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This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2005-12-10 07:49:17 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Pretzel

pretzel should be a Yiddish word for the first apprehension of a love that can’t be untangled without being shattered in a world without taste for pretzels, generally & I just swallowed a pretzel whole & let it uncoil through my cells where the body exactly remembers it whole with an oddness that is tangled right up with being me & its salt emerges squeezed out under human acts through my pores

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-01-03 18:06:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.95000
Mark, I agree totally with your sentiments on love and "pretzel", what a unique way of looking at the complexities of love, relationships and all that goes hand and hand with them. I won't expound, you know your weakness and strong points in this write, I enjoyed. Thanks. Best always, Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-12-21 15:52:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mark, We are what we eat, Mr. Pretzel Man. I love the idea of love tangled into you and is you! Very original thinking. Hopefuly only a touch will be left of the pretzel after it moves through. Like a touch of the love flu! Great job/enjoyed this! Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2005-12-12 07:56:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Here you give the reader in the first stanza a lot to hold unto the concept you send by giving the picture of a pretzel, impossible to unravel unless broken. That is a strong concept. Now more depth is given in the second stanza showing the softning of the pretzel but it is difficult for me to see it uncoil for for the unit is one unless broken? Now in the last stanza you you make the reader think leaning to the right side where one might think it is have of the love made by two. I also see a physical relationship as you complete this stanza. This is what this reader saw and this one forces the reader to focus on the subject and to come up with their own understanding. I liked this one for it was presented well, had depth, and made the reader ponder. Thanks for sharing. By the way, I agree with you position after thinking about it. That is how this site use to be, I still say what I feel but tend to try and not be negative. Before poeple rang you through the ringer, now people to not critique any poets that they think might give them a score of less than 9 or sometimes 10. I will probably read everyone this month with no exceptions. Thanks for bringing me back to something I enjoy doing reading and telling the writer what I see. Thanks. Many months since I have been here have to get back more often to see if it continues it changing.

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-12-10 17:15:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Do you know the Yiddish word for pretzel is pretzel. And why wouldn't anyone like pretzels esp. the NY kind that one buys from a street vendor? Nothing like it in the world. Maybe you need some smoked meat on latkes on a bagel to go along with that. Wash it all down with a cherry coke and you will feel like a new man that has exorcised his first bad sexual experience. Like man, how bad could it have been? Like that was over 19 years ago!!! I didn't know the anus was a pore! Must look up my anatomy book. Geez, and I got 100 & in that subject. What a wonderful trip that pretzel must have had!!!!!!!!!!!!

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