This Poem was Submitted By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2005-07-16 17:34:43 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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West of the Sun

There were valets queuing Cadillacs - Actually, they were horses, unsaddled. One sidled up to me on the edge of that  Abyss and with a soft kiss,  One night when the stars were lone, And with a Texan’s demeanor (I swear) She sized me up for dinner and drinks And I think – here salmon fail, or swim – How steep that climb!  Night never guessed. This moonscape lost shape and flew. Gods were invoked, goddesses spoke. One and one made - for a sec - too Blue.   The very color of remorse doused with bliss. Red.   The hue of life.  Might light bless that, later this. The clip-clop of shoes on the drive  Reminds like a clock that it’s five; And I’m walking with that on my mind, Straight into the sun.  Or what’ll be left When she sets.

Copyright © July 2005 Thomas Edward Wright

Additional Notes:
She knows how to ride.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2005-11-17 03:58:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
TEW I can't believe I was so ignorant an SOB as to overlook this when originally posted. I must have been too busy swimming up for some spawning myself. This deserved better. Maybe you should post it again this month. While the Titans are in town. MAH

This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2005-08-07 23:57:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.84615
I loved the last stanza of this poem Thomas. You have incorporated quite a bit of wordplay into this poem, and that's what makes it a beauty, a jewel. It flows well, reads well, and it gives the reader some great images to toy with, some great statements to toss around and think on. The last lines are provocative and bewildering, but it's poetry. Great job. Thanks for sharing. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-08-07 15:35:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.82500
I am sure she knows how to ride, and hard! Love the format. Got a good chuckle.I think you should find a camp fire, a guitar, and your hoss and start a singin'. Then head for them thar hills...cause she's a comin' after you. I never knew there was anything west of the sun. Thanks for making my day 'cause it's at an end.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-08-03 17:05:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.95833
Tom: I, too, admire the protagonist of this poem. In a different sense, of course. I especially love the line: "Gods were invoked, goddesses spoke." We never know who might sidle up to us on the edge of an abyss, do we? It almost makes the abyss worthwhile. I caught a lot of your TEWian punning here, and sense many references that are beyond my ken. Which is exactly where they should remain. Discrete and wonderful. Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2005-07-27 13:03:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Tom, This is grand! I love it. Love the music of it Your sense of rhyme, poetics and humor shine brighter then the sun in this one. jj
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-07-22 07:49:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.74074
Poet this is a beautiful, gentle read, filled with much tenderness at least from my point of view.....the structure, word flow, images created along the way......the horse with its gentle kiss.....imagine that.....I so love horses and I am so afraid to ride one for fear of falling off......health resons I guess and the fact they are a bit larger then I..........I am so glad you posted this and I am grateful for the read. Take care, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2005-07-17 16:00:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
t, A peach of a poem, post-modern all the way, some end rhymes and some interior. I don't think I've seen an opening stanza where the hero's kissed by his horse. I think the entire poem calls for the reader to unclutter the prior contents of his mind, erase biases as muh as possible, and go with the flow. Poet launches into one of his strongest features of poetry...his humor... his hallmark but in more subtle form here. Stanza 3 quite lovely, rhymed perfectly, but you have the gift of making everything appear accidental! Blue. The very color of remorse doused with bliss. Red. The hue of life. Might light bless that, later this. ...... And I'm walking with that on my mind, Straight into the sun. Or what'll be left When she sets." Hon, we all ride here. Fourth quatrain exquisite. And how I miss the aria of the clip-clop of shoes on asphalt, pavement. t., I find this warm as toast, soothing as aged wine, sad as sunset. Thanks for posting your grand and glorious poetry. Mellifluous
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2005-07-17 06:21:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76471
she knows how to ride! YES West of the Sun an' East o' the moon - sing it ! There were valets queuing Cadillacs - Actually, they were horses, unsaddled. One sidled up to me on the edge of that Abyss and with a soft kiss, It was a Palomino named King Tut. I remember that night, you wore grey, the valets wore blue One night when the stars were lone, And with a Texan’s demeanor (I swear) yeah, yeah, as long as the gun was sheathedl She sized me up for dinner and drinks And I think – here salmon fail, or swim – or fail to swim but spawn anayway How steep that climb! Night never guessed. This moonscape lost shape and flew. [great!} Gods were invoked, goddesses spoke. One and one made - for a sec - too that happens sometims - miracle that it is Blue. The very color of remorse doused with bliss. ahhhhh lovely Red. The hue of life. Might light bless that, later this. this is so wonderful The clip-clop of shoes on the drive Reminds like a clock that it’s five; And I’m walking with that on my mind, Straight into the sun. Or what’ll be left When she sets. Lots -too much to carry in one hand - and all of it shining What an amazing poem Tom!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2005-07-16 22:16:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Ho, It is exciting to be a passenger in a different cadillac - the one you're driving up Mt. Parnassus. That is perhaps the great - only? - glory of these internet poetry sites: the watching of others grow in their craft, and your growth with them. As to the poem. The meeting between my wife and I was not like that. The remark may be have nothing to do with this poem; I think it does. Almost all of your poems begin in your personal circumstance, and go out from thence. Like Wordsworth. :) Most of my poems begin on the moon, and come back to me. Like STC. Which is why the idea is not so ridiculous. Nox
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