This Poem was Submitted By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2005-10-06 14:22:41 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Fishing for Marks, and an Herb

For I was hungry and you gave me food,  I was thirsty and you gave me drink,  a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me,  ill and you cared for me,  in prison and you visited me.                                Matt 25 Like watching you play the top part left handed. The geyser you were, me: the dripping faucet. My sinuses, my sinews, and the throat-choking fog. Slipping my hand into yours. Feeling the blood rush - thrice, and you’re out. Finding the heat. Swallowing the words. And the wet worm. And the beat of the drumming grouse. It’s for you. What I couldn’t say, I left You wriggle off the hook. They part the See. Belt the long ball in bottom of the ninth. Leave.  The moon off the hook. All astream, all for what? A dangling particle? Participle.  Tiger. Atom, Adam.  Stop your sighing. Let the earth shake its tail. How they stretch our little socks. Darn.  With the sound off, I can hear you. Without you,  Call 911. The tail of two witties. The four-minute smile. The end of thyme.

Copyright © October 2005 Thomas Edward Wright

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2005-11-03 15:23:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hello, Tom, I cannot count the # of times I've been chasing this poem with a sudden interruption I had to stop and take care of. As you know, I seldom understand all of your poems but enjoy them immensely. Poets like you and Mark just "have" your mouths and out flows "a hundred million miracles." You are probably too young to remember the musical "Flower Drum Song." You begin with a biblical quote then lay the framework of your poem in a metaphor of a baseball game. The 1st stanza seems like a paen of love to a sig other. I enjoyed the second line of the other a geyser and you a dripping faucet. Brilliant. The wet worm is left by poet to wriggle off the hook and bam! "They part the See." Love it! Then everyone's dream: hit the long ball in the bottom of the ninth. I've seen it done a million time in memorable moments that will ever be recorded. Kirby Puckett (my third star) did it wonder- fully in two world series. Leave the moon (off the hook) is so unique...why didn't I write this? Or a dangling particle. Participle." Then you really weird out on us, or are benched or sent to left field. Darn their little socks and with the sound off, you can hear wife or whoever. Last stanza finishes your title with end of thyme. Then a very touching little aside: "Without you, Call 911." The comes the tale of two witties... has to be you and Mark. I could do a four-minute smile, sweetheart, but walking is out. JUST WAIT TILL I RECOVER. Poets at TPL do not appreciate your work sufficiently, nor on a broad spectrum. As I tell Mark, you need to recall the 8th grade level of reading of adults, concluded after a national survey. Don't know if I came close with this one. Oh my star: please reply as there are only a few days for responses. Brilliant as always and especially when you spewed word play all over the room. Take care. Mell

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2005-11-03 06:00:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
TEW What a can of worms. Pity. Apparently worms don't eat thyme. "Tale of two witties": you don't buy their garbage, do you? You deserve better friends. MAH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Terry A On Date: 2005-11-02 23:28:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Imagery is superb. If I would venture anything, somehow its the accessibility to meaning... as though written in a code of images, though composed to someone who might have the means to decipher...where ever I pick out a meaning...I'm not sure, for sure. Even Dylan Thomas gives more hints then you do, but then, it took me awhile to be able to truly appreciate his poems for their detailed richness. So...maybe it's just me. Hope you stick around. The link is in need of a better future. Terry
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2005-10-18 09:18:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
parsley rosemary and worms - love it - will love it to the end of thyme - the moon rang even though its off the hook anyway, its always for you
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-10-10 21:43:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Tom! You make me laugh! And that's not easy. I am cynical, much more so than I appear. A tale of two witties! Ha! Why? Were you both equally witty, or twitty? I have been accused, and rightly so, of being twitty. It's not something I'm proud of, but it is, on occasion, unavoidable. Two cc's make for a very nice occasion at times, BTW. Depending. Up-ending. Take care, Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-10-10 15:26:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Tom, When I read your first stanza my little heart went pitter-pat...this is going to be a beautiful piece about love...or lack of it...and all that stuff. And the first and second stanza were just that to me... watching you play the top part left handed (I'm thinking piano and this is not easy to do)..the guyser you the dripping heart feels sad here...what did she do to make you feel like a drip? ...'slipping my hand into yours, feeling the blood rush'..the romantic side of me loves this!...'finding the heat, swallowing the words' I'm getting a little want her but she doesn't know it or return the passion? And then we have a wet worm and a drumming grouse and I want to know where our lovers went. Okay...their back...'it's for you what I couldn't say I left you wriggle off the hook.' Then we have some very clever word play which I find fasinating even if I'm not sure what you are thinking and now I begin to feel dumb because I can't get inside your head....'without you, call 911' I get that and even know how that feels...don't laugh...I do know! Your writing never ceases to amaze me, charm me, intrigue me, and confuse me! But don't that you are back don't go away again...I can't bear the thought of not being challanged by your poems! So there. Peace...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Elaine Marie Phalen On Date: 2005-10-07 10:31:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
The wordplay alone is worth a dozen rereads!! Baseball imagery, fishing, worms and drums. A left ... (off the ) ... hook, a parted (holy?) See and even a Tiger who could either play golf or burn bright at the end of the course. Reading this is like listening to Dali -- while talking to Santiago -- in a dream. The Fisherman waggles his bait and enjoys the green silence. He's really just marking thyme, uh, time. Or Mark in time. I don't think I can interpret this accurately without a drink but hey, the words flow delightfully with a glottal rumble that tickles my palate. You're a class act, Tom. Brenda
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