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This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-05-18 13:44:16 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The Opposite Side Of Life

On a subtle autumn noon I rode my Arabian steed through stately Teton timber. With gingerly placed hooves we skirted impassive beaver ponds and loped across turfy meadows. The air was enhanced by a rhapsody of swaying Aspen, scampering squirrels, spruce trees, and melodic song birds. Suddenly, without flourish, an astonished silence surrounded us. I pulled the reins stopping at the edge of an errie scene. Ghostly trees stood like skeletons, skinless and frondless in whited ash. The woods had sputtered from a fanatical fire that ate all splendor with hot lashing lips of flame. The gaping gash that scarred the statuesque Mountain was nature's grisly wrath. Softly and reverently my Arabian carried me across the powdery cemetery until grass turned jade and trees wore their harvest shawl. In time sap will well up and nourish boney limbs that now blindly grope the air to breath, and saplings will peek through the forest floor seeking revival. Looking back, as we picked our way down the Mountain, I thanked God for giving me a glimpse into the opposite side of life but...without finale

Additional Notes:
This is a true story. It took place in the Teton Mountains just outside Jackson Hole, Wyoming, while on an Elk hunting trip. I left the hunting to the men and took a joy horse back ride and came upon this amazing scene. One of our TPL members asked me to write a poem about the Tetons which she longs to see but is unable. That was years ago and I am sure now that area thrives again.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2005-06-06 08:16:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87805
Marilyn, Nice how you have taken this story breaking it into stanza’s. The first and second stanza’s paint a picture of the land you are traveling with the splendor of nature. In the third your presentation actually made me pause in thought. The description of the fires destruction is wonderfully illustrated and once again a picture is painted for the reader. The next stanza you give us a little hope and birth comes back into natures cycle. Well done as always great descriptions within this piece. Thomas

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-06-03 21:41:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Very powerful, while at face value the picture painted is exact the subtle nuiances of how life renews is in your message. This brought back many wonderful memories I spent as a youth on horseback in forests, also the stark reality of how fragile all life is and the underlying strength that even the frailest "In time sap will well up and nourish boney limbs that now blindly grope the air to breath, and saplings will peek through the forest" will somehow survive. You hit all peeks of emotion for elation, to shock, sadness and reverence. Good read.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Paul R Lindenmeyer On Date: 2005-06-03 02:12:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92857
Marilyn, a wonderful vignette of creation life, death and rebirth cycles. I have been thru a forest devastated by fire in the Rocky Mtn. Ntl. Forest. It is the stuff of the Twilight Zone. You have painted an accurate picture with your "nature's grisly wrath" and "skinless and frondless in whited ash." The supplication for a final answer at the conclusion is also a nice touch. Having seen it and walked thru the devastaion, this piece was a pleasure to read. The scope of the destruction was always astounding..Thanks for the great post. Peace, Paul

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rick Barnes On Date: 2005-06-02 09:34:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn, You are right, this is all part of life. Nature does as it will. What I have trouble with is what part do we play in the scheme of things. Are we only observers? For the life of me I can't see where we fit in. We exploit nature because we can. Other animals do it as well, but there seems to be an inherent sense of grace in the way they do it. They do not ruin there own habitat or hunt for pleasure or acquire more than they need at the expense of the very environment that provides them. It is as if we don't really belong here. We are tourists. When I read this I am struck by your sensitivity. Your overview is inspiring. Your sense of calm and unity with it all is something I envy. Thank you for a breath of fresh air born out of the cycle of things. Rick

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-05-24 17:17:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi mt: OK, be prepared, I am launched!! <smile> You set the scene and take us right into it. Very energetic and fun! On a subtle autumn noon I rode my Arabian steed through stately Teton timber. With gingerly placed hooves we skirted impassive beaver ponds I love “subtle autumn” – sets the mood with the ‘uh’ sound very nicely. Nice visual – it’s easy to see the spirited Arabian high-stepping, almost dancing around the beaver ponds. and loped across turfy meadows. The air was enhanced by a rhapsody of swaying Aspen, scampering squirrels, spruce trees, and melodic song birds. Suddenly, without flourish, an astonished silence surrounded us. I pulled the reins stopping at the edge of an errie scene. Again, a luscious combination of sounds, especially with “rhapsody of swaying Aspen” -- very euphonious, as Mell would say. :) Ghostly trees stood like “skeletons, skinless and frondless in whited ash” --- Wow! I mean, really --- wow! You go, girl! This is one to savor – I’m having a hard time moving on from it. I love ghostly stuff, and you do this well. The woods had sputtered from a fanatical fire that ate all splendor with hot lashing lips of flame. <giggle> I’m not meant to giggle here, but I can’t help it. “hot lashing lips of flame” – oh, Marilyn!! The gaping gash that scarred the statuesque Mountain was nature's grisly wrath. --- Many subtleties here. This is thoroughly enjoyable in every way. Softly and reverently my Arabian carried me across the powdery cemetery until grass turned jade and trees wore their harvest shawl. Here I go again -- rhapsodizing (sp) -- sigh! The sounds of “carried me across the powdery cemetery” simply delectable In time sap will well up and nourish boney limbs that now blindly grope the air to breath, and saplings will peek through the forest -- with you here. Waiting for the sap. floor seeking revival. Looking back, as we picked our way down the Mountain, I thanked God for giving me a glimpse into the opposite side of life but...without finale Ah, the glorious conclusion. Marilyn, you had great fun with this, and let us enjoy it, let me ramble on about it exorbitantly – Thank you for the privilege! I have some horseback riding memories that this poem stimulates. And you gave us a ‘glimpse……without finale’ – how wonderful in every way!! My best always, Joanne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Troy D Skroch On Date: 2005-05-23 20:46:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn, Love the title. It kind of ties itself to this tragedy both in the death of this sacred spot and it makes me think of a mountain side. This is a poem of fine description. I was immediately drawn into it. In fact I felt as though I was riding too. On a subtle autumn noon I rode my Arabian steed through stately Teton timber. With gingerly placed hooves we skirted impassive beaver ponds What a soft, lazy autumn day. Riding through the timber. A breeze overhead. The stillness of the beaver ponds. "stately" / "gingerly" / "impassive" You pick your way along the trail in kind of a wonder of the beauty of it all. Nice word choices; nice imagery. and loped across turfy meadows. The air was enhanced by a rhapsody of swaying Aspen, scampering squirrels, spruce trees, and melodic Now you begin to move me faster. Balancing the first stanza with a movement in the second. I know I'm on my way somewhere, just don't know yet where we are going. I can smell the "turfy meadows" and feel the breeze picking up when I see the "swaying Aspen". You even parallel the movement of the "Arabian" with the alliteration of "scampering squirrels". You really let the reader feel the pulse of this poem here. song birds. Suddenly, without flourish, an astonished silence surrounded us. I pulled the reins stopping at the edge of an errie scene. I like how you wrap into this with the song birds and then stop the song "suddenly". Neat. It's brings to mind a classical music piece. The orchestra is playing their hearts out and then stops suddenly allowing us to hear the call of the violin just after the "errie" silence when first viewing an errie scene. Ghostly trees stood like skeletons, skinless and frondless in whited ash. The woods had sputtered from a fanatical fire that ate The trees burned, "skinless" , blackened bases, streaked up into a bleached white, perhaps, like the hands of lost souls reaching toward heaven. Eaten alive by a fire. Love the alliteration you use in this stanza. And I love how you keep emphasizing words throughout to tie lines and stanzas together. Very fine writing here. all splendor with hot lashing lips of flame. The gaping gash that scarred the statuesque Mountain was nature's grisly wrath. Oh, the "hot lashing lips" of that "fanatical fire". Good stuff. The "gaping gash" and "grisly wrath". Kapow! Such strong description. Softly and reverently my Arabian carried me across the powdery cemetery until grass turned jade and trees wore their harvest shawl. Here, with "harvest shawl" you give me something to commit to memory. I would tread soft through this place of destruction. It's like wow, you had your peaceful afternoon shattered in a way and enhanced in another way. In time sap will well up and nourish boney limbs that now blindly grope the air to breath, and saplings will peek through the forest What a perfect stanza; a perfect visualization of new growth. floor seeking revival. Looking back, as we picked our way down the Mountain, I thanked God for giving me a glimpse into the opposite side of life but...without finale Ah to look at the opposite side of life, but not have to stay there. Again, I like the confirmation of "revival". This is a statement on life as much as the description of a lightening strike. Who knows really. Marilyn, as a hiker, you've painted a very attractive picture here. I came across such places in Yellowstone and Glacier National Park. Both have had some major fires. I've visited the Tetons, but didn't have time to hike them. I will be going back to be sure. Perhaps even this year. Autumn must be splendid with all of the yellows and reds. Nice. To my thinking, this is one of your best pieces, at least while I've been around. It feels like a very complete journey. It involves me on many levels. I like it a lot. And "harvest shawl" I simple adore that. Thanks Marilyn, Troy

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-05-20 04:17:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80952
Hi Marilyn!! Every time I read a new poem of yours I tell you that it is one of your better ones. I'm going to say the same for this one too!! It's difficult to point out any favorite imagery here or what stood out about the pice because it stands as complete and very compelling. You have used rich poetic technique to bring to light, both beauty and tragedy. I am far from familiar with the Teton Mountains but the piece gives me a very realistic view of this gift of nature. This was craftsmanship!! Take Care, Duane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-05-19 16:35:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88889
Hi Marilyn, The eerie quite like a graveyard/no life scampering nor melodic singing of birds.... Awed by the abrupt transition....like light/to dark. The passage would give room for lots of thinking and comparing to your life in general. It's interesting how long it actually takes to restore a forest. To bring back animal life/bug life. And that's a nature fire. What about all our clear cutting. Trees reclean our air. Without them we all die. This is the opposite side of life.... Thank God for rebirth/renewal. This poem is a tribute to those beast that died in this tragic fire. I like your wording.....loping across turfy meadows [I'm riding beside you] The gaping gash that scarred the statuesque Mountain was nature's grisly wrath.[I'm sick with sorrow] Softly and reverently my Arabian carried me across the powdery cemetery [the horse knew too!] until grass turned jade and trees wore their harvest shawl. I think this is goooooood. Very earth shaking/earth awareness poem. Good going Marilyn. Hugs Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-05-18 20:18:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90000
Thank you poet for putting into words such as these this Opposite Side of Life........the title certainly does the structure and word flow justice as do the words which bring forth both the life and death of this area and once more the hope of returning life......Nature has a way of healing itself as do our bodies.......it is the Lord's way of allowing life to go on..........Beginning at noon on an autumn day you painted a picture of beauty as you mounted your Arabian steed heading through stately Teton timber......... you next describe the gentleness of this beloved friend who so carefully carries you through impassive beaver ponds and turfy meadows..........great imagery presented within these words poet...... The air was enhanced by a rhapsody of swaying Aspen, scampering squirrels, spruce trees, and melodic song birds. Again, beauty in motion and softness with the song birds.......then the eerie silence and the good sense of this fine steed to come to a stop......upon the pulling of his reigns......the scene taken in by the rider is then projected to the reader and the silence is deafening.........the fire that must have ravished this area beyond anyone's control no doubt left behind the scene you presented........I know when we come across burnt timber land here its hard to understand how such beauty can be turned into such destruction....the white ash, the dead trees, the loss of wildlife due to the lack of nature and all it brings with it......food, shelter, streams with fresh clean water for the animals to drink from..........on and on the damage is there but as you said.....life is slowly returning to this area, new life is bursting forth from some of these dead trees, from the earth which holds the pain of the loss, the thought of life, death and again life is amazing..........not to those that have faith for they know all is possible if it is in God's larger plan........ Again, thank you for sharing this with us.......I love it when someone posts places I have never seen nor will get to see for this is my way of being there through your words, your feelings, your emotions and poet they were presented quite well in this one ........as with all of your work which I look forward to finding.....God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-05-18 14:29:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.29412
Of course you know that pine cones only bear seed from a fire!? Very descriptive passages here allowing me to go along with you on the ride (unfortunately I am highly allergic to horse dander). In time sap will well up and nourish boney limbs that now blindly grope the air to breath,.....sp. breathe and saplings will peek through the forest The areas around Mt. St. Helen's is blooming again~ trees wore their harvest shawl...pure Terwilleger-ism! Good title which fits this piece. Thanks for the ride.

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