This Poem was Submitted By: Debbie Spicer On Date: 2005-07-01 08:37:32 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Inner Peace It is as startling as a moonbeam
Visible at high noon
It is reliable
When I stop to sense
The spiritual food it serves
I pause to take notice
The door opens and it is perfect
The response will be complete.
Life perhaps may go awry
Tumbling deep into a pool of distress
Looking at life as it once seemed
Walking on a slippery ground to insanity
An impulse settles upon me
Straightening my windblown brow
As I realize I need to put all aside
In order to fine true inner peace.
The world now seems softer
As my mind and soul slow down
Heaviness has lifted out of awareness
A faint fragrance of life soon appears
It floats into my presence like a summer mist
Moistening the dry parts of my being
Calming the tides and feeding my hunger
And yet it is still a mystery.
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Copyright © July 2005 Debbie Spicer
Additional Notes:
Dedicated to Paul
This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2005-08-07 20:45:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.84000
Debbie, Yes, inner peace is all of these things and more. Thanks for sharing your version of exactly what it has come to mean to you. I share these sentiments, and I'm sure you have helped other writers to pinpoint the moment.
Inner peace can be a moment or a lifetime or a season.
I'm sure you've picked up on the typo in the following line already:
In order to fine true inner peace (find)
Overall, I enjoyed reading this poem. It is what the title says it is, and you so poetically and eloquently say all of the words that reflect what inner peace can mean to anyone at any given moment The hardest part is simply achieving it, laying aside every weight and just achieving it. Thanks for sharing. Great job.
Latorial
www.latorialfaison.com
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-08-05 15:30:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80556
It is as startling as a moonbeam..............Well said. I've been there!
Visible at high noon
It is reliable................................because it is you
When I stop to sense
The spiritual food it serves
I pause to take notice
The door opens and it is perfect
The response will be complete. ...............not quite sure here...life is always incomplete. The tense I
think needs to change from "will" to "is now"..my only
suggestion.
Life perhaps may go awry......................you just have to recognize that it does
Tumbling deep into a pool of distress
Looking at life as it once seemed
Walking on a slippery ground to insanity
An impulse settles upon me...................realizing something can be startling
Straightening my windblown brow
As I realize I need to put all aside
In order to fine true inner peace............now this takes fortitude, and silence
The world now seems softer.....................how many months and years to come to this
As my mind and soul slow down
Heaviness has lifted out of awareness
A faint fragrance of life soon appears
It floats into my presence like a summer mist
Moistening the dry parts of my being
Calming the tides and feeding my hunger
And yet it is still a mystery.................not quite sure what you mean by that line
This reminds me of trying to teach my pts. to live in the present, and to let go of the
past...so hard to do. You it seems, appear to be on that path. Well done and allowing us to
look into and reveal who you are. Finding inner peace is a continuum...an ever ongoing process
of climbing up that spiral which can be a slippery slope indeed. Thanks for sharing. This was
well laid out in time frame with a good title.
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-07-13 16:08:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
Hi Debbie,
Inner peace...and you describe it so beautifully..in fact so much so that I can feel your calm.
It is as startling as a moonbeam
visable at high noon...what could be more startling than that? Lovely phrase and one that compells the reader to continue to find other delicious words, thoughts, and images.
life perhaps may go awry
tumbling deep into a pool of distress...these are such poignant words that express how you have wandered through an abyss for many years attempting to find yourself
walking on slippery ground to insanity...I'm sure there must have been times when you believed that and maybe even embraced it...all due to the trauma you endured and the suffering you were going through...maybe it would have been safer to chalk it up to insanity...but you have pulled yourself up and have risen above
all adversity...and now it is your turn to live!
straightening my wind blown brow...I love this line and do so wish I had thought of it!
the world now seems softer
as my mind and soul slow down...up-lifting words that encourage this reader
heaviness has lifted out of awareness
a faint fragrance of life soon appears...wonderful and perfectly written
moistening the dry parts of my being....food for the soul.....grand statement
calming the tides and feeding my hunger
and yet it is still a mystry
And now your healing begins and every day will be magical and mystifying and new. Remember the most important person to love is yourself and the rest will come naturally.
This is lovely and I am thrilled that you posted it...hope to read more of your work soon....you have been away too long!
Blessings...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-07-13 16:07:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.71429
Debbie,
With all one goes through, torment, anguish, peace,and yet it's still a mystery.
that's a good thing! It opens you up to discovery...
Seeing the world/life brand new could be wonderful!
I like this last stanza:
The world now seems softer
As my mind and soul slow down
Heaviness has lifted out of awareness
A faint fragrance of life soon appears [how sensuously put/I smell it.]
It floats into my presence like a summer mist
Moistening the dry parts of my being [like watering a dying plant!]
Calming the tides and feeding my hunger [how blessed you are!]
And yet it is still a mystery. [hooray for you! Like a child's explorations...]
Very nice job here, heartfelt, filled with hope.
I hope your new view is all you wish it to be.
yesterdays gone, today is possability.
Peace,
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-07-12 08:57:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
Hi Debbie,
In a world pregnant with torment, hate, poverty and corruption, inner peace would certainly be a rarity of sorts, an oddity. It is strange that in a life meant to be fruitful, suffering becomes a cell in the blood stream and llingers without deterrence. However, for those who hope and pray, who strive to beat the odds stacked against them, inner peace, though difficult to achieve, does become a welcome reality. Your poem, inner peace, is a piece replete with appreciation and relief at your struggle to find this blessing and harmonise with the distant world around you. You achieved inner peace, you have suffered and been tormented in your life, you know therefore, that the fruits of its existence are sweet. The title is perfect and final. I sincerely pray that this wonerful feeling lasts forever because you deserve it.
Your first verse provides a stage for the onset of inner peace. You liken it to a startling moonbeam - surprising yet gorgeous and scintillating. I found a special interest in your use of the word 'startling'. This was a good addition as it signifies the surprise factor in your discovery and it also throws a lot of light on your past. Infact, the struggles became such a pa rt and parcel of your existence that the dawn of inner peace literally startled you. All said and done, you acknowledge the new found blessing as welcome in every way.
The second verse reflects on a resolve and a confrontation with struggles. You come to terms with the fact that it is necessary to accept life's travails as impostors and that the only way forward is to shove them aside. Again, use of windblown brow is interesting. It seems that the sudden gust of inner peace unsettled some hair. Good imagery here.
The feeling sinks through, in verse 3. What was long desired rests as a prize in the seat of mind and heart. The world that wore a character of being harsh and intolerant seems to have become softer. This is also representation of harmonization between inner self and the world around. The last 5 lines of verse 3 is a perfect ending to this piece, leaving the reader with the images of turmoil being hushed or wiped away, from the floating in of mists to moisten the dry parts, calming of the tides and feeding the jaws of hunger.
The last line stands on its own in terms of its depth and what the poet wants to convey. The onset of inner peace is likened to a mystery...is it due to the wonder of medication or is it because the poet had given up on it due to the endless suffering and restlessness she has endured. What isn't a mystery is that this most sought after feeling in the world today was found and we wish that this feeling never leaves you.
Debbie, you are a warrior. One doesn't need to do battle in a battlefield to be called brave or courageous. Life itself is a battle and you have strived to attain this piece. You are a shining example to all of us who seek the very same feeling.
Thanks for sharing this emotionally driven piece!!
Take care,
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-07-08 06:21:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Thank you Poet for posting this most uplifting poem and allowing us to share in its beauty. Well structured, superb word flow, emotions and images come to life as one travels on the road you created filled with such peace to be had if one only lets go of the negativity in their life.......so often it is the road blocks we ourselves put up that stop the Lord from moving within , its called free will I guess......this piece shows us that He is there, waiting for us to reach out and take His hand and walk with Him......Faith shall sustain in the end my friend, again thank you for posting....
Would like an update of MOJO if you have one and where she might have moved to here in Massachusetts.......I was able to call her once when she was at the hospital a few years back and then I tried once at home to no avail.......please let her know I am thinking of her and that she will always be in my prayers.......I just received my power chair and I am still a prisoner waiting for two more ramps to be made here at home so I can get out and about.......Life is grand though.....fell again this week, horrible pain, had my own cruiser and ambulance to pick me up......was downtown, very embarassing if you ask me.........take care, looking forward to more of your work. God Bless and continue to bless you, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-07-05 23:58:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Debbie,
Inner Peace (Perfect fit for your work)
It is as startling as a moonbeam
Visible at high noon
It is reliable
When I stop to sense
The spiritual food it serves
I pause to take notice
The door opens and it is perfect
The response will be complete. (What perfection of security in ones inner peace, faith)
Life perhaps may go awry
Tumbling deep into a pool of distress
Looking at life as it once seemed
Walking on a slippery ground to insanity
An impulse settles upon me
Straightening my windblown brow
As I realize I need to put all aside
In order to fine true inner peace. (and how you come full circle knowing that only you can disallow the negative in order to find inner peace)
The world now seems softer
As my mind and soul slow down
Heaviness has lifted out of awareness
A faint fragrance of life soon appears
It floats into my presence like a summer mist
Moistening the dry parts of my being
Calming the tides and feeding my hunger
And yet it is still a mystery. (whether it be mediation, contemplation or prayer, when we remove ourselves from the negative and focus our thoughts on a higher plane things do seem to change, we become free of the darkness and move into light)
Debbie, this brought such a sense of lifting almost to the point of floating, lightening the burdens we face, anything and everything becomes possible when we let positive energy, a higher force take charge. Wow, this is really inspiring and uplifting. Nicely structured for an easy read with and easy comfortable flow. Thank you for sharing.
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Paul H. Roefs On Date: 2005-07-02 01:10:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dear Debbie,
Your theme is carried throughout the line of your poem and the imagery is warm and provocative. Your style is wonderful to read as your motivate the reader to participate in their minds about what you have written. If I were to choose my favorite lines, they would be the last stanza, very beautiful written that there is renewed
hope if you are willing to have faith and persever. This is the promise from God.
You have again touched me in a gentle way by this deication. The words carry far reaching depth of meaning and give hope when it is truly needed. This poem reads so smoothly that I was able introspect your thoughts as they came before me. God has blessed me in so many was, but I cherish his gift of life and the creative abilities bestowed upon me. I have had a wonderful life and I truly have no regrets Whoever, I shall continue
to creat whatever I can, for it is in the image of our creator to do this. Love, peace and joy the trilogy
of life. It is for us to gain the wisdom to make the right choices and to understand our short comings.
I am so thrilled that you dedicated this poem to me. I shall be forever in your debt and you shall always be dear to my heart. I like your poem very much, thanks. With love always, Paul
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