This Poem was Submitted By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-07-01 17:20:36 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!


Beauty in the eyes of the beholder

If I cut, shape, blow dry, curl, color, and braid my hair and perfume and rid myself of every natural body odor wearing only fashion threads, matching shoes and bag adorn myself with ribbons, lace, jewels, everywhere possible and pluck, cream, lipstick, mascara, and rouge, my face and keep thin, trimming down the calorie count and become educated, to blend into society as an asset... I'll then be baptized into the world of double standards and I'll be locked into the concept of getting approval. With elocution, tethered, poised, trained, and confident  I'll vie for your attention and acceptance. If you like me, you'll stroke me with approval. Approval being the act of liking me, because I'm 'good'! Liking is 'fondness', a smaller description of love. So actually, if I behave according to the plan, I'll be loved! I must, just follow the blueprints... 

Copyright © July 2005 Dellena Rovito


This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-08-06 15:07:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.96429
Dellena: This poem addresses the topic of personal beauty, but it also stirs thoughts in this reader’s head of ultimate beauty and what that means. As poets we contemplate the meaning or the personae representing this quality. As aptly stated, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This may be understood to mean that beauty itself is sensed subjectively by the person, and no two people are exactly alike. But your poem set me to thinking, this way: If we transform or evolve our ‘style’ of looking, then beauty will be revealed to us, and shine forth from what we see! It is a poet’s view, and artist’s view, and your poem addresses this in a subtle way. By focusing on the superficial aspect we are left wringing our metaphoric hands, wondering, “Who then, is truly beautiful! No, not I!” And then the idea begins to take shape about ‘beautification’ of our gazing, so that we may find or comprehend the hidden beauty not only of other people, but in ourselves and all that surrounds us. Our entire vision changes if we read your poem with understanding. “If I cut, shape, blow dry, curl, color, and braid my hair and perfume and rid myself of every natural body odor wearing only fashion threads, matching shoes and bag adorn myself with ribbons, lace, jewels, everywhere possible and pluck, cream, lipstick, mascara, and rouge, my face and keep thin, trimming down the calorie count and become educated, to blend into society as an asset... I'll then be baptized into the world of double standards and I'll be locked into the concept of getting approval.” When a woman has radiance, her person is filled with beauty. Cosmetics cannot create this, but it is a sense of presence. It is visible at certain times; I am sure you have seen it in others, and believe that you can see it in yourself. Sometimes a glimpse is all we will let ourselves absorb. For example, the light in an elderly person’s eyes in response to the love of a small child. The child’s expression when touching a soft, furry animal, such as a rabbit. The way a young couple glance at the ground when walking together, hand in hand, whether or not their physiognomy would fit by type in a magazine illustration. A mother’s expression as she picks up her baby – I could go on. “With elocution, tethered, poised, trained, and confident I'll vie for your attention and acceptance. If you like me, you'll stroke me with approval. Approval being the act of liking me, because I'm 'good'! Liking is 'fondness', a smaller description of love.” You’ve struck it rich in this poem, IMO, because you’ve discussed esthetic values and now lead into an awareness of love and its valuation. You have made it personal, so that it ‘feels’ personal for me as a reader. You show with irony how it is not possible to elicit other than temporary approval with structured behavior that does not reflect the inner being. “So actually, if I behave according to the plan, I'll be loved! I must, just follow the blueprints...” I think that here, splendidly, you show the inner critic, the self-criticism we subject ourselves to. The speaker says that if she follows the blueprints, she’ll be loved. That voice she hears denies her own beauty, her love of self. Shakespeare said, in Sonnet 1: But thou, contracted to thine own bright eyes, Feed’st thy lights flame with self-substantial fuel, Making a famine where abundance lies, Thyself thy foe, to thy sweet self too cruel. In summary, this is a exceptional, original poem which gives much food for thought on the nature of beauty itself, self-love and the universal yearning for the love of others. It does the work of instilling compassion in the reader, for one’s self and for others. Well done! Brava! My best always, Joanne


This Poem was Critiqued By: Rick Barnes On Date: 2005-08-02 17:33:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dellina, What a wonderfull statememnt on the meaninglessness of cultural contioning and subsequuent conditional approval. You my dear are hip. NOT COOL...FUCK COOL. You are hip. I am damn glad you are writing and that I am fortunate enough to read you. rick
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-07-14 08:34:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90909
Hi Dellena, Another deep one from you. This poem addresses self-acceptance on the one hand and the desire to 'fit in' on the other. Mirrors are as sacred as our Bibles, especially in this day and age when the 'look' or the 'attitude' is all that it takes to make or break a person. We spend a longer amount of time staring at the mirrors rather than staring at our hearts. A world that needs a touch of healing has been overcome by the need to look 'good'. Receptiveness has also been hijacked on the basis of what we 'see' ina person. Appearance qualifies a person and the heart is often lost in the background. All said and done, the need to seek approval from another and the act of approving based on certain set parameters only inhibits the freedom of the spirit and encloses it in a prison of subjugation. I'll vie for your attention and acceptance. If you like me, you'll stroke me with approval. Approval being the act of liking me, because I'm 'good'! This poem also emphasises the lengths we sometimes go through to fit the mould. We strive to get the measurements just right and as the ones seeking to accept another, we look for the fulfilment of our blueprints. With elocution, tethered, poised, trained, and confident I'll vie for your attention and acceptance. You have laid out this piece very well through your depiction of a lady doing herself up to look 'good'. The theme is carried in commendable fashion and drives the point home without a hitch. Sadly, this piece reflects a reality and there is much that we need to do to change it. Character is all that matters....but how many of us realise it. Well written, Dellena!! Take care, Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2005-07-13 14:04:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60000
Nice indictment of that sort of person! [-Beauty] in the eyes of the beholder If I [-cut,] shape, blow dry, curl, color, and braid "braid" seems sort of out of place as braiding can be quite a natural thing to do and it negates the shaping idea.] my hair and perfume and rid myself of every natural body odor wearing only fashion threads, matching shoes and bag adorn myself with ribbons, lace, jewels, everywhere possible and pluck, cream, lipstick, mascara, and rouge, my face and keep thin, trimming down the calorie count and become educated, to blend into society as an asset... what an odd motivation for education - wow I'll then be baptized [neat verb here!}into the world of double standards and I'll be locked into the concept of getting approval. yep , yep With elocution, tethered, poised, trained, and confident I'll vie for your attention and acceptance. If you like me, you'll stroke me with approval. Approval being the act of liking me, because I'm 'good'! Liking is 'fondness', a smaller description of love. if I behave according to the plan, I'll be loved! I must, just follow the blueprints... so sad - and yet so many women even in today's world think that such things are necessary - good job, dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-07-09 17:03:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Well put, and I have no disagreement here. However, you "don't" have to follow the blueprints. Who ever said you did? But it is hard to go around societies norms as you have pointed out. I know that in a lot of workplaces we (people) aren't allowed to wear perfumes or after shave for men, just a dob of pit deoderant thank you. At least those were the rules where I worked. One can save all the primping for after work can't we? As a member of the Hippie movement we did frown on those things you mention and tried to do our own thing(s), but then as years wore on we got sucked back into the mainstream. Thank goodness I don't have to "pluck and rouge, etc." Thanks for this delightful piece.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joyce P. Hale On Date: 2005-07-08 11:48:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I really enjoyed this write!!!! Maybe my senses are wrong, but my take on it is that you are saying, Yeah! Right!! You have aptly listed the repertoire and litany of many of the the celebrities, magazines and companies that promote the products of *love my looks, love me,* and after doing so, seem to have emanated the attitude of disbelief in same. <grin> Wonderful insightful write.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-07-03 16:46:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Poet you just smile that smile of yours,,,,,,,it is so beautiful and it radiates who you are...... must again agree with your thoughts though......good structure, word flow, feelings, mixed emotions and images created once more with the flare of your pen.......for me the lipstick might be added before I step into a store since I am pale but the other facial junk remains in the store..........I have watched too many try to become something they are not and in the end hurt themselves since when they clean off they do not clean up...... silly me.........I have one daughter who takes almost an hour of primping before she will go out of the house.....can't come by unless the shower has been done, the hair washed and the make up applied........but what I want to know is who is she on the inside that makes her this way? perhaps she was not given what she craved as a child, seeked more out of life, thought this is the way to achieve it......well, hard work, self made at times, and ready to give before receiving always helped me along the road of life........love though tops it and there is so many different kinds of love......... So you just keep smiling Del and you know you are loved..........you are beautiful .........God has blessed you with His special gift and you share it with all......Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-07-03 09:55:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Good Morning Dellena, This is priceless, how many times have I myself felt this way. I'm not sure if it was your intent although I think it might have been, what type of a message are we sending to our young people. It is all so true, we are judged so superficially never bothering to see beyond the outer shell. What memories you have envoked with all the primping and preparation to go out......what a relief the "hippy" days were and then back to paying attention to the outer appearance so one could work. Gee's no wonder we are all confused. Why it takes us to come to more mature years to realize those that are important are the ones who love and except us for ourselves as we truly are...even ourselves need to except us as we are......what a tongue twister that was. I do believe you get my point and you have made yours most eloquently in an almost humerous way. Your poem reminds me of Erma Bombeck who I dearly love to read, dry humor and making a point at the same time, a unique gift which you also seem to possess. Thank you for such a delightful read and don't change a thing about this work. Happy and safe journeys, Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2005-07-02 11:10:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dear Dellena, I have to tell you this poem, brought an instant smile to my face. I love your narrative, on how women feel they must primp - and starve - just to get the seal of approval from others. From this you state the absolute wonderful truth - about vanity - and what society expects from us, and the cold harsh truth is - double standards - very nicely done Dellena. I think we all should want to look our best - but not at the cost of loosing what we really are inside. How much money is wasted on products that promise beauty and eternal youth - I've got plenty of them in my vanity - yet they are all the same to me. Your second verse is all the more thought provoking - let this - me - have you see me in my poised perfection, and perhaps you'll like me this way - or perhaps not. The title is good, we all have been told, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, many times. But, why is pretty better than ugly? Due to genetics everyone looks different - isn't the heart that beats in the ugly person, just as wonderful as the heart in the pretty person? Well, enough of my goings on - very good poem. Sincerely, DeniMari
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-07-02 10:47:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Dellena, This piece is full of humor but reading between the lines I hear some discontement. But who is contented with their looks? As I read the first paragraph I wanted to yell...YES WE DO THAT...BUT WHY? All that face goo and paint and when we are through we are still just the same old person flaws and all. I have always thought if people don't like me for who I am, regardless of how I look on the outside, I never needed them as a friend anyway. And the diet thing....as long as we are healthy a few pounds here and there does not detract from our inner beauty...and our inner self is really the most important of all.....'if I behave according to the plan, I'll be loved! I must, just follow the blueprints...' But how boring would that be? A person must have laughter and excitement in their life...otherwise what is there? A beautiful face and body means nothing if you have a lackluster life. I like this piece...it addresses all that women strive for to look wonderful and receive approval. I never realized how hard we try to do this until I read your words...and now I don't know whether to laugh or cry! Blessings...Marilyn
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!