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This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2006-02-24 06:20:07 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Daisies

I grow them in my soul here, you watch me: I throw them to the ocean, and you're at sea. You catch them- I know you do- you hold them, you turn them now to the light, then upside down, back to front, as if you thought you might see some hidden things, messages for you alone. But, you see, that’s what they are, every bloom. Please don't pull these petals off: this is the one you’ve waited for, here at last. And it’s not He Loves Me Not. What is it? Well, now you know. Now you know. And now you know who I grow my daisies for.

Additional Notes:
For the love of my life, my wife, Diane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2006-03-07 09:56:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.28571
I know you shared this with her for this is truly the heart speaking. Bringing in the childhood thought of does he or doesn't he was well presented for there is no question that you do. A very enjoyable poem. Thanks for sharing one of your deepest feelings for someone else.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-03-04 19:03:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mark, I hope your finding your way back to where the daises grow! Loving is all that ever matters...... Lovely to read, joyful to enjoy. Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2006-02-26 15:04:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
MAH, I've seen this before, as you know. I loved it then, and love it now. You're right, we know each other well enough - we don't need to dissect each other's work. Just tell each other we're on the right track or about to go off a cliff. This one's pulling into a lovely seaside village. I'd cancel all other plans for the next couple of weeks and stay awhile. MSS

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-02-25 19:44:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mark, I'm just going to cut to the chase, no BS. Daisies (an inviting title) I grow them in my soul here, (this is a great line, my favorite, I might borrow it sometime) you watch me: I throw them to the ocean, and you're at sea. (for me this is the yeng and the yang, like opposites attracting as they do) you hold them, you turn them now to the light, then upside down, back to front, as if you thought you might see some hidden things, messages for you alone. (here to me you’ve captured the inner spirit of woman with your “you might see some hidden things, messages, for you alone” this to me is unique in writing from the male aspect. And it’s not He Loves Me Not. What is it? ( I like how you confirm that they are hidden messages, that you wished them not squandered by renting the petals, and then your affirmation or should I say your proclamation of love ) who I grow my daisies for. ( I like the idea you are putting forth in this last stanza but for me it did not flow as well as the whole of your poem. It is a fitting closure however my nit is with “now you know” stated trice, just me I suppose but possibly a little reworking would make the wording less redundant and more pronounced or exclamatory.) Best always, Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2006-02-24 09:22:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I think, more than anything else, this poem is commentary on you, as both poet and person. It's significance to me is that it examples nothing else by you I've read. That alone is the "kneeling down to earth" I used not too long ago in a poem I submitted here. A poem whose meanings were a little too lightly tapped. I will see that yours here are not. Diane should be assured of your love, if not by your day-to- day affections and mannerisms, then most certainly by the expression of that love, so wholly out of character and style with the intellectualizing and wonderous exploration of your other work I have read. Here you "decline" to a grace and poise so many of the very best of poets have not, poets unable to free themselves from the shackles of their own making...to express uniquely to that which IS of highest priority. Like someone elegant in debate, dropping to a whisper to be heard better. A daisy is good choice, refraining from plucking it petals such a wonderful excursion beyond the expected. Again you resort to the unique in order to better convey, to (pardon the expression) sublimate your love. You would not even allow the question, possessing the flower en tota, making your own standard for its metaphor. Not picked, plucked, but grown "for" the examination much closer of the thing we would so often bring to embrace less caringly. Again, an incredible extension beyond the mundane. "I throw them to the ocean and you're at sea", a line of the most elegant simplicity and one in which your poem nestles close to for its continued imagery of delicate regard. This is so much more than a romantic love poem. JCH

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