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This Poem was Submitted By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2005-01-13 11:25:39 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Dialectic Diadems

The ends of opposing means lead astray constant jawing grinds all the square pegs round to fitting resolutions as they fray pummeled logic puts on heirs with lips bound by sages once thought magic adding spice to the straining voices pitching to mix differences circumnavigating dice chances dot the landscape to quick a fix loaded questions do the bidding breathed in by the powers of passing acquaintance wishing on hopes which turns dependence spin wheels of negation become a reign tense crowns made of divergent panaceas wear thin on heads swelling with ideas

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-02-09 08:01:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.69118
Poet....I know I am so far off the track with this one but you have created for me a game room filled with all kinds of betting devices and machines.....I hear the roll of the dice, the spin of the wheels, the hands as they reach and pull in the coins as they fall into the little bins beneath and the final walk to the cashier at the end of a fun day whether one wins or loses, though the win is always the best though I hardly come away a winner.....hehehe.....good structure and word flow, images as you can see have been created for this reader by the flare of your pen....over and over it has......and I am sorry if I have turned this into something its not but that is the joy of a good writer to create for the reader something different, exciting, perhaps only they might see and feel in a way known to them.....thanks for posting and sharing this with us, be safe, God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sandee L McMullan On Date: 2005-02-05 01:34:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Title: Dialectic Diadems First is the title, interesting and voluminous in meaning (contradictions merge and crown/sovereignty or self-governing). Unique is the title and it may confuse the average reader with its meaning. I was curious as to the intellectual approach here of the narrator. The opening line addresses the title, good one, however it needs a verb to present a sequay into line two. (are/were lead astray). The phrase "pummelled logic" has nice feel when read out loud. The first stanza is hits the title and sets the poem on a good beginning. Punctuation would aid the reader in knowing where the ends of sentences are without having to guess. The read would be smoothed and help place the rhymes. The rhyming seems forced in Line 8; an inversion "to quick a fix" is awkward. Again, Line9 inversion to force the rhyme is awkward to read, messes with logical meaning. This line in particular is where punctuation might fix the problem using a period or an em-dash after bidding. This would force a pause and then breathed would begin the next thoughts easily. "loaded questions" hits the title and the reader is tugged along in the mystique of solution. "circumnavigating" is a tongue twister esp. on the first read through, not sure if it gives the most drama to the alliteration of "differences and dice". "powers of passing" good alliteration works well here. Line 11 again is not clear to me, again some rephrasing of punctuation may help. Esp. – “which turns dependence spin”. This inversion does not work for my understanding even as it connects with wheels. "crowns made of divergent panaceas" this hits the title, good one and the summation works giving closure to thoughts. I am satisfied with the read and feel the end. I think there may be a better word out there, than "swelling", I get the picture of what you mean, it just seems "ideas" could be made more accentuated with another word. I enjoyed the dawdle through the verse. . . . . regards

This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2005-02-02 18:09:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
This poem is a "Dialectic Diadem" James. I always enjoy reading your carefully and perfectly formed verses because they just read so well. They "sound" like poetry. I'm going to be honest, I have been reading this one since the beginning of the month, and I am baffled. What I do know is that it's quite a tongue twister, one line in particular, and I thought . . . even if you didn't play with these words in the poem intentionally, they lock the readers lips in so many different ways and toy with yout mind. To begin with, I think that the title is very attracting. Most all of your titles have a mood of aestheticism ringing within them. If poems were worth gold, you would be a financially rich individual because there just seems to be so much dignity put into the poems. I honestly don't know how you do it, except to say that you are very talented and very gifted. The poem begins with a provoking line: "The ends of opposing means lead astray," and after reading this I do wonder where this poem will take me. I think that this is a key line and an important attention getter or pace setter because what comes after this line is far more complex, so it is a great allusion. "constant jawing grinds all the square pegs round" This line made me think of incessant talking and someone who perhaps turn boredom into excitement or the straight into the narrow. It made me think of people, old Englishmen who were much to square for the women they wed. I guess I've read one too many English country novels (smile). This line in the poem took me back to many characters of which I've read. "pummeled logic puts on heirs with lips bound" What's fascinating still is that throughout the poem you play on the them of "dialect," and here you write about pummeling logic putting on heirs with lips sealed or closed; this is great personification used here, and the words keep up a unique poetic sound . . . I thought of someone being very modest when I read this line, someone who actually knows a lot, but doesn't speak. This reminds me also of most of the men in my family: my grandfathers, my uncles, and even my husband. I thought the following two lines in the second stanza were simply awesome: "differences circumnavigating dice" (what a picture; sometimes I'm too much a literalist) "chances dot the landscape to quick a fix" and I thought "chances dotting landscapes to "quick a fix" was the tongue twister. The last part of that line made me smile because I almost didn't read it well (smile). What follows are more great lines with brilliantly created alliterative patterns that you write so well, and this poetic device reinforces the title that you began with. "loaded questions do the bidding breathed in" I thought this was another great line. It made me think of some sort of interrogation. Jsut last week my aunt used the phrase "loaded questions." She works at a correctional institution where almost half the administration seems corrupt. It seems that all of her days are filled with these "loaded questions" that you write about that do their "bidding" breathed in. It's funny how the words of others can make a point better than the mundane ever could. You write some great lines. "crowns made of divergent panaceas/wear thin on heads swelling with ideas" What a great line with which to end something like "Dialectic Diadems" I think that you have written a "truism" in this last line, and it's so appropriate and fitting for all that comes before these lines. Crowns wearing thin "on heads swelling with ideas" This line made me think of all the men in leadership in our world, and women too. Sometimes this is what I think of them. I see this last line in so many people, George Bush is one of them. I don't know what you meant by this last line, but thank you for finishing the poem with something profound as well as provocative. This is the kind of poetry that I love, and this is the kind of poem that I have to read many times to grasp hold of what it is revealing to me. I wonder what other critiquers will say. Whatever it is, it would have to be great. Thanks again. You have written another great poem James. I enjoyed reading and critiquing it. I hope I have done it some justice. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-01-22 18:18:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92308
James, hopefully; Dialectic Crowns The art or practice of arriving at the truth by the exchange of logical arguments. Opposition, jawing, to come to a fitting resolution. crowns made of differing remedys wear thin on heads swelling with ideas peace.... Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Kelly Denise LaBeff On Date: 2005-01-15 06:57:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Sonneteer, I love the way of which this is lined as if you were in another time, furthermore, in metered form you were great - three quads and a couplet summate each ending with an every other constant rhyme. {She bows to you} In no shape, form, or fashion could I top your word play...another attribute of your pen! Such contrast, but well thought out! I especially like “heirs” in your 4th line where one would expect to read “AIRS”, but I like that you didn’t adhere to confine yourself. For ‘heirs’ goes splendid here with bound lips for a heir never allow their lips to be bound and then you went on to tie it up again when you quipped ‘crown’ in your 11th line! Though your strategy changed somehow as it should, your train of thought stayed on track and that displays amazing talent. I’m sure most will grab the dictionary while reading this verse and I even did on one word...which one? I’m not telling! {{chuckle}} Your good play on words are definitely noted: fray bound opposing constant astray resolutions means logic jawing pummeled [and even lips] square round --and those all come from the first four lines! Astonishing -especially since you continue in the same spirit on and on! And even dice and dot is just as cunning! I am wondering though, do you have a child in the 6th grade? I do and about a third of her spelling words for this week were used in your sonnet. Now, that’s eerie, is it not? I am envious of a poet well crafted enough to write a sonnet as fine as this one! Praise where praise is due and that’s all I can say except that I’m printing this out so I can share it with my husband! Thank you, you- for letting me read this jewel as it truly is magical! Kelly

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2005-01-14 13:21:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
JES: I swear I have read this before: the unique ideation is difficult to forget. The allits in the title beckon the reader. And those being led astray note the "constant jaw grinding and the square pegs round to resolations"...well spoken/written. Silencing achieved by binding mouths from speaking. James, in every one of your poems, I never know if I got it per your intentions...except once in a great while, you varably wait and explain. It's quite annoying to be asked but the most likely way we understand quickly. You gotta admit some times it feels like wading in sand/mire/fen. You display artistry in Stanza 2 with the auricular rhymes, Your are a billboard for sonnets. Your ending couplet is my favorite part which you summomed for panaceas of enlarged brain. Some woefully alive. <ell

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