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This Poem was Submitted By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2004-09-07 15:57:00 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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A Diamond Of Design

Sacred gemstones lie scattered in the streets In the mixture of the people that we meet The cabochon, a gem of polished sheen It seems uncut by life's unyielding theme Does shine, but just the surface it will show Unfaceted, what lies beneath... we'll never know The opaque stone, no radiance it shows It's life a melancholy path of woes Beneath the clouded surface lies the soul That countless years of pain, hath took it's toll But then the transparent gem, it comes to light One that's radiance, does beam so bright No serious diffusion stops it's glow A soul that shines, a heart were love does flow So from these precious gemstones, one will find Many personalities of all mankind That everyone's a diamond of design To find real treasure, takes a little time Sacred gemstones lie scattered in the streets In the mixture of the people that we meet

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2004-10-07 22:41:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
Nancy, Very well written! I love the play on the metaphors of personalities in the different types of gems. Your work is well formed, flows well in most the entire poem and the message comes across clearly and succinctly. Thank you for sharing this great piece with us online. I love how the first two lines and last two lines repeat - the second time round there's such more meaning in the couplet thanks to your superb writing. I think that is what makes a poem truely wonderful when the writer makes you think and shift your perspective effortlessly, and that is exactly what you do with this one. Job well done! Keep writing. Mandie

This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2004-10-03 21:26:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Nancy, This was really interesting, and you did a wonderfully creative job personifying stones of all different types. I thought the title was more than fitting, but by the end of the poem I think you can call this one SACRED GEMSTONES or even SACRED STONES (just a suggestion --smile). How clever to devote one stanza to each type of stone, each type of person. You tie the qualities of the stone into the real qualities of people so well. So much so, that we become the stones, and the stones become us. I'm still trying to figute out which stone I am. I always compared myself to a diamond, but according to your poem, aren't we all. Thanks for sharing such a refreshing poem. It was delightful to read. Great job. Latorial www.latorial.com

This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2004-09-27 23:37:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Nancy, This is a well-thought theme! And is executed perfectly and inspiringly! You have discovered the real treasure of the human heart! “Sacred gemstones lie scattered in the streets In the mixture of the people that we meet” - I liked how you start and end the entire poem with this line / phrase! I find it an appropriate intro and reminder for the poem. I also liked how you used the word “sacred” for gemstones. Your words are real and haunting! “A soul that shines, a heart were love does flow” - This is an unforgettable line! The colors of your words are radiated in different faces and shades! Your metaphors are beautiful rainbow and spices of the poem. Truly a gem! Thanks for posting this inspirational truth! Thanks for teaching us to accept the diverse personality and character of the human race and how to get most of its spark! Thanks for this reflective masterpiece! You have done it well! Congratulations! As always, Erzahl :)

This Poem was Critiqued By: Robert Wyma On Date: 2004-09-23 14:31:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
A bold metaphorical journey, that describes us appropriately perhaps as cut and uncut (my thoughts). I think you take me to the precious, positive view of humanity, which is refreshing. So often we frame by contrast the rough with the beautiful. You have primarily focussed on the inner beauty in contrast with what may appear on the outside, as a shell hiding something greater. This speaks to a greater truth, and perhaps a a more difficult truth to relate to in our busy modern world. Each of us, would we have the time, has hidden, very attractive, deeper parts of ourselves waiting for an opportunity to emerge. I might guess that is why some of us write, and interact at TPL. Thanks for sharing this poem Nancy. Well done. Robert

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jana Buck Hanks On Date: 2004-09-13 12:45:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Dear Nancy, I love stones...precious or otherwise, so this poem is close to my heart. I love the analogy of stones being people and how the facets of time make them precious, if we are willing to hone that dull piece of earth...over time...bringing out the qualities of the pure diamond. The rhyme is so soft and each stanza flows gently into the next. The ending is excellent bringing the point of the poem to an end. Bright Blessings Jana

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-09-07 18:36:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Nancy–This may be my first time reviewing your work, but you’ve got my attention by posting a rhyme, which is my favorite form. The poem kept me interested through the “fresh” analogy-like comparisons of people to “Diamonds.” Great personification piece with active descriptors which aptly enhance each selected stone and inference portrayal of similar human traits. Excellent end rimes produce sonorous tone while creating vivid imagery. The repeat of the title and first stanza in the last four lines (respectively) serve to reemphasize the theme and give the piece a sense of finality. Thanks for sharing this superb allegory with us at TPL. Keep writing. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-09-07 17:36:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.75000
People as gems in all there many different qualities, we all belong to different groups and yet have individual uniqueness of our own. It makes me wonder what kind of gemstone I am, the irish in me says emerald and perhaps thats right your poem does make me a bit envious. But of course I'd rather think of myself as captured in: But then the transparent gem, it comes to light One that's radiance, does beam so bright No serious diffusion stops it's glow A soul that shines, a heart were love does flow I can only hope I am. Thanks for posting your delightlful poem.

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