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I Am Fred Chapter 1V Where are ye, milady? Called the elf named Fred Are ye in thee garden bed? I am Fred, he said I'm all a dither with me natty nymph, he said agitated She makes me daft in me head, I am Fred, he said. I'm here beside the shed, where is your suit of red? I said. Me natty nymph wants me in blue instead, he said. She stole me jaunty hat and fled, I am Fred, he said. Where did she flee is she bird-witted? I said. I know not, milday, she may be cat footed, he said I pray me jaunty hat ain't shredded, I am Fred, he said. Now, now, my wee elf don't be down-hearted, I said. Me thinks I shall find me sprite, I am Fred, he said. But she may be in love with the toad, I said disquieted. Nay, milady she loves only me I am Fred, he said. What do I say if natty nymph returns? I said dumbfounded. Say I changed me name to Bob he said nodding his head! Then off he sped in his suit of blue not red Wee legs stepping high in search of his beloved Oh Fred will you come back? I cried disappointed Mayhap milady, ye ought remember I am Fred, he said. |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lennard J. McIntosh On Date: 2004-08-02 16:56:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.93750
Re: "I Am Fred Chapter 1V"
This is a riotous romp in a whimsical rhyme that should bring a smile to everyone.
Writer: "She makes me daft in me head, I am Fred, he said." *** I like the way the
writer demonstrates a different pathway to rhyming verse - with three occurrences in the same
line.
Writer: "I'm here beside the shed, where is your suit of red? I said.
Me natty nymph wants me in blue instead, he said." *** Here is a fine example
of alliteration working with the cadence of each line and, also running into the next. Further,
please notice the unique rhyming pattern of "instead," and "said."
Should the word "milday" in the third stanza have been "milady?"
I enjoy the ceativity and jaunt of the piece. Good work!
Len McIntosh