This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2006-01-23 11:44:07 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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I Know You

You're peeking around, traipsing on tiptoe     Maybe even stalking a little, hanging on       Expectation, hoping not to plummet  Through some hole in the floor harshness    Could make, chiseling at tender dreams       Curdling blood of young children         You've breathed more than life into, Meaning, even.  It doesn't matter about the wrapping, we're all    Friends here,...kinda, sorta, most of the time.      Pensive at that plushness of promise Placed before us, some kind of loving thing    You've brought us to banquet on. It's not too much, your eyes tell, to give    Mindful allotting you've grown into pants       A little weary of your waist before.  I know you, you want knowing love, grasping    At the words to say it, like Tarzan, at swinging      Vines. Assured you're insulated from the obviousness Of it. Undenounced by those caught up in a lie they're     Not so similar. But they are. Preciously, are.   Does your sweet gift hold new wonder, newness     Wonderfully? Has it new captives to acclaim To place so gingerly upon altars of offering?    Intensely bestowed just by placement? The threat of frowns drawn together so risked    But so little heeded when the courage of a moment Could have other worlds, other things to look behind? And just to know this, you are a poet.

Copyright © January 2006 James C. Horak

Additional Notes:
I guess you like this a little better, MAH?


This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2006-02-07 06:39:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.57143
Offerings from the pen. I like the wording overall yet definately the presentation made it difficult at least for this reader. I felt that it would have been better in a more structured format but of course that is only my opinion. My favorite lines are gingerly upon altars of offering, little heeded wien the courage of a moment, Pensive at that plushness of promise. The line most difficult in relating to the rest of the poem was about the waistline...lol Maybe it is a problem for me...lol. Thanks for sharing.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Gerard Andrew Geiger On Date: 2006-01-28 21:30:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Dear James: You are preaching to the choir with this one. Sure, we all feel this way if we care to be honest.... and dishonest poetry could be a poetry of technical devices....but lacking in passion... something the pedants love to deride with their penchant for meters and rhyme schemes and allusions to other poetical works....when all that's really necessary is the blatant human soul crying its message loud and clear....baring its honest soul to the voyeurs who masquerade as literature critics. especially liked..."courage of the moment could have other worlds, other things to look behind. Thanks for this inner look at the psyche of all who dare to express themselves through the public forum and whipping post of sharing poetry.
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2006-01-25 14:46:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.55556
MAH on a swinging vine? G-forbid~! Anyway, Quite elegant, but too wordy for my liking...but that's me. Undenounced by those caught up in a lie they're Not so similar. But they are. Preciously, are. We must let "them" have their little lie (s). It will soon catch up to them. But here, you are pronouncing that it is the truth. But whose truth? And then...the title...Do you really know him? I was once married to a woman for 14 years until she turned tail on me...who knew?...Not me that's for sure. So, according to moi, the premise is not truthful! Cheers..and shalom.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2006-01-25 11:00:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.42857
JCH I now fear what I stick my nose into. It could be someone's arsehole. This, thankfully, is a poem. So I feel comparatively safe. Remember that I am thinking out loud, here. Ok, so why might MAH like this better? Is it a structural thing, or a matter of diction, or the sense of a feather swept across a sphincter? No, I think it is a sense of familiarity with journey, ambition and, yes, courage. 'Stalk' in one of its more pejorative Australian usages is 'an erect penis'. One does indeed require courage to go 'stalking' in public. But hey, that's manhood for you. MAH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Brandon Gene Petit On Date: 2006-01-24 10:10:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60000
I enjoyed this piece overall but I do have some mixed feelings about it...what I see here is a blend of your usual expert verbal craftsmanship and some relatively awkward lines that don't quite seem to fit. Some great lines that live up to what I've come to expect of you include: "chiseling at tender dreams" "plushness of promise" "curdling blood of children" "brought us to banquet on' "It's not too much, your eyes tell, to give" "insulated from the obvious" "the threat of frowns drawn together...." pure genius! But, for example, the Tarzan reference is a bit much. Just my opinion. Other than that it reeks of expertise! P.S. You should put together a collection of your poetry
This Poem was Critiqued By: Brandon Gene Petit On Date: 2006-01-24 10:10:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60000
I enjoyed this piece overall but I do have some mixed feelings about it...what I see here is a blend of your usual expert verbal craftsmanship and some relatively awkward lines that don't quite seem to fit. Some great lines that live up to what I've come to expect of you include: "chiseling at tender dreams" "plushness of promise" "curdling blood of children" "brought us to banquet on' "It's not too much, your eyes tell, to give" "insulated from the obvious" "the threat of frowns drawn together...." pure genius! But, for example, the Tarzan reference is a bit much. Just my opinion. Other than that it reeks of expertise! P.S. You should put together a collection of your poetry
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