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This Poem was Submitted By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2005-02-04 15:45:01 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Abstract Ambiguities

Word splatterings of perspective turning as minds spin on the edge of a black hole inhaling enlightenments drawn burning from the hat on the tea pot madness stole Descartes wondering out of existence leaving coordinates to a naked smile dueling enigmas pace out the distance then sit rodinian stoned by guile questioning the exclamation in quotes yelled by reality sliced in thin strips to be collaged on a surface with notes pleading to be hook to the morpheme drips grabs hold of thoughts by the knows with a twist of implication that comes with a fist

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2005-03-03 11:55:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James, since Stephen Hawkings is kind of a God to me, and Einstein regularly enters into my macro-cosmic dreaminess, of warped universe fabric, time/space relationship and matter/energy convergence. I liked this piece. When transferred to the writer and/or thinker of such, it takes on a surreal, if it could actually be more surreal than it is, aspect. Kind of an inference of the subatomic and quanta to reality and restiveness. Minds on the edge of a black hole, there ready to implode, but also, the black holes influence is superior to all other “powers” in the universe, so we see a helplessness, ganged to utter supremacy. Descartes existence, or any other existential philosopher- and ending with the fist, I wonder if this is the fist of imperativeness, or the fist of revolution. One cost the Catholic Church domination, the other created Friday the
th, and then there is the “augmentation”!! I guess wondering of the mind, and if hallucination is an actual bifurcated reality, is more a spiritual matter, or a mental capacity lapse of something… I write, and as I can see, you write, and the universe wins. Excellent piece.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2005-02-17 12:45:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James: Its good to see another poem by you on my list. And the sonnet form perfectly executed but must confess to some lack of understanding in certain places. I think this high level od medication has impaired my usual brain function. Some questions are never answered...my computer will not accept the apostrophe in its in my 1st word.(?) Nor change the d to f in 4th line. Nice alliterative title, nice word play throughout. You are certainly the pundit of TPL, IMO. My perspectives have not recently been changed...thats what we want from our young poets...but then I have not been spinning on the edge of a black hole. (Dek)) Another error I cannot fix. Stanza 2 is a romp of humor and creaticvity.z James, Im going to try to get this fixed after my garbled crit. Glad to see you included Descartes nude in his barrel and "sit rodinian stoned by guile" is extremely pleasing. "pleasding to be hooked to the morpheme drips" is quite clever using a figurative part of language to imply a drug drip. (Im no longer on drip but 120mg morphine daily). Your couplet renders another pun: grab hold by the knows. Excellent. You have achieved your goal of presenting abstract ambiguities, given me several smiles, but my computer is fouled up at the moment. Best wishes, Mell

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sandee L McMullan On Date: 2005-02-11 22:47:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
After reading this a couple of times it becomes very meaningful and shows intellectual approach to subject knowledge. The concept is followed through out the poem, never losing sight of the title and the purpose of its writing. A good flow of ideas and wording – truly the muse is active in this piece. Rhymes are consistent and any predictability is excused by the content of the line to be unique. imo One stumble of forced rhyme imo; this is with the word stole. This appears as verb, but could very well be changed to a noun which I think would relief the force and still keep the word stole on the end rhyme position. It means a slight rephrasing within that one line, to make the tea pot wear a stole, you know like the tea pot wears a tea cozy. Just a suggestion here, take or leave as you wish. Lots of things to like here, esp, - the spinning black hole - Descartes … existence - Rodinian stoned – superb link to the statue “the Kiss” - quotes and notes - implication of a fist – denoting strong emotion for an ending. I enjoyed this poem, even without its punctuation to guide me, the layout made its punctuation in line endings. It is very well written, one of your best I think. I like the science and psyche stuff and this has it. . . . regards

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lynda G Smith On Date: 2005-02-08 23:08:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Photonic thoughts never to escape the singularity of the mental process. I do like this metaphore James and within it there are so many possibilities. The inhaling enlightenments .... well if Stephen is proven right as he revealled in Ireland not long past, they might be able to escape after all... Apart from the offerings on this site or others like it, we as writers and poets sometimes find ourselves on the precipice of the unknown drawing inspiration from wonderlands vast and furious. I do like the poetics here with this mix of Alice and Hawkings' landscapes. It gives a rich contrast not only visually but psychologically. I think therefore I am.... And if I don't think I will no longer exist...mapping the way to processes that will puzzle and intrigue or terrorize us til the end of the month or the contest begins anew. How vulnerable are Rodin's sculptures? How vulnerable are we. There is acid in the rain that falls from time to time and it stings and eats away the heart. I thought the twist of 'rodinian stoned by guile an amazing turn of phrase. The thinker came to mind crowning the gates of Hades. I also like your use of mouth sounds if that makes sense... There is a vivid contrast in the sounds that finds echo in the images. And what is important after all... the emotive strength of these lines is made all the stronger by single syllable words... quotes, yelled, strips, notes, drips..... aggresive and brilliant, especially in the 'morpheme drips' 'Wow! Words that fall one by one to feed or drug... and you don't stop! What you do with 'knows with a twist' - that is so you! *grin* and then to conclude with strength and an almost angry gesture of challenge... You think, therefore you are... Never doubt.... A fascinating work James.... Lynda

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