This Poem was Submitted By: stephen g skipper On Date: 2005-08-03 16:21:35 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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The Grooms Gift As blood does flow,
so two souls merge into one.
We come to this crossroads,
from on different paths.
But we met.
Let there be no regrets,
as our love takes flight,
an exotic bird of paradise.
Something for all to wonder at!
You’re the angel that’s captured my mind.
Now I give to you my heart,
feel it pumping in your hands,
yours to do with what you will.
Lets tarry awhile,
on an idyllic isle,
white sand framed with lush green palms.
All set in a deep sapphire sea.
I wait for thee on our wedding day,
I am filled with a rush,
giving heed to a burning blush,
of an eternal summer rapture.
With a wreathed smile,
behind a girlish hand,
you see me with a woman’s eye
and believe in, our, one true love.
I pray, henceforth, from this day,
that we shall ne’er be parted.
This is our season of joy,
the start of all our tomorrows.
I love you more than life,
for today you will become my wife!
(How’s that for happy ever after)
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Copyright © August 2005 stephen g skipper
Additional Notes:
I remarried in the Domincan Republic on th 14th June 2005!
My boys were my best men and the girls were Paulas bridesmaids!
this was my wedding gift to her!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-09-02 14:20:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Stephen,
Now wouldn't every newly-wed wife hunger for their husbands to write something like this and sweep them off their feet. I've read three of your poems thus far and must conclude that you are a die-hard romantic!! Your words spring from your heart's deepest core and glow with a very deep sense of fascination for the woman of your dreams.
As blood does flow,
so two souls merge into one. ---oneness depicted through blood
We come to this crossroads, ---- crossroads as in a choice on whether to take the big step or not
from on different paths.
But we met. ----- met on the crossroads and converged into 'one'.
Let there be no regrets,
as our love takes flight,
an exotic bird of paradise.--- nice line...love compared to the flight of an exotic bird of paradise
Something for all to wonder at! ---- yup, perfect love is rare these days
You’re the angel that’s captured my mind. ----- romantic....comparing her to an angel
Now I give to you my heart,
feel it pumping in your hands, --- my favorite line, great image, original
yours to do with what you will.
Lets tarry awhile,
on an idyllic isle, ---- isle/awhile - nice slant rhyme
white sand framed with lush green palms ---- great line, good imagery...the lines are becoming a lot more fresher than their predecessors :-)
All set in a deep sapphire sea.---- love the color
I wait for thee on our wedding day,
I am filled with a rush, --- like most grooms!!
giving heed to a burning blush,
of an eternal summer rapture.--- very well written...nice alliteration in burning/blush
With a wreathed smile,
behind a girlish hand, ----- nice> girlish hand/ wreathed smile
you see me with a woman’s eye
and believe in, our, one true love.
I pray, henceforth, from this day,
that we shall ne’er be parted.
This is our season of joy,
the start of all our tomorrows.
I love you more than life,
for today you will become my wife!
(How’s that for happy ever after)
That's just fine for a happy ever after! :-)
Enjoyed this one, Stephen. Have you read it to her? I'm sure you have.
Take care,
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-08-30 12:10:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.25926
I knew from the beginning this was a wedding vow, and a great one at that. Congratulations on
your betrothel. Wow, still on your honeymoon. What more can I say except that it was a wonderful
gift. Thanks for letting us into your life.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-08-27 18:56:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.69231
Stephen,
Wow, to remarry someone and feel as you feel is special.
This women won your heart, may you never part all your life.
Wonderful gift to Paula.
Thanks for letting us share with you, your love.
No nicer compliment could a women have.
White sand/lush green: sounds like from out of a fairy tale.
Happily ever after [yes]
Congratulation
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-08-24 08:49:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
Paul:
It's a beautiful poem! Congratulations -- I wish you both much happiness.
Thank you for your additional notes, which allow us as fellow poets to
'attend' your wedding, in a sense.
This poem for your bride is luminous with your love and reverence for her.
May the future bring every happiness.
I especially love this
Now I give to you my heart,
feel it pumping in your hands,
yours to do with what you will.
Such complete surrender and trust is something that is awesome. The poem
brought tears to my eyes. It was like being at the wedding and hearing
you read this. Thank you for sharing your life with us here.
Happiness always,
Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2005-08-19 23:26:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Stephen,
I like the line, "white sand framed with lush green palms." The colors are nice, and the rhythm, / / / x / / / shows an obvious, but wonderful, metrical and rhetorical balance.
Mark
This Poem was Critiqued By: Audrey R Donegan On Date: 2005-08-13 18:43:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Stephen,
This piece lights up my life! I too recently married (July 17th 2005) and this poem hits home in the most romantic and pleasurable way.
The 5th stanza has such wonderfull imagery:
'deep sapphire sea' and 'white sand framed with lush green palms'
and the alliteration you used with 'idyllic isle' is excellent.
It also has a steady flow.
Thanks for posting and nicely done.
-Audrey
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2005-08-10 14:50:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Hi Stephen,
Your title "The Groom's Gift" is very much inviting. I was thinking what king of gift a groom is giving to his bride. My wedding was held just this year, January 7, and I was reminiscing this momentous event in my life. In your poem, your second marriage is really wonderful considering that your best men were your own sons.
As blood does flow,
so two souls merge into one. --- [so remantic, I believe in the making of husband and a wife to be one. This making is ever mysterious, the gift of God.]
Lets tarry awhile,
on an idyllic isle,
white sand framed with lush green palms.
All set in a deep sapphire sea. --- [What a great experience! So picturesque!
I love you more than life,
for today you will become my wife! -- what a lovely ending! I hope your second marriage will be more blessed!
Thanks for sharing your precious times with us!
Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2005-08-08 10:00:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Stephen, this is beautiful, and as I read the poem, I found myself hoping that something like a remarriage or a renewal was the basis of it. I'm sure your wife beamed with joy or perhaps shed some tears when these words were revealed to her.
Love is such a beautiful thing, and when we share it with someone who appreciates it, it's marvelous. I can see your love for her in every line. They are sincere and true and uninhabiting. Often men don't reveal these true feelings, but I'm glad that you did.
This was a perfect gift from a groom to a bride.
Congratulations on the nuptials. It's cute that your children could be involved in the ceremony. There should be no other way. Life can be sweet if/when we make it. Great poem. Congratulations, and here's to a Happy Ending!
Latorial
www.latorialfaison.com
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2005-08-07 23:22:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Dear Stephen,
This is a refreshing love poem, that presents itself with good structure and a nice rhyming scheme.
You have targeted true love, joy and happiness with each verse you have written. Your bride is a very lucky woman, to have found someone with a great depth of passion in their heart.
The title befitting to the event and occasion being celebrated. Your message tells us you have met, the one,
who makes your life complete - and is responsible for the elation showed within each verse.
My best to you both, for a long, and happy life together, I very much enjoyed your poem.
Sincerely,
DeniMari
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joyce P. Hale On Date: 2005-08-07 16:31:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Ah, Stephen, what a wonderful gift for a bride, words from her loved one's heart! You wax poetic here, although the term *feel it pumping in your hands* seeming faintly tainted with *gore* in my mind, but only for a playful second or two. (:D
*You’re the angel that’s captured my mind.
Now I give to you my heart,
feel it pumping in your hands,
yours to do with what you will.*
The following paints a luscious picture in my mind, and what a beautiful setting!! (The word *Lets* should be *Let's*... just a small comment, maybe a typo....)
*Lets tarry awhile,
on an idyllic isle,
white sand framed with lush green palms.
All set in a deep sapphire sea.*
This verse nicely gives credit to your woman's feelings.... (should the commas be removed in the last line? *believe in our one true love.*)
*With a wreathed smile,
behind a girlish hand,
you see me with a woman’s eye
and believe in, our, one true love.*
And the final happiness and hope for the future:
*I pray, henceforth, from this day,
that we shall ne’er be parted.
This is our season of joy,
the start of all our tomorrows.*
A fitting token of your love on a meaningful day of your lives, Stephen. Well done!!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-08-04 06:50:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
First of all Poet congratulations of your marriage......many years of happiness to the two of you.
Great love poem which I am certain was deeply appreciated by the bride........nice to have your children by your side as you two became one......
Good structure and word flow, images are so appealing and calling that one would like to be there with you as you exchange your wedding vows......what a place of beauty.........Lets tarry awhile,
on an idyllic isle,
white sand framed with lush green palms.
All set in a deep sapphire sea.
I certainly would not want to leave such a place if I were able to be there......love the sea and the white sand beach......sapphire sea, way to go.
Indeed a winner my friend, thank you for posting and sharing such a very special day with us here on the link and again, my best to all of you. God Bless, Claire
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