This Poem was Submitted By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2005-04-28 16:02:32 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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A Fester of Cherry Blossoms

It was involuntary, officer,  A gut reaction to the mendacity  of a particular moment, that, and a monument’s gaze.      Lincoln himself would have done it Rising – expanding to his full height: - nineteen feet of Georgia Marble,  his stone arm grabbing the passing senator shaking and shaking him until all the deceptions in his pocket clattered against the colonnades  and scattered into the reflecting pool making impotent wish after wish    It was involuntary, officer, the spitting and the thrust finger. You see, there he was strolling along redistricting my freedoms,  bankrupting my future  de'laying all hopes for a better world  Surely Lincoln would have done the same thing  

Copyright © April 2005 Rachel F. Spinoza

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2005-05-02 19:07:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Such subtlety will not slip through the strainer through with all of TPL Republicans sift their poetry. They're gonna know! Watch your backside...they carry guns. Dem

This Poem was Critiqued By: Audrey R Donegan On Date: 2005-05-01 00:46:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.26087
What a powerful piece for our times. I applaud you. I absolutely love: 'redistricting my freedoms, bankrupting my future' - a passion in your anger Thanks so much, truely- Audrey
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rick Barnes On Date: 2005-04-30 06:23:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.33333
Rach, ...and they wonder why I love you. Lincoln would have done the same thime...love you I mean. I love the play on Delay. We are living in a time where our politics is the "politics of reaction." Sort of a "Reactionary War" being tendered...set off by...well, by a momentary glance. Something is about to happen Roni...I feel it in mah jeans. Rick
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-04-28 21:39:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.70588
Rachel: You have addressed the current political situation with intelligence, verve, amazing poetics and stunning accuracy. No one could say it better than you have here, IMO. It was involuntary, officer, A gut reaction to the mendacity of a particular moment, that, and a monument’s gaze. -- you capture the moment with unerring eye Lincoln himself would have done it Rising – expanding to his full height: - nineteen feet of Georgia Marble, -- what a sight this would be! his stone arm grabbing the passing senator shaking and shaking him until all the deceptions in his pocket clattered against the colonnades and scattered Though it seems a lot like saying, "Nice painting, Mr. Rembrandt" I have to pause here and comment. "clattered/scattered" for example, and "mendacity/moment/monument's gaze" --truly trademark Spinoza artistry. Then "grabbing/passing" as well as the hard k sounds of "shaking/clattered/colonnades" too. into the reflecting pool making impotent wish after wish I stand up and cheer! 'impotent', indeed! -- unimportant, pompous -- but you have said it better! It was involuntary, officer, the spitting and the thrust finger. -- yes! You see, there he was strolling along redistricting my freedoms, bankrupting my future de'laying all hopes for a better world Amen Surely Lincoln would have done the same thing -- how ashamed he would be of what has happened to his beloved Union Brava! Best always, Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Elaine Marie Phalen On Date: 2005-04-28 20:23:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Oh, Rachel, this is rich and rare ... NOT your typically awed DC street scene among the tourists, though!! It was involuntary, officer, ..... in media res has seldom been so well used A gut reaction to the mendacity of a particular moment, that, and a monument’s gaze. Nicely oblique way if identifying the Lincoln Memorial. I well remember being awed by its size and significance. How ironic that, beneath this icon of justice and equality, a political weasel - nay, a dozen such people - should brazenly move and breathe! The imagery that follows is delightfully detailed and very satisfying. Lincoln himself would have done it Rising – expanding to his full height: - nineteen feet of Georgia Marble, ... awe-inspiring and a bit scary (to the senator) his stone arm grabbing the passing senator shaking and shaking him until all the deceptions in his pocket ...... oh yeah!! Great metaphor here. clattered against the colonnades and scattered .... clattered/scattered: nice! into the reflecting pool making impotent wish after wish It was involuntary, officer, the spitting and the thrust finger. You see, there he was strolling along The opposing sides are clearly delineated here -- one pointing and spitting in fury, the other obliviously sauntering, wrapped in his apathy. redistricting my freedoms, ... "redistricting" is inspired!! bankrupting my future .... yes, while he waxes fat on the public's reluctant largesse de'laying all hopes for a better world ... de'laying, hmmmm. Injustice wears Tom's face ... Surely Lincoln would have done the same thing ...... indeed! He had no patience with hypocrites. This is a marvelous response to an inflammatory situation, made doubly so because of DeLay's associations with the Schiavo case as well as by accusations of familial pocket-lining. I've been less aware of these issues, since I'm not within deLay's sphere of governance, but a mockery of ethics is still a mockery, in any time and place. Your poem delivers a clear message. It's ironic, also, that an "officer" should take exception to the speaker's behavior, since he represents another aspect of the justice system. You sure know how to hit the target!! What a vivid, yet unsettling, read (unsettling, that is, if you're on the side of the sinners). Brenda
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-04-28 17:18:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.52381
Rachel, I just have to wonder which finger yee thrust![not really] I like the statement you made. No tiptoeing around it. I'll bet it was Bush sashaying by probably carrying golf gear. We've had some bad government before, bad leaders but no one outranks Bush. He's uno numo at bankrupting the US and everyone in it. Monetarily and emotionally. I don't know how he can survive with the anger and adversity against him, and he must live with that. Using Lincoln's monument alive was great thinking. The pocket deceptions [wonderful]The columns, reflecting pool/impotent wishes.. Really good work alays but this is most important! [to everybody] The title, with fester is perfect, a festering pussy mess...... Your poem lets me rant and rave with approval. Appreciate it. your absolutely right, Lincoln would have done the same..along with multi others. This is tops for motivating people to stand up and speak up for rightness. Wish I'd have written this..... My best to you, Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Helen C DOWNEY On Date: 2005-04-28 17:13:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.63889
Hi Rachel, I feel as if I am in Washington DC looking at the Lincoln memorial and all the Cherry Bloosoms are in bloom. There is the reflecting pool in which it captures all activity that surrounds her. The poem is well structured and flows unobstructed. My favorite stanza is "redistricting my freedoms, bankrupting my future de'laying all hopes for a better world" This stanza makes me think of discrimination among people. A powerful piece here. Great work! Helen
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