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This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-08-06 15:07:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.96429
Dellena: This poem addresses the topic of personal beauty, but it also stirs thoughts in this reader’s head of ultimate beauty and what that means. As poets we contemplate the meaning or the personae representing this quality. As aptly stated, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This may be understood to mean that beauty itself is sensed subjectively by the person, and no two people are exactly alike. But your poem set me to thinking, this way: If we transform or evolve our ‘style’ of looking, then beauty will be revealed to us, and shine forth from what we see! It is a poet’s view, and artist’s view, and your poem addresses this in a subtle way. By focusing on the superficial aspect we are left wringing our metaphoric hands, wondering, “Who then, is truly beautiful! No, not I!” And then the idea begins to take shape about ‘beautification’ of our gazing, so that we may find or comprehend the hidden beauty not only of other people, but in ourselves and all that surrounds us. Our entire vision changes if we read your poem with understanding. “If I cut, shape, blow dry, curl, color, and braid my hair and perfume and rid myself of every natural body odor wearing only fashion threads, matching shoes and bag adorn myself with ribbons, lace, jewels, everywhere possible and pluck, cream, lipstick, mascara, and rouge, my face and keep thin, trimming down the calorie count and become educated, to blend into society as an asset... I'll then be baptized into the world of double standards and I'll be locked into the concept of getting approval.” When a woman has radiance, her person is filled with beauty. Cosmetics cannot create this, but it is a sense of presence. It is visible at certain times; I am sure you have seen it in others, and believe that you can see it in yourself. Sometimes a glimpse is all we will let ourselves absorb. For example, the light in an elderly person’s eyes in response to the love of a small child. The child’s expression when touching a soft, furry animal, such as a rabbit. The way a young couple glance at the ground when walking together, hand in hand, whether or not their physiognomy would fit by type in a magazine illustration. A mother’s expression as she picks up her baby – I could go on. “With elocution, tethered, poised, trained, and confident I'll vie for your attention and acceptance. If you like me, you'll stroke me with approval. Approval being the act of liking me, because I'm 'good'! Liking is 'fondness', a smaller description of love.” You’ve struck it rich in this poem, IMO, because you’ve discussed esthetic values and now lead into an awareness of love and its valuation. You have made it personal, so that it ‘feels’ personal for me as a reader. You show with irony how it is not possible to elicit other than temporary approval with structured behavior that does not reflect the inner being. “So actually, if I behave according to the plan, I'll be loved! I must, just follow the blueprints...” I think that here, splendidly, you show the inner critic, the self-criticism we subject ourselves to. The speaker says that if she follows the blueprints, she’ll be loved. That voice she hears denies her own beauty, her love of self. Shakespeare said, in Sonnet 1: But thou, contracted to thine own bright eyes, Feed’st thy lights flame with self-substantial fuel, Making a famine where abundance lies, Thyself thy foe, to thy sweet self too cruel. In summary, this is a exceptional, original poem which gives much food for thought on the nature of beauty itself, self-love and the universal yearning for the love of others. It does the work of instilling compassion in the reader, for one’s self and for others. Well done! Brava! My best always, Joanne

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