
we will travel skyward
once again reaching the elation
found at
the zenith of despair.
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Copyright © May 2004 Edwin John Krizek
This Poem was Critiqued By: Marcia McCaslin On Date: 2004-06-04 19:45:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60000
Hi Edwin. I haven't seen your name before--but that doesn't mean such since I'm here and gone again. This is
wonderful--deep, terribly creative, and not hard to understand at all--just gives us a tour through your imagination and poetic reference. I love this, its tremendous movement--up and back and up again--you and this
stone, sort of hooked together for all eternity--for better or worse. Your last line--zenith of despair--just
sums it up wonderfully, and all the tumblings in between keep us in a suspenseful mode. Good work. I enjoyed
this immensely. Best. Marcia
This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-06-01 23:57:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
An interesting and quite lyrical poem, quite contrasted with the general topic at hand. I hadn't know anything about Albert Camus- I looked him up, so it's clear that many of the points you may make in reference to him I won't follow, but clearly the existentialist viewpoint is evident here, as the paradox of existential and referential moralities are evident here. No more so in the last lines of the work.
It's interesting that this movement was so very French in it's flavor. While later it would be refined by the Viktor Frankl's of the world- your work reminded me a bit of France or a European's balanced way of seeing their social responsibilities. This is echoed in the middle portion of your work, now that I look at it.
I will need to take a look at this Nobel prize winner more in the future. Thanks for the heads up.
Thanks,
REEG!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Anne Korb On Date: 2004-05-27 13:42:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Edwin:
Your imagery is fabulous, but such a very sad poem to begin with, ending with hope. I truly loved the strength of your words. Keep writing, I can't wait to see something else you've written.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2004-05-27 07:18:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.47500
Like a scholarly work.
Like an old film redone in modern verse.
Like a match in the hands of a child.
Like that.
Only better.
Or worse.
Rock Pusher
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-05-24 02:50:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92308
Hi Edwin,
I am excited to give input to your poetry as this is my first time.
I did not recognize you before, I believe you are new here in the link,
So a warm welcome to you. The title of your poem:
"Sisyphus' Epistle or The Humanist's Punishment" strikes me most.
I can see the importance of the theme at once and thinking...This must
be a serious subject! Indeed, an effective title! The reference to the
Greek Mythology Sisyphus (A cruel king of Corinth condemned forever
to roll a huge stone up a hill in Hades only to have
it roll down again on nearing the top." is intriguing. This creates a hot
discussion here. The inclusion of the quotation by Albert Camus supports
the theme. It is my first encounter to that brilliant quotation.
Now, the presentation of the ideas is highly reinforced by the use of the
personification. So figurative and there is a true meaning behind this.
"Oh dismal stone
that presses on my heart
you stop me from loving."
Powerful beginning! Who can't get attentive to this? It has a great impact
to the reader, atleast to me. Apparently, the mention of the stone supports
the validity of the Greek Mythology. The stone blocks love and even tear? Intriguing!
Boulder of bleak reality --nice allit with 'b' sound
you eclipse the glorious sun.
You packed this one with strong language with the apt choice of words.
"And it is my job
to move you
up this mountain
until together we reach
its summit."
Ah, the Greek Mythology of Sisyphus!
The influx of your ideas just flow nicely moving up and up in rhythm with
the job of Sisyphus (rolling a huge stone up). (smile). Really really powerful
crafting until the climaxing end.
Superbly done, Edwin!
You have the special knack in poetry.
Hope you will stay.
Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-05-23 14:21:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.23077
Edwin, I enjoyed this one the most of several of yours that I have read. I've hesitated to comment on the others for more study of them. This one contains metaphorical excellence, imagery, action, assonance, alliteration, etc. Although it is saddening, I found it an easy and enjoyable read. Thanks for submitting. The line breaks and punctuation are well done, and the staccato lines serve the purpose of moving the reader rapidly on this journey. I see nothing to suggest except maybe one comma at the beginning, after "Oh" to cause just the slightest pause in addressing the stone. Excellent work, poet. Peace. wrl.
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