This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2005-11-18 07:38:49 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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New Bedlam

Rejected by the scrapheap: here he is, my Frankenstein who, in that word, appears as bodily as real. He read that what is written here’s not life  and saw himself, but more and less substantial than that.  Just like the word that flicks the switch that lights the words for dungeon bars: it’s on,  but does he feel the word for better or for worse? It’s clear his dungeon locks upon another’s word,  whose other words have thrown away the key.  So now he sees the words that are the bars of this New Bedlam: Frank was made by these - all gutted, spliced, and tissuey with former human life - to follow no tradition but the monstrous and the pure. With all these monstrous words, these feeble words, these words in here for bending bars of words out there, these words that are the bondage of the earth,  without compelling reason, and without, much finer still, one word of pity, he makes inhuman strain  to find the pristine word to part these bars for long enough for humans to pass through  and leave this wordy Bedlam far behind.

Copyright © November 2005 Mark Andrew Hislop

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2005-12-01 14:45:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mark, Your poem starts out in a tiny cell and ends up all over the world. You'd better watch out, I think I see some very stringy drippings over there in the corner and definately hear sirens, signaling that very soon the word police will be cordoning off this area. Sorry , but I guess you can tell that I kinda get into this one. Maybe Frank would be happier if he finds the word switch that will change his name to Jake or Drew. I hear those are way more popular words that might be even bigger switch flippers. But that's just a suggestion OK, I'm sorry again because I can't seem to give you a serious comment. But I did enjoy this way of saying the whole world is crazy and words are what it's all about. BTW, tissuey? ewwww Every one seems to be clamoring about wanting more critiques, so I thought I would teach them a lesson. One of those better be careful what you ask for kind of things. lololol Thanks for posting I enjoed this one! My Best, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2005-11-24 21:27:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.25000
Sesame.
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-11-20 20:09:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mark, Frankenstien and bedlam in the same poem...or is one synonymous with the other? When I was about 6 yrs old my mother let me go with my cousin, 3 yrs my elder, to the movies to see Frankenstien. I was so terrified that I watched the entire movie through the button hole of my coat! Now don't go spreading that around..I was just a little kid! Even though this poem made me think hard I found myself being fascinated by it..your word choices are clever and some are just down right goulish! So now he sees the words that are the bars........... of this New Bedlam: Frank was made by these -.....................these lines for example..chilling..even tho all gutted, spliced, and tissuey with former human life -.........I know that your intent is not to write a chilling poem. I hate to even surmise the meaning of this piece because more often than not I am wrong! However, this poem gives me the sense that you are speaking of your own demons here. In every stanza you write the word...'word' or 'words' which is your underlying theme. and saw himself, but more and less substantial than that. Just like the word that flicks the switch that lights the words for dungeon bars: it’s on, but does he feel the word for better or for worse?.......in my humble opinion these two stanzas probably It’s clear his dungeon locks upon another’s word, .......give the most insight into the meaning of this poem. whose other words have thrown away the key. This is a fine poem...it is profound and at times difficult to dig between the lines (which as you know is my favorite way to critique) but I enjoyed it every time I read and reread it! lova ya....Mazza
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-11-19 10:32:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.69231
Strange that I should write a poem along sort of similar lines. Bedlam. I never knew of the place until I practiced psychiatry and it was mentioned by an Irish Psychiatrist. Who wrote "these words shall set you free?" No, I think it was the Truth shall set you free. Doesn't matter. No mention of bondage there. I think you are being too hard on yourself if this is in some way autobiographical. I think You DO feel the word for better or worse 'cause if you didn't...then you wouldn't write...RIGHT? I think you've already left "this wordy Bedlam far behind". Take care and keep on writing and leaving and...well you get the idea don't you?
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2005-11-18 10:56:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.40000
MAH, This is a grand poem. I could print this out and think about it for hours. Perhaps I'll do that. I thought of writing a bullshit kinda critique like "Hemingway had no brother," but I'm tired of bullshit. This is a deep, fascinating poem. Prithee, don't go the Tom Wright way of critiquing. I mean, however you critique, I'll still love ya (like TEW), but . . . ggggeeeeezzzzzz. I also thought about chewing on this and writing a really splendid critque about a week hence. But, like thee, I'm a lazy SOB, and I'll take the quick 4 point option. Having an MAH poem available to meet the quota makes it easy. And I know that was behind your "Hemingway brother" bit, in part. Two (too) lazy buggers. But still. MSS
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