This Poem was Submitted By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-10-29 01:19:02 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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I alone stand in such a place winters cold and wet quiet creeps in the breeze in such a place a past we can beget quiet sleeps in the trees I walk a line, maintained by slyness in such a place summers dry and hot quiet peeps in, on it's knees in such a place rumors time had forgot quietly speak within me I walk a vine, maintained by violence in such a place humid, not dry or wet quiet rules, if you please in such a place humble, not high or set quietly seats a banshee I walk in time, maintained by silence in such a place I take your hand

Copyright © October 2004 Regis L Chapman

Additional Notes:
I was visualizing the garden at the temple, where I will be living in 3 days. This one is for the seasons in time and mind, and my hope to know them in such a place of equanimity.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2004-11-04 14:18:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.35088
Regis, To have time to reflect is good to do for all of us. To think of who we are, what we want and find your center. Thus attain peace. quiet peeps/seeps/rules Quiet sleeps in the trees quietly sleeps within me quietly seats a banshee.. introspection I think I'll be quiet.... Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2004-10-29 22:41:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.30000
Dear Regis, I have never lived at a temple, but somewhere in my minds eye I see these places - as if I've been there, a place like it. Your words bring out the most visual pictures along with the feelings befitting them. I really enjoyed your poem, and I've missed your posts here at TPL. I like how you start with I alone stand, then gradually go into verse. I like the idea of separating the two - it reads well. Some of my favorite parts in this piece which I find quiet unique are: I walk a line, maintained by slyness - the reader raises their eyebrows here - another great visual. Quiet sleeps in the trees, brings about a feeling of peace. The ending is surreal - in such a place I take your hand - you and I connect in this place and it feels right. Great job as always Regis, Sincerely, DeniMari
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2004-10-29 09:31:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.86486
Regis, don't know anything about your living at a temple, but you created a fine, contrasting work in your visualization of that quest. I felt the early morn, and the time standing still to my purveyance. You use quiet as a parameter of adornment, "quiet creeps in the breeze", "quiet sleeps in the trees" and in so doing you set the moment for the rest of your verse. It already had me, thinking, "visualizing" if you will. Truly setting the moment. Walking a line in slyness during the summer, you speak as if the summer is clandestinely treasured. Once again the "quiet" "sneaks in". I was immediately jettisoned for a moment back to your first verse and envisioned a summers morning, maybe a little colder, reminiscing on the stark beauty of winter to come. quietly seats the banshee, I was brought to autumn, and the falling of life in preparation for winter. A sort of quiet "destruction" if you will, a moratorium on the rest of the year. "I walk in time", seemingly to take the hand of the creator, maybe to discuss the entirety of creation. At any rate, this was a thought provoking piece.
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