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This Poem was Submitted By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2005-05-12 09:44:26 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Tiny Tragedy

Moonlight moths on taffeta wings Flimsy, fragile, fluttery things Natures' sprites in magical flight Flit to and fro throughout the night Drawn blindly to their final act A calamity, of true impact How sad; these tiny creatures plight Tragedy unfolds tonight Slain quickly Neath the back porch light

This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2005-06-04 19:51:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88235
Nancy, This is a cute poem. You know . . . I went out to my truck this morning at 9:40 am, and all of these tiny mosquitos surrounded it, and it freaked me out. I was wishing for a bug zapper, for when I opened the door, many of them flew into the truck. It was a miserable drive getting there (smile). Poetry is such a great thing because interestingly enough one can capture just about any idea and make it intetresting and good as pie. That's how much I enjoyed your poem. When I first saw the title on my list, I somehow thought it would be about some human tragedy, perhaps a child's misfortune, and I was a bit relieved when I read the poem. I think I love the second stanza more because it concentrates on their demise. In the first stanza you paint a nice picture of them (smile). The structure is great. It flows well, and the rhyme and rhythm make it a joy to read. The length causes you to read it again and again to enjoy the way this poem sounds. It's poetic, and you are truly gifted. Everybody can't write about everything. But good poets can write about anything. Well done. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2005-05-27 16:16:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Nancy, This poem is really cute. You have used a good rhyming scheme, easily comprehendable and fitting of the description you intend the reader to have. Moonlight moths on taffeta wings, a great line to start out with. There is alot of imagination put into these two verses - that bring the reader to an amusing end - the magical flight of the moth ended quickly, under the light. This was easy to read, and a pleasure also. Sincerely, DeniMari

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2005-05-27 07:07:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Nancy, A well presented poem. I like the rhyme maintained thoughout good job. You keep the reader involved by the non use of punctuation at the ends of each line. My only suggestions are make this a two stanza poem ending it with the last two lines separately and where Tragedy unfolds tonight maybe Tragedy unfolds throughout tonight. Example: Drawn blindly to their final act A calamity, of true impact How sad; these tiny creatures plight Tragedy unfolds throughout tonight Slain quickly Neath the back porch light... Just a thought. Enjoyed reading this poem. Thanks, Thomas

This Poem was Critiqued By: hello haveaniceday On Date: 2005-05-22 09:31:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Awwwww, it's true! And now you have written a poem to acknowledge the poor moths end! It is a light and flitty poem for a drama we must take for granted. Got anything for the ants we step on all day? Thanks Nancy, it's just lovely! Barb

This Poem was Critiqued By: charles r pitts On Date: 2005-05-21 11:37:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
what if moths could think as humans? assuming they would know better than to continue to fly to their deaths, what would they be saying? what would people say if faced with something similar? declare war on it? just a few of the nerdy things that get in the way of my important thinking. love the rhyme. wish more did (or do i?) excellent job of taking an everyday, common occurrence and breathing tragic life into it. scribe on! always, charlie

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-05-14 06:26:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
Oh so true Poet.......and yes it is indeed a tragedy that they must die once attracted to the light. Good structure, word flow, rhyme is just fine........the image of these tiny little moths is really beautiful poet.....taffeta wings, filmsy, fragile, fluttery things........nature's apeirwa in magical flight.........sometimes those moths get into my bedroom and flutter around the reading lamp side my bed.....I try so hard to get them and set them free before they die..........thanks for posting my friend, God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-05-13 15:36:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Nancy, I just love this poem and the imagery it conveys.....'moonlight moths on taffeta wings'...lovely flimsy, fragil, fluttery things natures' sprites in magical flight (wonderful...soft lilt which is so appealing) flit to and fro throughout the night...I have often wondered how anything so tiny can keep flying for so long before they die drawn blindly to their final act...have you ever seen Mayflies? Once they mate they die but the instinct to mate is so strong that it overwhelms any other instinct these flies may have a calamity, of true impact how sad; these tiny creatures plight...wonder what their purpose is?? To emerge, fly, die, seems useless! tragedy unfolds tonight slain quickly neath the back porch light I think what I love about this poem is the lilt it has when read aloud...your words seem to flit and fly through my mind as I read them and make me pity the poor moths. To evoke emotion in a reader is a sign of a talented writer..you have done this form me! Blessings...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-05-13 07:46:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
HI Nancy, The last time I saw a moth, it was in a cupboard shelf chewing on one of my t-shirts. Nonetheless, these creatures of the night are no less important in Nature's wide variety of gems and bring their own charm to Her store. They will be thrilled to learn of a place in your poetic creation and your mentioning of the 'tiny' tragedies that befall them. The poem is replete with vivid imagery of the moths flitting about the porch and a sense of movement and I'm not sure if it was intended but the incorporation of 'ite' sounds in your rhyme scheme seem to enhance or depict this flitting movement. If I have a suggestion to make at this time, I would change the title of the piece. I do understand that it is about their final tragedies but a title that would talk more about moths or their flitting movements. Take Care, Duane.

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