This Poem was Submitted By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2005-07-12 14:49:25 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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A Spiritual Decision The Master knows me inside out
My thoughts, my ways, without a doubt
So why do I forget He's there
When life brings me to pain and despair
I err and stray and hide from Him
Afraid to seek Him when the way grows dim
For he proposes the narrow and the straight
In hopes that I will choose to enter His gate
It's trickery . . . this life of material things
That causes me to forget about earning my wings
That I might one day fly away from here
Above worldly moments to a lifetime so dear
Teach me daily to be small and kind
Show me Your way, a real treasure to find
Lord You know me inside and out
And yes, you love me without a doubt
But at some point, it's all up to me
To take up my cross and follow thee
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Copyright © July 2005 Latorial D. Faison
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-08-06 08:21:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.81081
Well I can understand your love for G-d. It is very evident. I am sure that even though you
may falter from time to time, you will have no problem entering his Kingdom. My skeptical side
said, "if there is one". What if it's all a joke? Thanks for letting me see this side.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-07-15 20:58:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.70588
Latorial,
What a wonderful reminder, we all go here from time to time. I will not break down your poem for it speaks for itself, streight forward, right out there, no guess work with your meanings. Your choice of words couldn't be better and bring home your point. This to me reads not just as a poem but speaks more as a prayer, that is just my take and I thank you so much for the spiritual journey you have taken me on and for sharing such intimate feelings. May your walk be filled with peace, light and truth.
Warmly,
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2005-07-13 17:41:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Dear Latorial,
I needed a good dose of spirituality today, and I thank you for posting this. I often wonder where my beliefs run off to when amidst adversity - especially now at a point in my life when I am standing at a crossroad, wondering which way to go.
Your poem has a touch of eloquence to it, and sends out hope to all who read it. Simply stated, yet boldly profound, a wisdom learned from the master himself.
I'm thinking of following this - and yes, pick up this cross and follow where ever he leads me to.
Brilliant write,
Sincerely,
DeniMari
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joyce P. Hale On Date: 2005-07-13 07:23:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.57143
Very good poem!! Takes a reader from fact, to questions, to thoughts, to lessons. The meter and wording could be improved upon in places to flow more smoothly. For one or two examples....
*For he proposes the narrow and [the] straight
In hopes that I will [choose to] enter His gate*
[these words could be dropped.]
It's trickery . . . this life of material things
That [causes me to forget] makes me forget about earning my wings
Wonderful thoughts put to words! Good work, Latorial Faison
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-07-13 02:57:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Poet.....this melts my heart as it reaches out to the Lord above.......as his little girl you know He loves you and cares deeply about you and what happens to you and He does certainly know the 'free will' He gave each of us to use......and yes, there comes a time when we all get lost in the matereal portion of this world but once you seek Him out, take Him by the hand, walk with Him for awhile, He will become the most important part of your earthly life, He will help you earn those wings that will bring you back to Him at the end of your journey and until that times comes my friend, enjoy the walk He leads you on. I so enjoyed this read very much, good structure, word flow, images, emotions, and the feeling that yes, He is here with us whether we reach out to Him or not.........He does know us inside and out.......Thank you for posting, sharing this with us.....take good care now, be safe and God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-07-12 19:04:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
HI Latorial!
His love for us wa sdeclared time and time again in the Bible culminating in the ultimate act of sacrifice for all of mankind's sins on the Cross of Calvary. He has built a home for the faithful in the heavens above and has promised eternity as an everlasting award. 'That I might one day fly away from here, Above worldly moments to a lifetime so dear'.
'Spiritual Decision' reflects on a matter of choice and making the right one. And yes, this choice might involve choosing the 'narrow and straight' over comfort but in the end, it is written that the reward would be great. You bring yourself out of hiding from Him in this piece and reaffirm your belief that His way is THE way. You drive a point home (not only to your readers but to yourself) that it's a matter of choice and the cross must be borne personally.
This is a spiritually driven piece overflowing with hope. This could be tuned to music as the rhyming couplets tend to sing in praise.
Was looking out for your pieces this month...am glad your posting!!
Take care,
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Paul R Lindenmeyer On Date: 2005-07-12 15:46:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Latorial,
any work giving witness of personal credo is wondrous. Your honest heart shines thru this sincere piece and is both welcome and soothing to this ear. Your constant usage of biblical references is apparent and well used. The wish to follow the correct path,find the "real treasure" coupled to the closing verbiage of the taking up of the cross as the price to be paid, rings of faith and resolve. Thanks for sharing such a personal spiritual work. It is always timely and of great value, this ability to be humble and thankful through our poetry. Thanks again, Peace, Paul
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