This Poem was Submitted By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2005-05-09 10:02:14 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!


Crested Swift

Swift bantam hummer's brawny wings, inspire all in hovering flight. Vibrating iridescence  sets lustrous example.

Copyright © May 2005 Nancy Ann Hemsworth

Additional Notes:
This is a tanka poem,( meter beat of 5,7,5,7,7 ) about one of the many miracles of nature..the hummingbird


This Poem was Critiqued By: charles r pitts On Date: 2005-06-06 00:14:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60000
thanks for the sharing. i never heard of tanka poetry. will try my hand...... -"brawny" hummbingbird's wings? -the words u put together here seem recklessly strewn with whispered reverence--and they're fun to say togetherv too.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2005-06-02 07:17:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.93103
Nancy You have given me the vibrations in your first line and how they entice the watcher in the second. The speed so fast, finishing with a well polished presentation. I really enjoy this type of work and it is so challenging. Well done again. Thomas
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-05-29 13:55:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.41935
Thought it was a cinquain at first. Nicely done. I want to write a poem on the hummingbird. We have 2 varieties here., and I have 3 feeders out. Unfortunately there are a lot of bald and golden eagles about so they are very wary and careful.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-05-15 21:29:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.72727
Hi Nancy, I am completely in awe of the Haiku and Tanka styles of poetry as they come across as big challenges to those who seek to use them. You have done an excellent job at doing so and have made optimum use of its limitations to present a poem that is replete with imagery and color (and since this about humming birds, one can almost hear the buzzing of those lightning fast wing flaps). I have seen humming birds just once in my lifetime and was amazed at these tiny and taken for granted creatures. Your poem does full justice to their unique identity and brings to the fore, the characteristics and color of their small lives. 'Swift bantam hummer's brawny wings'- well described---the strength in their tiny wings will put the strongest of us to shame. 'Vibrating iridescence' - rich language and a befitting way to allow your reader to grasp the beautiful coloration of the creature. Poems dealing with Nature are always refreshing and welcome. Thanks for this window into the under-estimated life of these little birds. Well done!!! Take Care, Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-05-12 05:24:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90909
Miracle indeed........well done poet, your talents are far and wide........true to form as you stted in your notes.....the image presented of this little bird so small in stature and so large in beauty reminds me of days mama spent on the back deck and how the hummingbird would come by and you knew it........even on a busy day with the other birds chirping away when this bird flew by and hovered near you you knew.........it is amazing how their little wings can go so fast, how they can remain perfectly still in flight......again, thank you for posting and sharing, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-05-10 15:56:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Nancy, I think this is nice. I see it flying. It is an intriguing bird to watch.It makes me feel good to view one. They are sooo precious. what is it setting an example of? [I'm not sure?] brawny wings, inspire all [I believe this count is 6/am I nuts?][brawn y is 2] Lovely tanka, of miraculous nature, miraculous everything! Let me know if I'm way off, I'm here to learn. My best, Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Audrey R Donegan On Date: 2005-05-09 16:43:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60000
Perfect structure. It is hard to imagine so much imagery in five small lines, yet you create that well. 'brawny wings', 'hovering flight', 'vibrating iridescence', 'lustrous example' -all creating a crystal clear, vibrant picture to me. It still amazes me sometimes, the power of poetry, expressing a theme so sweetly that might take others a novel to express. You definately do this here. Another inspiring and well writen piece. Thanks for posting, Audrey
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-05-09 13:35:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Ohhh, Nancy!! How did you know exactly what I was longing for? I love the way the contents of this poem exceed its limits! Last evening I watched a documentary on wolves, and in it, there was a scene with iridescent humming birds. It set up a craving I couldn't satisfy! <smile> I've got hanging baskets out with the fuschia plants they love, but so far, at least when I've been looking, no takers. (It's raining, but that should deter them.) I love this poem, from the title which immediately alerts the reader to a bird sighting. THEN your first line is as swiftly read as the flight of the bantam hummer. I love the word "brawny" in the second line, as these little guys have enormous strength. I also enjoy the fricative v's you've used in L3 & 4, not to mention the sumptuous sibilance in L1, 4 and 5, especially. The words "vibrating iridescence" seem to hover there, shimmering. I 'see' the subject of your poem. It may be that I've coalesced the last live hummer I saw with the one in the film last night --green, with bronze head -- doesn't matter -- this poem has a life of its own. It's like thinking and reading about chocolate, it simply makes me drool. Non-bird lovers might gag at what I just wrote -- what do I care! <grin> Simply wondrous. Best to you, Joanne PS Oddest coincidence, I just re-wrote a woodpecker poem which I will submit in a while. Maybe this is my 'bird' day!
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!