This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2005-05-11 05:56:00 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Bigmouth

Your word was born to bleed with others’ blood, A meat axe anvilled from your iron truth. In friendship’s name, unsheathed it friendship strikes: In truth, old friend, it is no friendship, this. What sanctity unbound your word’s restraint,  And gave it liberty to strike at will? What blindness struck your mandate, like a seer, To sear your blunted justice on my soul? Behold, I do transmute myself to air, You move through me while I remain unmoved. In sentencing, your word of truth is just: Now vanished are all those you said you loved.
Copyright © May 2005 Mark Andrew Hislop

This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2005-06-04 16:52:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
OH Mark I know that feeling so well, and have been the victum of it. Friendship indeed, abuse more like it in reality. This is so well said, you have described so elegently what this person is like and the effects they have on those around them, and alas at the end "now vanished are all tose you said you loved. Wonderfully written, I enjoyed your insight.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2005-05-17 09:01:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
A very poetic "F... you" Annealing "seer" and "sear" ... very nice. tom
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-05-12 17:47:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Mark, This is good,really good.'Betrayal, deceit, lies.Bigmouthed people are tough to deal with. Nothing is held sacred. I believe they vie for attention. Sad for them. If they only saw themselves portrayed, they would be aghast! I think we've all been bigmouths to some extent. And hopefully we try to curb it. So this is like looking in the mirror at our actions. Very good ideas and vivid images shown. Bloody, like beating them to a pulp with words. And they live friendless. You let their words/actions flow through you and gone.......unmoved....exactly the thing to do. good job. I enjoyed this, loved your verbage. [every word]Good vocabulary but not overdone. Born/blood...b's truths/sheathed/strikes/sanctity/restraint/struck/sear/seer.......lots of s' t'[hitting/striking] Give me a meat axe. Better yet, we'll get him with this poem, on the bulletin board! Sincerely, Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-05-12 05:57:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90909
Powerful poem written in sonnet style. Words spoken without the thought of harm it may carry can indeed hurt and also harm the one on the receiving end yet you are the one in control poet, you are the one that can stop the bitting words from continuing to harm you.... "A meat axe anvilled from your iron truth." Words that cut deep into one's own soul.....good structure and word flow.......makes me wonder who this person you speak of is......relative, friend, or indeed an enemy of your own heart....thanks for posting, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Audrey R Donegan On Date: 2005-05-11 20:49:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.57143
Wow, this one is packed full of anger, pain and resntment. Very well done. 'you move through me while I remain unmoved' - I must admit to being a little envious of your talent. This line is proof of just that. 'a meat axe anvilled from your iron truth.' - strong and vivid imagery, bravo! Mark, this piece is screaming with brilliance, I look forward to reading more of your work. Nicely done, Audrey
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-05-11 15:38:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mark, Well....here you are...I was beginning to wonder if you had departed, never to return! I have read this poem several times and it always leaves me with the same question...who hurt you so? Well who ever she/he is she should be ashamed. Having said that...you are true to form and have written a compelling piece that begs to be read. Your word was born to bleed with others' blood, a meat axe anvilled from your iron truth......the lash of the tongue is more devastating than a slap across the face. In this case desecrated by words In friendship's name, unscheathed it friendship strikes: in truth, old friend, it is no friendship, this...what is more heart breaking but a friend that just pretends to be a friend? What sanctity unbound your word's restraint and gave it liberty to strike at will?......What does make one strike at another.....especially one who calls themselves a friend? Jealousy Perhaps? What blindness struck your mandate, like a seer, to sear your blunted justice on my soul?....the use of seer/sear is great here...I am getting the feeling that this person may not be your lover but someone in authority whom you trusted, someone who has betrayed you. Behold, I do transmute myself to air, you move through me while I remain unmoved.....I love these lines....I know I do this...block out the hurt and build a mental wall for protection...beautifully said In sentenching, your word of truth is just: Now vanished are all those you said you loved.....whom so ever this person is I can feel respite in the last line...hopefully not only my respite but yours, as well Well written poem that has an impact on this reader..glad you are back and hope the reason you stayed away for so long is now resolved. Peace...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-05-11 09:34:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.33333
Wow this indeed is a powerful poem written I believe in sonnet style. Words can indeed hurt but there is a but here...only if you allow them to! Simple as that I know, however it does take training to vanquish them. "A meat axe anvilled from your iron truth." Wow. Those are cutting words no pun intended, but it shows me how hard and deep they must have felt (to you?). I like your play on the words "seer" and "sear." Good stuff. Good and appropriate title. Thanks.
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