This Poem was Submitted By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-11-19 09:27:49 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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When Words Escape Oblivious acrobatic stirrings
wake the charge of static bolting from skin
finger painted with abstract red herrings
activated verbs illustrate chagrin
unpondered stutterings parade the ear
fine tuning receptions solve the cryptogram
letters find fruition picked clean and clear
by vultures tapping out a lip thrown sham
little fires amongst the bone spell out
signaling out misplaced second helpings
fueling thoughts with dusty layers of doubt
confusion floats upon dogged yelpings
of endless tongue holdings a taste leaving
bleached out sayings in crumbling sheaving |
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Copyright © November 2004 James Edward Schanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Carolyn Minsker On Date: 2004-12-07 07:12:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Your poems show a gift for dizzying imagery, I find them quite a-musing, not amusing, but I mean, they stir my muse. "wake the charge of static bolting from skin" truly a priceless thought. "finger painted with abstract red herrings" - I just read Shakespeare's Twelfth Night, well-described by this line of your poem. I couldn't follow the first and second of Strophe 3, alas, even though I love the idea of signal fires. I do like the dusty layers of doubt, and the dogged yelpings. And the title, made my heart sigh.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Patricia Gibson-Williams On Date: 2004-12-01 12:12:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I’d have to say that’s a very interesting play on words. When I first read the title I was thinking; that words escaped meant the usual in that you just couldn’t find the words to say. But after reading your poem I realized that it could also mean the words had escaped from your mind intent upon doing what they pleased. This was a delightfully whimsical poem. And hey if I’m way off base, blame it on this cold making me loopy. Thank you for sharing. Patti
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2004-11-28 16:09:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
James,
It sounds like a writers block to me.
It seems you know that experience very well.
'charge of static bolting from skin
finger painted with abstract red herrings [nice image of the difficulty]
activated verbs illustrate chagrin'
letters find fruition picked clean and clear
by vultures tapping out a lip thrown sham [good; vultures picking clean the carcus of fruition]
sayings in crumbling sheaving [good too; paper into the trash can]
But then again, if you wrote this you aren't blocked.
And to be so creative with 'writers block', you're a magician pulling
a rabbit out of the hat!
good job/great vocabulary
Dellena
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