To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!
Wishes (for Alanah) From over the hills To down in the valleys. From up in the mountains To down by the sea. Letters are written In crayon, pencil and felt-tip pen Some are neat others are messy Some are long others are short Some ask for riches others for health Some are from near others from afar Each one reveals what is in a child’s heart Post boxes filling with a deluge of mail Postmen delivering in snow, wind and hail Across bleak tundra to the “Palace of Ice” All to be read by an old man, who is very nice One letter to this pile that one to another He calls for his helpers with the shout “ come my brothers” Gnarled goblins, elegant elves and super quick sprites Who all work together to produce childish delights “Let’s hurry and scurry, no time to stop” Presents need to be ready for a dark winter’s drop Reindeer are waiting for their hooves to take flight Fulfilling dreams across the world this night Sleigh bells softly ringing Pole star shining bright There is a touch of magic Whenever St Nicks about! So write your letters carefully because Wishes can come true! |
Additional Notes:
For my six year old Alanah!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-12-04 20:32:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.96875
Steve:
Title: Wishes (for Alanah)
This is lovely! No doubt your daughter delights in it, and it will be a family
tradition to cherish. I love the way it begins, and can picture a father reading
it to his children, his eyes twinkling, theirs wide and hopeful.
I really like the way stanza one takes the reader or listener, more likely,
in imagination “over/down/up/down” so that a dizzying sense of
expectancy is given. Of course, personally, down by the sea is where
I’d want to go if I were a child or adult listening. <smile>
Children and grown-ups too love repetition – the effect of stanza 2’s
repeated “some” is to spellbind the listener, who has already been
up and down and now mesmerized by the repeated sounds.
Each one reveals what is in a child’s heart
Post boxes filling with a deluge of mail
Postmen delivering in snow, wind and hail
Across bleak tundra to the “Palace of Ice”
All to be read by an old man, who is very nice
And your rhymes are charmingly done, with whimsical imagery, the “Palace of Ice”
and the old man, “who is very nice.” A rather understated Father Christmas or St Nick.
One letter to this pile that one to another
He calls for his helpers with the shout “come my brothers” – a warm atmosphere
“Each one reveals what is in a child’s heart” – WONDERFUL!
Who wouldn’t smile at “Gnarled goblins, elegant elves and super quick sprites”—
simply delightful.
“Let’s hurry and scurry, no time to stop”
Presents need to be ready for a dark winter’s drop
Reindeer are waiting for their hooves to take flight
Fulfilling dreams across the world this night
Every child anticipates this picture, whether belief in Santa Claus is part of
their heritage or not – all want to believe in a magical being who knows each
one’s heart.
Sleigh bells softly ringing
Pole star shining bright
There is a touch of magic
Whenever St Nicks about!
The Pole star seems just the right touch. The mythic origins of this are from the Nordic
tradition. The North Star was considered sacred, since all other stars revolved around
its fixed point. They associated this "Pole Star" with the World Tree and the central axis
of the universe. The top of the World Tree touched the North Star, and the spirit of the
shaman climbed the metaphorical tree, thereby passing into the realm of the gods. This
is the meaning of the star on top of the modern Christmas tree, and also the reason that
Santa makes his home at the North Pole according to some. In our modern times, we usually
associate the star with the Christ.
So write your letters carefully because
Wishes can come true!
You close this poem with this wonderful affirmation from which we might all benefit.
Wishes, indeed, can come true. We tend to draw to us the things that we desire, by
our thoughts and actions. It’s a caveat, to be sure, to be careful what one wishes for,
to think, or write our ‘letters’ carefully, as we may receive our heart’s desire and find,
later, that it wasn’t what we’d bargained for. I think that the message is subtle but
very real, and charmingly delivered in your delightful poem! Bravo!
Best wishes for a merry, peaceful Christmas!
Joanne