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This Poem was Submitted By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2005-02-09 13:18:41 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Shakespeare Lining the Birdcage

Me thinks the winged song that will endure is seeded by a lyric bounced upon read sweetly between the feathers on the floor thou eyes feed thy throat a magical spawn come peck the danish by the caffeine pool over the soliloquies of existence is that desecration on King Lear's fool or on Coriolanus with persistence you splatter Othello with a vengeance hunched over you turn an eye to Richard or was it just some millet that went hence then cringes my soul with a pitch absurd squawking loud in Elizabethan prose hatched for the stage you perch and proudly pose

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2005-03-03 13:30:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James, this is such a splendid satirical/humorous piece that it has lightened the entire month of verse. It is definetly a top ten piece on my list, possibly,.. well I won’t mill my millet waste, on such a piece as this!! Shakespeare Lining the Birdcage – Already, I be a’smilin’ fool!! Me thinks the winged song that will endure is seeded by a lyric bounced upon – Osmosis, and the birds sing more quaintly, or desparatly because of the proximity to Shakespears charectors!! J Great! read sweetly between the feathers on the floor thou eyes feed thy throat a magical spawn – Molting and feeding, a magical ingestion of quality reading!! come peck the danish (what an excellent dualism of meaning, and you kept it small case, in case the casual reader should miss the homonyms) by the caffeine pool over the soliloquies of existence – (Danish- and the dead man’s soliloquy, no skulls a’loud) is that desecration on King Lear's fool or on Coriolanus with persistence – So you think AUFIDIUS was victorious because the bird “defecated” often enough? you splatter Othello with a vengeance – Ah, Othello, so misunderstood hunched over you turn an eye to Richard – Richard, grant the crown your ruse!! or was it just some millet that went hence then cringes my soul with a pitch absurd – I think it might be the millet, or maybe the high protein, reinforced … squawking loud in Elizabethan prose hatched for the stage you perch and proudly pose – And should you choose, (and have a bird that might) to teach some Shakespeare, there would be the Ides that march. And Excellent, enjoyable, piece not aviarice implied!!

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-02-17 14:51:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88889
I must tell you a brief story. When I was acting in "The Diary of Anne Frank" about 10 years ago (I was Mr. VanDam), in keeping with the story line we had a cat on stage owned by one of the back stage persons. At the end of the show this person said she was moving and couldn't keep the cat, and would anybody take him. WEll, I have this cat today. Okay, I really don't know what the connection is but it just came to mind. "A good newspaper, I suppose, is a nation talking to itself" (the Observer, 1961). As long as the bird was crapping on good stuff I suppose! or perhaps, "out damn spot." "O! And thereby hangs a tale". Nicely crafted sonnet. The title is great. Thanks for this.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sandee L McMullan On Date: 2005-02-14 01:46:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Title: Shakespeare Lining the Birdcage The title is very creative, adds some humor from what I know of Shakespeare. The title gives some action and enthusiasm; curious I want to read on. I see this is a format of a sonnet, having no punctuation the reader will have to guess at the drama within. End stops help to pause the reader. The use of archaic language “thou – thy – me thinks” sets the title with Shakespeare however, in my opinion it is not needed, and looks a tad too intentional having it mostly in the first stanza; excepting “hence”. Lots to like in this piece, refreshing images “lyric bounced upon”. Feathers hit the title. This is a fun read when said out loud. The narrators voice deliberate and bold; taking a determined stance to deal with the simplicity of a bird cage in the drama unfolding. I delight. I like the “pitch absurd” as the narrator banters with Shakespeare – it rings of Old English. Squawking touches the sense; I hear it. It’s a great summation with the stances of a bird in pose. I can almost feel the metaphor at the end of this piece. Enjyed; a fine read; well done. . . . . regards

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-02-10 18:06:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
James, This is really original and so cute. [clear] The bird in it's cage reads of Shakespeare off the floors lining of paper. He spills his seeds/has his food/and splatters over king lear, othello, richard.... Screeching in elizabethan prose perched proudly posed. Darling poem. You should proudly pose for your wonderful poem and perfect most excellant job. A one of your 'best' Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-02-10 03:54:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
Poet you certainly know how to write a great sonnet, using Shakesperan writing to line a bird cage is very funny you know.....good style, word flow as one might say.....the beat goes on, the images are created with the flare of your pen, most difficult style to create and allow to remain as perfect as it is........never tried to write such style personally...thanks for posting and sharing withus once more, God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2005-02-09 19:18:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Oh what a pun James, to write a great sonnet, theme using Shakesperan writing to line a bird cage. It's really harilous you know. What a great job at the style, as the beat goes on, to me it met all the requirements of a cadence, using iambic pentameter, or as Elizabeth Barret Browning very close, the pun is great, the form is great. What more can one say of one of the hardest styles to write, as they say about EBB, mighty darn close, you play with the mind. Enjoyable to me, and as cute as the devil, if the devil can be precieved to be cute, HA Ha. Nice job, enjoyable and for one really unable to write sonnets..Gr....eat!!!!! Best, Jo Morgan three quatrains, and a couplet, wonderful.

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