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This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2005-05-07 09:05:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.73077
Kenneth, I read this several times to approach it from different angles. You paint the picture of a night to recall, but one to forget. I wanted to be sure I had a handle on the passions in this verse. As I write to it, I hope that I come close to the discovery you hold within it. Last Night – Something happened, and we shall see the effects and permissions of that moment in life. I’ve been keeping last night in my pocket like a special beach stone – The night is a magical talisman, that when kept near maintains a certain life of its own, speaking to the night, and what that night meant. The reader feels it is something special, something of a “good luck” charm. Now and then I feel it My fingers tracing a story in secret Braille - I have often carried a special something in my pocket. In this case the “Braille” speaks of a story we don’t know, and yet the “thoughts and feeling” you have while rubbing the talisman are common themes, we feel we know that something special has/will occur. I’ve been tasting last night Rich and sweet like a chocolate truffle – Last night was quite powerful. It is addicting (as chocolate is), and once it gets in your mouth, you need to refresh the moment. I wondered at your choosing “truffle”, which of course is a “loved treat” but which also is “fungus” (oddly a lot of people who love them do not know this), and as I saying, you chose “truffle” when that was unnecessary for the “chocolate treat”. There is a symbolism here that relates to your last line. Don’t know if you meant the analogy or not, of a good thing that is also a parasite, but it works well in your verse. Nibbling tiny bits so it will last I struggle not to gorge – The night was “scrumptious” something that could overwhelm you if you took too much in at once. I recall a woman who ended our relationship by telling me that “I made her feel like a princess” and she thought that she would “get lost in the magic and lose her identity” if she stayed, ... but I digress (isn’t that just the most overused line in the English language... I digress... anyway).... I’ve been living last night over and over So it never will be – Kenneth, we are still not sure what happened last night, but we know it was addictive, it was scrumptious, it was overpowering, and I feel, that there is a tremendous amount of “identity” risk, to continue.. whether one of loss or gain. Excellent piece!!

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