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Five loves 1. I had one virgin once, one though I was not one too. Three years, it could have been four not counting that one she went away. Again, it’s that first love that with a crush of chest each breath is pain each step shatters your own silence. Yes, that was love. I left my home and state, followed her across a continent. But she loved overalls from an early age, and discovered the taste of women. 2. Of course, that wasn’t love. Love was a woman from Israel, love wanted to do other things with its mouth, but I was too provincial. Love wanted to do things with other men, see me with other women. Love loved me best the moment I left. Forgive me, but I get stuck here. Every other love is stretched across this measuring rack I long mistook for love. 3. The rack’s first victim, well only victim, but still! How can you love someone who loves hearing the sound of their own misery? I didn’t even try. “Do you love me?” “I ‘gentle’ you” was my meek confession. She lay back on the rack. Three more years would pass before the novelty of this love wore off. Yet I begged her from the bottom, she at top, of stairs to stay: she left. 4. But not before I met Four. Wow, this one chased me, this queen this Hera this Sphinx this singular woman with a capital double-you. Dyke, tramp, victim now what? I find my mother. No wonder my mother hated her, she was all my mother wasn’t. She briefly mothered me and mostly then our children and her grandmother. I found my vocation as the chief domestic aide. It nearly killed me. 5. The best for last? Ironic, isn’t it? She should have been first but she died in the crush, this time of history, under my jackboot. Where is the love in any of this? What are we all running from? Ghosts? Ghosts of loves that never were? Five’s innocence remains, her faith, unjustified in me, carried into this world another child. O my little love, it’s all uphill from here. |
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-10-28 15:23:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.63333
Hi Mark,
Your five loves you write about sound pretty exciting to me....until you tell us
why four of them were not your true loves. So #1 liked women best? What an ego
killer that must have been...but I am sure it happens more than any of us know. I worked
with a nurse..long ago...that married a drug salesman but before she married him she asked
me if I thought it odd that he never tried to sleep with her before they got married.
I wanted to say...'run like hell' but it was too late for that advice so I just made some
inane comment. The wedding night was a disaster and after that he began bringing men home.
So that was that. Now #2 sounds much like a pervert...however I doubt that she was..just
a wee bit different than most. You could probably write a novel about that experience...
if you do let me know and I will buy the book...a juicy book never hurts. Just to see
how others live is always an eye-opener. I think #3 sounds narcissist...what a bore.
So you married #4? And there were children...too bad that one didn't last...but if you
were the one who did all the work I don't blame you...you said "It nearly killed me"...
...not good. And now #5 which sounds pretty wonderful to me...good for you. I am very
intrigued by this poem...are all these women in your book? Glad to see you posting here
again.
Peace...Marilyn