This Poem was Submitted By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-06-30 06:21:50 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Listen to the Animals The sky darkened behind the house
Near the base of Mount Tully
There was not a sound to be heard
Pretty Girl was inside her house
Snowball was hiding somewhere on the porch
Big Jake strutted right into his coup
They waited...........
Rain drops began to fall
A gentle tapping at first
Just to let you know the storm was here
In the blink of an eye the sky turned green
The winds howled bending forth limbs with such fury
Even I ran for cover
The power went out as lightening struck the transformer
Sitting high on the pole across from the house
You heard the sizzle of the impact
Saw the flash of light
Then total darkness
Reported to Mass Electric the outage
Then I went to bed.........
The afternoon came and went
Now I lit the candles
Found a few flashlights
Still darkness filled my world
It was hot, humid, no oxygen to be found.....
Called Mass Electric one more time
Indicated I was still without
All alone here in the woods of Tully
They said they were working on it
Be patient.......so I was
I waited till nine o’clock before calling again
Have you gone down cellar to check the breakers?
Lady, I can’t do stairs, no I have not.....
If I did they would find me there waiting to be rescued
To be honest she said you are the only one
Reporting an outage on your road
I will try to send the truck one more time
Little did I know no truck had been by yet
I called my son who was at work
He left to come and see if the breakers were my problem
Living so far out
The Electric crew was here working on the lines
Before my son arrived
It was the transformer across from the house
The one hit at one in the afternoon
I asked why no one else reported an outage and he laughed saying ....
Lady, you’re the only one on this line
Well, that answers that but I certainly did not feel special.......
The lights came on as my son drove into the yard.....
Praise the Lord....
Bless the men who work extra hard to help us in times of trouble
Bless our children who respond to our calls for help.
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Copyright © June 2005 Claire H. Currier
Additional Notes:
The title might not mean a thing to this poem but if you listen to the animals they certainly know when danger is approaching and a storm like yesterday they were quiet, they waited and watched as did I....
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2005-07-07 15:18:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.34667
Claire,
This is a great piece offering a message which must be heeded if we are to learn at all from Mother Earth and her creatures. Animals have an amazing ability to sense when things are up, not only in nature but also in their owners. How important it is for us to "Listen to the animals" as this poem is aptly titled. The free structure of your writing lends itself to the narrative style of this piece and kept this reader jumping from line to line in anticipation of the story's tale. (no pun intended) You have accomplished depicting the scene of animals preparing, hunkering down, for one of nature's storms and portrayed the scene with such poignancy your note was unneccessary for this reader. (however it was a nice reassurance that I read/understood the poem overall.) Thanks for sharing this with us here.
Mandie
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2005-07-06 10:16:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.95652
Hi, Claire
Interesting story - nicely told in this prose poem.
The sky darkened behind the *house [perhaps change this word as you use house again two lines down]
Near the base of Mount Tully
There was not a sound to be heard
Pretty Girl was inside her house
Snowball was hiding somewhere on the porch
Big Jake strutted right into his coup
They waited...........
Rain drops began to fall
A gentle tapping at first
Just to let you know the storm was here
In the blink of an eye the sky turned green [green? wow!}
The winds howled bending forth limbs with such fury
Even I ran for cover
The power went out as lightening struck the transformer
Sitting high on the pole across from the house
[I] heard the sizzle of the impact
Saw the flash of light
Then total darkness
Reported to Mass Electric the outage
Then I went to bed.........
The afternoon came and went
Now I lit [-the] candles
Found a few flashlights
Still darkness filled my world
It was hot, humid, no oxygen to be found.....
Called Mass Electric one more time
Indicated I was still without
All alone here in the woods of Tully
They said they were working on it
Be patient.......so I was
I waited till nine o’clock before calling again
Have you gone down cellar to check the breakers?
Lady, I can’t do stairs, no I have not.....
If I did they would find me there waiting to be rescued
To be honest she said you are the only one
Reporting an outage on your road
I will try to send the truck one more time
Little did I know no truck had been by yet
I called my son who was at work
He left to come and see if the breakers were my problem
Living so far out
The Electric crew was here working on the lines
Before my son arrived
It was the transformer across from the house
The one hit at one in the afternoon
I asked why no one else reported an outage and he laughed saying ....
Lady, you’re the only one on this line
Well, that answers that but I certainly did not feel special.......
The lights came on as my son drove into the yard.....
Praise the Lord....
Bless the men who work extra hard to help us in times of trouble
Bless our children who respond to our calls for help. {INDEED!}
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rebecca B. Whited On Date: 2005-07-01 20:51:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76923
Claire,
'Listen to the Animals' is a very appropriate title for this tale, which you so cleverly spun, allowing this reader to feel as if she had joined you in your angst while you dealt with this day, one that the animals had [by their senses] deemed doomed! LOL I love the way you wove many poetic devices into it, creating a most enjoyable read!
The sky darkened behind the house
Near the base of Mount Tully [nice imagery here...stormy skies looming/towering over Mount Tully, with you and your household at the base of it...this day was the pits, was it not?
]
There was not a sound to be heard [ah, the calm before the storm; not even your pets dared to be outside in it]
Pretty Girl was inside her house
Snowball was hiding somewhere on the porch
Big Jake strutted right into his coup
They waited...........[it is amazing how animals sense these storms, is it not? I suppose it is God's way of protecting them during fowl weather [sorry Jake! no pun intended]]
Rain drops began to fall
A gentle tapping at first [I like the imagery here...raindrops gently tapping]
Just to let you know the storm was here [gently announcing its arrival]
In the blink of an eye the sky turned green
The winds howled bending forth limbs with such fury
Even I ran for cover [I like the way you inform the reader of the fury of the storm, and the color of the sky, green, a bad omen here in the south, as it usually means a tornado is aloft]
The power went out as lightening struck the transformer
Sitting high on the pole across from the house
You heard the sizzle of the impact
Saw the flash of light
Then total darkness [this imagery is excellent, auditory and visual alike...I can just hear the transformer blowing now, sizzling with untamed electricity!]
Reported to Mass Electric the outage
Then I went to bed......... [what else to do during a storm, right? NO power, no lights, no tv, no nothing!]
The afternoon came and went
Now I lit the candles
Found a few flashlights
Still darkness filled my world [besides telling of your activities, the reader senses your anxiety, in your use of the words 'darkness filled my world']
It was hot, humid, no oxygen to be found.....[oh my, the house does seem like a sauna when the power goes out on hot summer days, does it not?]
Called Mass Electric one more time
Indicated I was still without
All alone here in the woods of Tully
They said they were working on it
Be patient.......so I was
I waited till nine o?clock before calling again [It never fails, we sometimes had to repeat call out outages in as well...you were more patient than I would have been!]
Have you gone down cellar to check the breakers?
Lady, I can?t do stairs, no I have not.....[I absolutely love this line!]
If I did they would find me there waiting to be rescued [now, I am rolling on the floor laughting! I am afraid they would find me in the cellar waiting to rescued as well...right there beside you!]
To be honest she said you are the only one
Reporting an outage on your road
I will try to send the truck one more time
Little did I know no truck had been by yet [ah, but to save public ridicule, she informs you that it is not their fault that it isn't repaired yet, and telling you that you are the 'only one' who has reported a power outage seems as if she is indicating that it is your fault in some way]
I called my son who was at work
He left to come and see if the breakers were my problem [aren't sons wonderful! Off to rescue Mama!]
Living so far out
The Electric crew was here working on the lines
Before my son arrived [no matter how inconvenienced they are, right?]
It was the transformer across from the house
The one hit at one in the afternoon
I asked why no one else reported an outage and he laughed saying ....
Lady, you?re the only one on this line
Well, that answers that but I certainly did not feel special.......[and I am sure you did not feel special at that moment! No wonder you were the only one reporting the outage! LOL]
The lights came on as my son drove into the yard.....
Praise the Lord....
Bless the men who work extra hard to help us in times of trouble [I think that your outage was not properly reported to the line crew upon your initial call, what do you think?]
Bless our children who respond to our calls for help. [AMEN!]
Claire, this has been a most enjoyable read! I am glad that you survived this scarry ordeal, and that your son came to your rescue, as did the line crew. The title of this poem was not lost on this reader; I understood it perfectly! Well done!
Later,
Beck
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-07-01 07:39:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.97674
Hi Claire,
This was an interesting narrative on a stormy day near the base of Mount Tully. You have given us very vivid images of the onset of a storm, its destructive power and of course the love of our loved ones who respond in our times of need and the electrical workmen who try their best to make life a little easier for us. I thoroughly appreciate your appreciation for the hardwork they put in.
The title was interesting and even though we do no actually hear the animals in this piece, it is very evident that silence speaks louder than words. Animals are inherently gifted at showing or giving us signs that 'things' are about to happen.
I would suggest rhyming this, Claire :-)
Thanks for sharing.
Take care,
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-06-30 17:40:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.38571
Hello Claire,
There sure is alot of poem here, where do I start. I guess, the best thing to do is to tell you I totally sympathize with you. Sounds like the "perverbial" Monday syndrom which I seem to have a lot of lately. Anyway, here goes:
The sky darkened behind the house
Near the base of Mount Tully
There was not a sound to be heard
Pretty Girl was inside her house
Snowball was hiding somewhere on the porch
Big Jake strutted right into his coup
They waited...........
Isn't it amazing how the animals are always so in tune, sad that we can be also but we tune out so much of the time. Animals always go to the places they feel the safest during stormy weather. You have discribed this beautifuly.
Rain drops began to fall
A gentle tapping at first
Just to let you know the storm was here
In the blink of an eye the sky turned green
The winds howled bending forth limbs with such fury
Even I ran for cover
Now this sounds like the type of storms we get here in the desert, they start the same way and can come up so suddenly. I love to stand out in that type of rain but don't because of the lightening.......LOL
Have you gone down cellar to check the breakers?
Lady, I can’t do stairs, no I have not.....
If I did they would find me there waiting to be rescued
To be honest she said you are the only one
Reporting an outage on your road
I will try to send the truck one more time
Little did I know no truck had been by yet
OK, now you totally have my sympathy, I just hate to be patronized. You'd already reported the transformer being hit lightening, was she not paying attention.........oh well, it seems to be the problem now with utility companies and many others, they listen, give us some line that tries to assume we are dummies and that it isn't their fault something isn't right/correct. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......LOL
The Electric crew was here working on the lines
Before my son arrived
It was the transformer across from the house
The one hit at one in the afternoon
I asked why no one else reported an outage and he laughed saying ....
Lady, you’re the only one on this line
Well, that answers that but I certainly did not feel special.......
This has to be the best though, when you are told that you are the only one on the line that comes from that transformer....and of course then knowing your son was on the way to help, very comforting.
The lights came on as my son drove into the yard.....
Praise the Lord....
Bless the men who work extra hard to help us in times of trouble
Bless our children who respond to our calls for help.
Definitely true, we should all count our blessings, big and small. Thank you for an interesting read.
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-06-30 17:36:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.36364
Wonderful, wonderful story from line to line. I couldn't wait to read the ending. I'm glad all went well.
Form and structure are good. Very eloquent in your touches on the sights seen.Perhaps just an
added touch would be to have mentioned the smells. A burning transformer certainly sets off a
horrible smell. The animals are harbingers to hurricanes, and earthquakes letting us know way
beforhand that something is forthcoming. My cat once jumped on my girl friends chest digging in
it's claws at least 15 minutes before we felt the ground tremble.
P.S.: Perhaps it would be a good thing to have your breakers moved to the main floor now?
Thanks for this delightful read.
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-06-30 15:27:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75862
Hi Claire,
What a scarey event....and you wrote about it so well that I got the feeling that it was happening to me! You are right about the animals and the birds in times of trouble. Somehow they sense that something is amiss and they grow silent, wait, and watch. I have seen this happen so often in the wide open spaces where I live. If a storm is coming, and even before humans are aware of it, the animals bunch up in a tight circle and wait and watch. The birds hide in the pines and are deathly still. Sometimes the only sound you can hear is the pines that whisper in the wind. ....'you heard the sizzle of the impact, saw the flash of light, then total darkness'...wonderful description of your plight. Your words just kept pulling me along from one phrase to the other and I was so hoping that the story had a happy ending...whew!! It did. Your last line...'bless our children who respond to our calls for help'...mean so much more than what it says. Our children are always there for us whether we are in trouble or maybe just need a visit...Praise the Lord for that. Well written story and I am happy that it has a happy ending.
Blessings....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-06-30 14:57:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
Hi Claire:
This looks like a royal treat, and that you wrote it is proof that you were
safe from the storm. It would be good if we listened to the animals as
their senses are not dulled by many of the things which preoccupy us,
and IMO their purity keeps them ‘tuned-in’ in a way that we can never
be. I love this because it gives me a glimpse of your life and of your
sensitivity to ‘all creatures’. It has great auditory imagery and I can
smell and feel the portents of the coming storm.
Pretty Girl was inside her house
Snowball was hiding somewhere on the porch
Big Jake strutted right into his coup
They waited...........
As you observed in you additional notes, animals get quiet when a storm
is approaching. It is eerie here when the birds stop chirping and the
frogs stop singing. Once before a major earthquake that happened, and
my cats were frantically running around as if they could feel the
imminence of something.
What a vivid picture of Big Jake! And from the last poem, I can really
visualize Pretty Girl, snug inside her house, and Snowball anxiously
awaiting the ‘worst case’ scenario. <smile>
Rain drops began to fall
A gentle tapping at first
Just to let you know the storm was here
In the blink of an eye the sky turned green
The winds howled bending forth limbs with such fury
Even I ran for cover
Oh! You know I just love that “gentle tapping” sound. I will fling open the windows
to hear it. But a green sky! Scary – have never seen one of those. Those bending
limbs are ominous and give us a clear picture of the ‘fury’ the wind is foretelling.
The power went out as lightening struck the transformer
Sitting high on the pole across from the house
You heard the sizzle of the impact
Saw the flash of light
WOW! Must have been quit a sight and sound! That sizzling sound and the flash,
then, darkness. Did you sleep? Or were you worried about more lightning and
fire? Someone my father knew was nearly electrocuted, repairing lines after
a storm like that one. But he recovered, having had what would now be
called a NDE or near death experience. From that time forward he could see
swirling colors around people and give them information about things in their
lives that he seemed able to ‘see’ following his shocking experience. Never
met him, but it was interesting to think about. As our brain and hearts give
electrical signals, it makes me wonder what untapped abilities could be
present in all of us. But I am getting off topic. <smile>
Do you keep a kerosene lantern? We always had at least on in the house when
I was growing up. Such lightning storms were a frequent occurrence. It was fun
then, as my mother would play her concertina and sing old love songs (one of
the beginnings of my romanticism, probably). I still know the words to many of
those love songs, BTW, and just sang one as I worked around the kitchen.
It was hot, humid, no oxygen to be found.....
Called Mass Electric one more time
Indicated I was still without
All alone here in the woods of Tully
They said they were working on it
Be patient.......so I was
I waited till nine o’clock before calling again
Smothery humid, huh? And no power, no light. Not much air.
Wow, you show us the whole spectrum of your experience here.
You make it so real I want to look outdoors and see if anything
is brewing! (It’s perfectly calm, right now, not even raining.)
Have you gone down cellar to check the breakers?
Lady, I can’t do stairs, no I have not.....
If I did they would find me there waiting to be rescued
To be honest she said you are the only one
Reporting an outage on your road
Somehow they almost made you feel it was your fault!
“Lady, you’re the only one on this line
Well, that answers that but I certainly did not feel special.......”
It certainly seems as if you had someone or something looking out after you.
It also sounds as if you didn’t realize that you were the only one on the line.
“The lights came on as my son drove into the yard.....” Quite a coincidence
that your son seemed to bring the light with him. Sonlight?
Praise the Lord....
Bless the men who work extra hard to help us in times of trouble
Bless our children who respond to our calls for help
Where would we all be without one another? The last part of this poem sounds
almost like a psalm. It is good when we have those who will be aware of our needs
for help at times like these. “All’s Well that Ends Well” as the Bard wrote. I am
so glad that you weren’t injured during this storm, and turned the experience
into grist for your creative mill.
Kudos for a well-done narrative poem! I enjoyed it as much as the one about
Snowball’s misadventure! A lot! <smile>
My best always,
Joanne
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