This Poem was Submitted By: Theresa H Johnson On Date: 2006-02-06 03:25:01 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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If I Could Tell Him the Truth

I see him … dangling from the precarious heights of the building’s edge 22 stories in the sky. It’s familiar to him. Yet today, he hangs on  as a stranger. If he could hear me from the ground below, I’d tell him that once he’d tasted the goodness of God – I mean, really tasted it ... It would be hard for him to go back to the brick and mortar glass pains and silicon from times past. I’d tell him that returning to the tenants of this old building, fused with old beliefs and  a warped outlook on life that would continue to block his mind from the truth ... that Jesus Christ is the only way to Heaven. I see him! And from where I stand  I can see through the lightly tinted windows and watch people go about their daily business - taking smoke breaks, rushing for the fax machine gathering around the lunch table staring in a distressed way at computer screens and sighing ... Moving in and out of a reality they are not aware of. But, right now, Neither is he. If he knew the truth! If he believed the truth ... He wouldn’t be dangling there now. Precariously. Waiting to see in the wind of God would break his fall or if the fire of an unknown force would transform him into light or if the hand of  the sun,  the moon  the stars ... Would take him into another world where his inner strength and consciousness would guide him into all truth and understanding ... perhaps he'd understand that this moment is the difference between life and death. perhaps he'd understand that choice to live can't be made by any god. If he could hear me from where I stand ... I’d tell him the truth.

Copyright © February 2006 Theresa H Johnson

Additional Notes:
This poem was written based on a writers prompt in an online group. I've since editing and reworked certain areas. Otherwise it hasn't been published.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2006-03-07 12:11:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Theresa, this is a stirring piece. I am not sure how I would have approached the theme, but I found the testimony to be a passionate look at life and deity. Although I know both the desire, and the remorse, the life and the deity, I am not normally drawn to a piece which speaks to all of them because one or the other is normally lost in the exchange. You managed to include the preciousness of this life/living, and also perspective of God in dealing with the mannerisms, liked or disliked, when viewed by those of us who live here. Although there is suicide in the wind, this was more a testimony of the loss, as much as it is the response from God of the value. Excellent, well rounded piece. As for style, it meets your needs, and made clear the composite of your message.

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2006-03-05 13:31:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88889
It bodes well for me. An enduring tale. You do not tell us if this person was someone you knew or if he jumped. And then there is the truth...something of which I have written a lot about. What is truth and in whose eyes? The interpretation of truth can only be garnered from one person...ones self. glass pains ...should this be "panes"? I do not believe in your religious philosophy but so be it. At least we can live here in relative peace. I wonder if it should be left out of this otherwise interesting piece for I do not see any purpose in it being there. Just my take on it.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Terry A On Date: 2006-02-28 16:49:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Theresa, There is much to remark on this poem. And your spiritual understanding of what might matter, is broader then your one line, "that Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven". There are many people who disappear...sometimes I wonder if some of these people, instead of suicide, simply walk out of their lives, leaving all the structure and form behind, and begin again; as though reborn to every possibility they thought might ever exist for them. You offer the suicidal, your view of the difference between god and God, a subtlety you've done especially well in this poem; and present your truth as an alternative, a hope. Especially lovely is your musing upon his thoughts, "the wind of God would break his fall", thus you give us a character easily as spiritual as yourself. Sometimes, its almost as though ALL of our moments choose between life and death; as though life has to be given purpose. With that, perhaps the differences are not so stark. There is everything of the poetic about your poem and that is not so easily accomplished, when strong religious tones are present. Hope to see more of your poetry. Terry
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2006-02-16 10:06:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Theresa, I must start by saying that I am not religious. Though I have belief in God, I observe no conventional path of faith to Him. Suffice it to say, I'm a self-acknowledged agnostic. That does not mean, however, I don't respect the faith of others and that I don't appreciate their sincerity when I see it expressed. You poem is that of the faithful concerned about the plight of one you view on the verge of being lost to an irredeemable act of suicide. I may not share that view, but I am impressed with the purity of concern your poem delivers. Your imagery in, "brick and mortar/glass pains (panes)and silicon from/times past (passed) and, "in (if) the wind of God would break his fall", transcends your frame of reference to the human concerns attendant upon all mankind by those of conscience. This, and other elements in your poem set it apart from evangelical attempts at conversion and permit broader context than condemnation alone allow. Coming to your highly interesting line, "perhaps he'd understand that choice to live/can't be made by any god.", your allowance to respect free will brings your poem much closer to being, "a message to the world". Thus giving dimension to the "truth" you would share with this poor soul. I appreciate your frame of reference and I am impressed with how you have personally refined your Christian belief to a purity as far from self-righteousness as I think one can become. In my book, that IS Christianity. Your poem has a warmth and concern that reflects this. JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2006-02-07 08:49:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Thank you for sharing your poem with us. I see this is your first at this site. I like the story and thought presented yet the layout and length seemed to distract this reader. The builder of a structure is what I see with little thought as to the strength of faith that is needed to enhance ones life. If only he could see what you see for you have said it well. Thanks for sharing maybe consider making it a little shorter and consistent stanza's in your presentation. Just a thought. Welcome.
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