This Poem was Submitted By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-12-09 07:55:46 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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The Encompassing Compass The penultimate of humility
original creative force fleshed out
crying in the straw gives tranquility
kicks and wiggles of divinity's sprout
a smile attracts a star itself tracked
to those listening the wind holds a song
calling quietude holds the note intact
invisible kiss wakes the mind to strong
vibes upon the central string made of I
in nature's chorus feel impelled to be
one of those questing through this desert dry
of meaning which quenches awing the knee
wonder how the boundless can be cuddled
a miracle coos the mind befuddled
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Copyright © December 2004 James Edward Schanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2005-01-06 23:23:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90000
These lines are lighter than the others I've read by you tonight. I'm not sure if they're really lighter or just lovelier. As I read line one I felt as though the words were lifting me. This poem changes your mind and your mood. It's so ironic that it's subject deals with encompassing that which gives us direction. This poem set me on another direction.
I actually am holding on to this one James that I might attempt a poem in this form. That's goign to be interesting. You've peaked a notion in me.
Thanks again for a soothing poem.
Latorial
This Poem was Critiqued By: Monica ONeill On Date: 2004-12-20 15:30:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
What a vocabulary!!!!
I have not seen the birth of Christ depicted in such a way. The smile being mesmerizing enought to capture a star in flight, impelling it to lead the way.
The lack of punctuation allows the mind to decide how to decifer the message. At first it seems distracting, but then again, it allows one to decide how the thoughts and feelings flow on a personal level. No one feels the same about that night. No two people got the exact same message. The interpretations are endless. By allowing each reader to decide their own break points, you have given credence to the belief that all interpretations of the Miracle have value.
I thank you for this look into the past...nice work.
Moni
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2004-12-16 21:09:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear James,
The first two stanzas had me thinking that this was touching on religion, then I decided perhaps not in reading the rest of your poem. I have to admit, you've got me wondering about this one. I couldn't quite get the gist of it - nothing against your writing - just the level of my awareness when it came to reading this.
Right now I'm just the last two words of your poem, mind befuddled - I think you have touched on originality.
Best to you.
DeniMari
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2004-12-15 19:27:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Hi James,
I have to dissect your work to understand it...
hopefully you say;
humility's creative force fleshed out/you cry bringing tranquility, bringing a touch of divinity
smile-song are an invisible kiss waking the mind to strong/love is the strongest elixer
vibes upon the central string made of I, questing meaning which brings one to their knees.
the wonder of the boundless cuddled/a miracle thats befuddling
The wonder of I is a miracle indeed.
Most enjoyable, thanks for the post.
Dellena
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