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Conversation between divorced husband and wife Wife to husband, quoting Hardy: Perhaps, long hence, when I have passed away, Some other’s feature, accent, thought like mine, Will carry you back to what I used to say, And bring some memory of your love’s decline. Then you may pause awhile and think, “Poor jade!” And yield a sigh to me—as gift benign, Not as the tittle of a debt unpaid To one who could to you her all resign— And thus reflecting, you will never see That your thin thought, in two small words conveyed, Was no such fleeting phantom-thought to me, But the Whole Life wherein my part was played; And you amid its fitful masquerade A Thought—as I in yours but seem to be. Husband to wife, quoting Hislop: Perhaps, long past, when I was fresh and true Some devil that beheld you from afar Had pulled some puppet strings you never knew To seal each little door I left ajar. If you did pause a while, then what you thought Was all a mystery in riddle kept. Resigning all to you was all I sought But I was left in silence while you slept. So thus reflecting, try to understand That your warm thoughts, too rarely then conveyed, Like sustenance denied my outstretched hand, Was all the life I wanted from my “jade”. So should you think my thoughts of you all fade Recall: my love was all yours to command. |
Additional Notes:
The Hardy poem, "She, to him. II" was sent to me by my ex-wife. I thought I should set the record straight.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2004-11-04 17:59:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
MAH:
I doubt many exes communicate in such formal but cordial style
but I enjoyed the exchange, the more so because you set it in
near-perfect rhyme and meter.
I could not locate the Hardy poem in my collections but I do not
have all his work. I especially liked the use of "jade" as I do
not often see it, as in termagant, shrew, etc.
I am not a literalist so I make no assumptions about the players
but the husband's role is more sympathetic than hers. She seems
removed, detached, unable to express her feelings.
He clearly states what he wanted from her: "Try to understand
that your warm thoughts, too rarely then conveyed, like
sustenance denied my outstretched hand."
He also mentions "But I was left in silence while you slept."
And the final line haunting: "Recall: my love was all yours
to command."
She threw away the feelings he had for her and lack of communication
betwixt them is an understatement. So whether sketched in Hardyisms
or hip words of today, the problem is the same.
Quite nicely done as are all of your poems. I have come to expect
a great deal from your talented pen and you are of great worth
at TPL.
Best wishes,
Mell-O