This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2005-12-18 01:07:01 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Invitation To Winter Winter you have tipped your dark hat
Towards the trees leaving
Black lace within my view
A triple shiver as I awake
First blush of morning
The coziness of my gown
Dulls my sensitivity to your sensation
And feels snug against your icy presence
Encircling the world around me
Winter you are biting yet enchanting
Stream of shorter days
Where daydreams have a place
To be invented making whims of my
Dreamers soul feel gracious
That your season is now not only dreary
But a spell cast for those who
Scheme to play in the wintry zone
Winter you calm me down in the evening
Allowing angels to hasten my slip into
Another place to dream again with
A feverish ward against anything as
Cold as you are or dark as your black lace
Guarded by the defender of my being
Throughout the eve then morning brews
Another tip of your serene hospitality
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Copyright © December 2005 DeniMari Z.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2006-01-06 08:03:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.37500
Your appreciation of a wintery day looking at the positive side of what it brings the writer. We can find warmth within when its cold outside, we can find that solitude can be a joy. So many things a wintery day and night can bring. The Hot spiced tea, hot chocolate, baking, and snuggling while watching TV. These are the things you remind me of with this piece. You also show me the playfulness outside and joy a snow can bring. I like this poem because you make this reader think upon the joy of a wintery day. I like your three stanza approach each with it own positive thought. Well done and a joy to read. Thanks for sharing.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Debbie Spicer On Date: 2005-12-29 09:47:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi DeniMari,
Some dread the thought of winter coming once again, but this poem gives a new element of wonder to how we can observe it.
I love the utilization of “black lace within my view.” I sit here at the ocean and it does appear as “black lace”, enchanting, with slight visibility at the early morning view. As well, as I arise to meet the cool air, the clothing I have on does limit my bare skin from warmth meeting the fresh coolness of the morning. (love “dulls my sensitivity to your sensation”. What a wonderful play on words.)
I had never truly looked at winter as enchanting but as I read this, I remember all the times I awoke as a small girl and stared out the window and all the snow, the amazing snowflakes falling, and the peacefulness of quiet. (Must have been on some of my “reflective times”.) Daydreams fill my soul and the spell has been cast. You give such reverence for this season that it give a new meaning to this time.
Thank you for sharing your amazing words and thoughts in order to re-refresh my mind as to why we have the different seasons of the year, and we can admire each for their own exquisiteness. Very well written and it touched my heart.
Hugs,
Debbie
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-12-24 14:58:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi,
[trees leaving Black lace within my view]
Your font is lacy like the trees limbs leafless.
It's pretty but a bit difficult with 's'.
I never thought of winter as serene hospitality but maybe so.
A warm fire, friends gathered.
Time to think/dream and go within!
Maybe a time to reinvent yourself.
Gain a new perspective against the darkness.
Your poem leaves room to imagine anything.....
I like it.
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-12-20 18:04:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
DeniMari,
Very interesting, wonderfully discriptive verbiage, and for the most part flows well.
Winter you have tipped your dark hat
Towards the trees leaving
Black lace within my view
A triple shiver as I awake [loose the "A"]
First blush of morning
The coziness of my gown
Dulls my sensitivity to your sensation
And feels snug against your icy presence [loose the "and"]
Encircling the world around me
IMO those two changes would make your poem a bit tighter and more in keeping with the style of your write
Winter you are biting yet enchanting [biting, enchanting]
Stream of shorter days
Where daydreams have a place
To be invented making whims of my
Dreamers soul feel gracious
That your season is now not only dreary [drop "that"] makes it a bit clearer]
But a spell cast for those who
Scheme to play in the wintry zone
Winter[,] you calm me down in the evening
Allowing angels to hasten my slip into
Another place[,] to dream again with
A feverish ward against anything as [again loose the "A"] creates more emphasis]
Cold as you are or dark as your black lace
Guarded by the defender of my being
Throughout the eve[,] then morning brews
Another tip of your serene hospitality
This poem is simply delicious, vibrant and alive. The few suggestions I made are only suggestions that would aid in a smoother read IMHO, however I have to tell you I really like the flavor of this since I enjoy the earths chances and the feelings they lend to us. Brava, very nice.
Warmest always,
Lora
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