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This Poem was Submitted By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2005-05-13 06:57:51 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The Street

Don't think I'll ever understand the street what about it makes brothers get knee deep in love and trouble sworn in by fast money drama and drugs on the double education is overrated honest jobs a joke the topic of interest "whose got the next smoke" cruising and smoozing on the boulevard living ain't easy so you gotta be hard there are no friends just enemies in this game next thing you know, the feds are changing your name

This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2005-06-03 19:08:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.84615
excellent flow in this poem, it reads as rap the music of the streets you speak about here in your lines of rhyme. You have outlined the feelings and the realities of the street and brothers. One can tell by reading this that you have the insite and experience to do justice to this plight. I enjoyed reading your words, and they painted a vivid picture for me. I liked you use of alliteration here in this line "drama and drugs on the double". and the double "ough" sounds here sound so smooth and unforced "cruising and smoozing" good write!

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-06-02 21:44:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.53846
Well, I know not of what you speak although I do read a lot about it. Just an aside story... my wife recently got a job. The company is owned by Americans, and we're in Canada. Part of their dress code is that nobody is allowed to wear white sneakers because that's gang's colours! Can you believe it? We don't have gangs here, let alone street gangs. The powers that be said the rules are for everyone even though this is Canada!! Education is not a joke as you pointed out. It is the way out of the ghetto...if they'd only realize that. Your last line...what does that mean? Your poem is fast and to the point. I guess like that on the streets although I wouldn't know.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-05-17 01:20:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90909
The Street, good title for this piece that speaks about the harsh reality of life, on the streets, in perhaps a larger city then I live in...........Tully must have its problems but there are no streets for the kids to hang on, just country roads that lead to bigger places once you leave the woods...... You structured this one to take hold right from the start, the word flow brings forth the images created with the flare of the pen.........I see drugs, exchange of money for these drugs, I see children, indeed that is what they are small children beginning a life harder then they know at this young tender age....... I do not think anyone will ever understand what allows for these things to happen......jobs are there for others, let me have my stuff at your expense.........live and let live may be their motto.....who knows? Who cares to know? We all should for we all have been down a road like this before whether we partaked in it or not, we all know someone who has and the sadness of it all......in closing poet it is so true that the feds change names all the times, identities as well for it is not easy to be what is called a 'snitch' in order to be free from jail yourself.........again, you have given much food for thought........I know you live in a place that has all of your creative writing poet and it must not be easy especially raising children..........The Street is not meant for everyone and its the fine upbringing that keeps most children off such streets...........the world needs for more love and understanding though.......again, thank you for posting and sharing.....God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-05-15 16:45:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.84615
Hi Latorial, I get all but why the name change? [to a gang nickname/or such?] I understand no friends, as one must watch there back! I know of the hardness, one can't be vulnerable and exposed! It's almost how everybody must live today as in hardness for your own saftey. I wonder where we're heading? You ask all the right questions to make one think. I wonder if defining the street maybe/actions of/or actions on 'the street' whatever.....it works! The streets spilling into the world. Good job once again. Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-05-14 07:46:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
HI Latorial, It seems you're in a political and social frame of mind this month (smile). I beleive there is another poem awaiting my read- Traces of War. Once again, you've used fine poetic skill, enriched your thoughts with stark imagery and spoken straight and in no unclear terms to the conscience of the reader. I'm glad you've posted these pieces as they serve as wake-up calls and reminders that world is a large one that grows beyond the small fake ones we selfish people live in. The street must never be under-estimated and this poem says just that. There's a lot going on out there that most of us simply take for granted be it drugs, illiteracy, smuggling, etc. I was wondering.....'it makes brothers get knee deep', might allude to the problems faced by african american people in the ghetto life on the streets of america or of the gangster or biker lifestyles. Whatever be the case, the poem speaks about a truth and the issues that confront some of us. The title is apt. The Street- it gives one a sense of it being a world all on its own...which is the case. Very well written, Latorial. Take Care, Duane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-05-13 15:25:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Latorial, There is a lot of longing in this poem...longing to know why some people do what they do which only makes their life worse, longing to understand, and longing to change what can't be changed even though you did not wirte those words I still think you long to know how to change the inevitible. You speak many truths in this wiriting...in love...trouble...fast money...drama...drugs. They think educaton is overrated and jobs a joke....there are no friends just enemies....so true. I believe everyone who goes astray do see the light but I fear they see it too late in life to undo the harm they have caused to others and more importantly to themselves. I think enviorment plays a very large role, some struggle from the minute they are born to survive because of poverty, lack of education, and never feeling complete love or acceptance. So negative attention becomes the only way to get attention which some learn at a very young age. You write about some very important issues and always do it with class and a deep understanding. Sad subject but very good read. Blessings...Marilyn

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