This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2005-12-17 09:36:04 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Time I should stand and salute time
Time
We waste, drag it through
our pathetic little lives
Forgotten
Lost
Not Enough
Yet too much of on a rainy day
Spared
Counted
Scrutinized
Changed at will twice a year
without giving it proper warning
Hours to days to months
Only minutes away from death
seconds away to say and remind ourselves that
Life is too short of time |
|
Copyright © December 2005 DeniMari Z.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2006-01-06 09:27:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.37500
My type of poetry taking a moment of time and describing what it means. Time is precious and how do we spend it. I wrote a poem on this subject several years ago and I will share it with you for your have shown what time has meant to you:
Time
Precious for it is a gift.
How does one wrap it?
The only question.
Packaged to loosely
it soon unravels
Bounded to tightly
becomes limited and bruised
Properly tied
possibilities are endless
when unwrapped
life is explored
How quickly it passes…
Copyright © March 2001 Thomas H. Smihula
You have made me go back and see those areas that I overlooked in mine like the changing of time. Well done. Thanks for sharing.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-12-30 23:25:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.93939
DeniMari,
Wow, you've really hit the nail on the head so to speak. Exactly time, is too short when it comes to life and yet we ignore it and squander it. Nope, I wouldn't change your poem, like it the way it is...no suggestions here.
Best always,
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-12-24 17:43:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.77273
You are so right. Can;'t argue with your premise. But time is nothing without a watch or calendar or the stars. Time is just a word...Trouble is , most people project a future, but the future is now. Okay? I would change the title here and make it more intruiging. Personally I don't like using titles that are already in the poem.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-12-21 16:14:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
DeniMarie,
Right on. I think mostly we waste time.
We don't value it. Therefore we act like we have all the time in the world.
If we realized at birth we were given an hour glass of sand for all
the times of our life. and every moment dropped out leaving less
and less and we could watch it......we may feel differently!
Good thoughtful poem.
We are pathetic......
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2005-12-17 19:57:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Hi DeniMari,
This is cute but the line "Only minutes away from death" makes me feel sad. But this is a realization to all of us. Life is too short so we should live life to the fullest. How I wish we can live a thousand years! Thanks for making us realize the importance of time.
Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-12-17 11:28:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90909
Hi DeniMari,
Such a sad piece full of pathos and passion. The words choices, brief, but powerful. I have a feeling you may be writing this about your sister. I hope that is not the case but I fear it is. Your last line...
life is too short of time...is amazing...an unusual way to speak of how fast time passes us by...very poetic.
The enitre piece is well written but dolefully conceived...I'm putting it on my list. I have said prayers for your sister and for you, as well. I hope the Christmas season will give you and your family something to smile about.
God Bless...Marilyn
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