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Additional Notes:
For my six year old Alanah!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-12-04 20:32:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.96875
Steve: Title: Wishes (for Alanah) This is lovely! No doubt your daughter delights in it, and it will be a family tradition to cherish. I love the way it begins, and can picture a father reading it to his children, his eyes twinkling, theirs wide and hopeful. I really like the way stanza one takes the reader or listener, more likely, in imagination “over/down/up/down” so that a dizzying sense of expectancy is given. Of course, personally, down by the sea is where I’d want to go if I were a child or adult listening. <smile> Children and grown-ups too love repetition – the effect of stanza 2’s repeated “some” is to spellbind the listener, who has already been up and down and now mesmerized by the repeated sounds. Each one reveals what is in a child’s heart Post boxes filling with a deluge of mail Postmen delivering in snow, wind and hail Across bleak tundra to the “Palace of Ice” All to be read by an old man, who is very nice And your rhymes are charmingly done, with whimsical imagery, the “Palace of Ice” and the old man, “who is very nice.” A rather understated Father Christmas or St Nick. One letter to this pile that one to another He calls for his helpers with the shout “come my brothers” – a warm atmosphere “Each one reveals what is in a child’s heart” – WONDERFUL! Who wouldn’t smile at “Gnarled goblins, elegant elves and super quick sprites”— simply delightful. “Let’s hurry and scurry, no time to stop” Presents need to be ready for a dark winter’s drop Reindeer are waiting for their hooves to take flight Fulfilling dreams across the world this night Every child anticipates this picture, whether belief in Santa Claus is part of their heritage or not – all want to believe in a magical being who knows each one’s heart. Sleigh bells softly ringing Pole star shining bright There is a touch of magic Whenever St Nicks about! The Pole star seems just the right touch. The mythic origins of this are from the Nordic tradition. The North Star was considered sacred, since all other stars revolved around its fixed point. They associated this "Pole Star" with the World Tree and the central axis of the universe. The top of the World Tree touched the North Star, and the spirit of the shaman climbed the metaphorical tree, thereby passing into the realm of the gods. This is the meaning of the star on top of the modern Christmas tree, and also the reason that Santa makes his home at the North Pole according to some. In our modern times, we usually associate the star with the Christ. So write your letters carefully because Wishes can come true! You close this poem with this wonderful affirmation from which we might all benefit. Wishes, indeed, can come true. We tend to draw to us the things that we desire, by our thoughts and actions. It’s a caveat, to be sure, to be careful what one wishes for, to think, or write our ‘letters’ carefully, as we may receive our heart’s desire and find, later, that it wasn’t what we’d bargained for. I think that the message is subtle but very real, and charmingly delivered in your delightful poem! Bravo! Best wishes for a merry, peaceful Christmas! Joanne

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