This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2005-09-30 08:36:51 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Twenty-Three Lines for Scheffer

(Porque una luz se levanta en el fuego de tu palabras.) Unlikely, like                   an impotent’s orgasm                   forgiveness                   the Host                   a porch                   some pillars I grasp the gate, I round the corner To Decay, its mound and stack so substantial and true. He did this: Kaisers, debased, gave gravity their knee; now It’s all one. Finding conviction in the Source, I depart from me, Where the corruption of my chorus is unceasing. I salute thee (Though neither of the Great Poles, Yet enlightened and engorged with the Holy Name) In missiles.                 With penetrating, warlike words, Some souls will discover thee: roughened In a moment that bends as if to say "We have the Antichrist." Herein it lies: that thing that splits the globe in green, That leastmost part, that clue of faceless paradise: "I sport Lorca in my back pocket."

Copyright © September 2005 Mark Andrew Hislop


This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2005-10-06 13:30:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
All the chicks were wondering what that was... I told them it was Hurricane Mark. They said "Which one? Which one?" I can't tell sometimes. You could be twins. You're certainly 'Mysterium-ish' - I wander... "that thing that splits the globe in green," is a shoe looking for a horn. all the best thomas the nano migrating back to the source


This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-10-04 13:16:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mark, Okay....I know this was written for our great sonneteer Mark S.S. the only problem that I have with it is that I understand very little of it!!....an impotent's orgasm?? I don't know if you meant that statement to be funny but I have to admit it does strike me as such. It goes without saying that you have written some memorable phrases here....I grasp the gate I round the corner to Decay...gave gravity their knee, now it's all one..I depart from me, where the corruption of my chorus is unceasing...with pentrating, warlike words, some souls will discover thee (this I understand and do think it does apply to Mark's poetry)the last two lines are great...I actually think I understand them...but who in the hell is Lorca?? Don't scold me because I do feel pretty dumb, but you can give me a 1 for this critique if you like. You must know by now that when I give a critique I like to dig in between the lines and get to the core of the piece...but I was not able to do that this time. So....don't do this to me again!! I savor your poetry and your talent but you out did yourself this time...or out did me is probably more appropriate. Sorry...but I don't love you as much today as I did yesterday (; Peace...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2005-09-30 13:28:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mark, I couldn't help laughing (e.g, "the Great Poles") - I love that one (staying in character). And in light of that, being extremely grateful you're not vicious to me. I shudder at the thought of the satirical phrase making that would have come (had you been viciously inclined) in your parody of the Scheffer register. Were it not for the Spanish tag, I would be undecided as to whether this is complimentary - because of the following. It is my lot in life to be appreciated by some of the biggest wise asses God put on this (split or unsplit) earth - I think you know that I say that smilingly and out of total affection. Plus, certain repressed incidents from my childhood leave me scarred with a sense of my worthlessness. In any event, when there is something vaguely suggesting encomia coming from either of you (wise asses, the other two know who they are), I think to myself, moriae encomium? Additionally, I have such great respect for the intellects of the three of you (wise asses) that I am forever on my guard as to whether either of you are attempting to put one over on me - which is well within the realm of possiblity. Shit, I love poetry, write my heart out with these damn things, and leave the rest in God's hands. I try. Whether some wise man (not asses . . . I have those already :) ) or fool happens to come upon my work and say, "We have the Antichrist" (I'm cracking up again you f--- bastard) - btw, THAT would definitely be a dubious commentary - or some such weighty thing . . . I can't even finish that thought. I have my boots on, feel like I'm ready to die if it were to come tomorrow, and only look to be right with my eternal God. And I repent of many of the things I have hitherto written. And I'm done sounding like Edmund Campion. Thank you. Mark
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