This Poem was Submitted By: Brandon Gene Petit On Date: 2006-01-21 10:12:30 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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The Early Hours Dawn unfolds on a town's older region
Sunrise crawls across cobblestone streets
Autumn break speaks its opening words
An urban dream world prepares to awake
I walk these archaic avenues alone
Following the lead of my oversized shadow
Astringent cold awakens my face
While a glinting sun slowly heats my back
Past gothic fencing and cream-colored brick
Concrete bridges veined with vines
Damp shades of wood stare from the park
A fountain shines at the heart of the square
The muffled click of claws against curb
From blackbirds prodding the lower scenery
Shares the air with benevolent fumes
Of bakery bread and chimney smoke
Porch lights fading in soft succession
The radius of light extends its reach
Reflections expanding in dark shop windows
The first opened door soon taints the silence
In time the usual routines exude
An old piece of map slowly stirs to life
Another new chapter from torn, yellowed pages
Is resurrected into tangible shapes |
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Copyright © January 2006 Brandon Gene Petit
Additional Notes:
Appears in Brandon Petit's new poetry collection "Intrinsic Desires" (available at Authorhouse.com)
ISBN: 1420891995
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2006-02-02 14:57:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60000
Brandon
I have to say thank you for persevering with me. It might be easy to think that I'm just hypercritical, when I think (correct me if I'm wrong) that you want what I want: poems that will be read while we're pushing up daisies.
I do like your imagery here. You have a deft touch, and are always lyrical.
Here especially.
Regards,
Mark.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2006-01-23 06:47:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.31579
Brandon I wish I had read this one first of yours for you do have freeform and the depth is definately there. Wonderful selection of words and structure along with scene of the surroundings. Yes life has it map and the direction we choose determines who we are. This is one I really get into. Excellent job.
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2006-01-22 10:24:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
A poem whose scope is simplistically held
within the sensory confines of poet reacting
in a kind of reverie with familiar environ
enhanced by "new day" progress of morning.
That is, until, "The first opened door soon
taints the silence" and we are brought back
from this sensory reverie to the "usual
routines" and our "new chapter from torn,
yellowed pages/Is resurrected into tangible
shapes."
The imagery is light and appropriate to the
poem's tone, "Sunrise crawls across cobblestone
streets", "Following the lead of my oversized
shadow", "A fountain shines at the heart of the
square", "Shares the air with benevolent fumes"...
all offering just the touch, without any otherwise
detraction from the insensate blending created.
A well done accomplishment of craft holding form
well to stanzaic structure solely with poetic
language and not suffering at all, the cumbersome
confinement of rhyme. Obviously, you are accomplished.
JCH
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