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Stay I can avoid your call, but only for so long: not my flesh but, ah! my spirit, weak with a tenderness that I had more than once declined to give my life’s ambit to. There’s that grain of sand, and there’s that hour, uncanny, mirrored in the form of you: and you, form of elemental power to make the eons but a second ... two, should my luck hold. Your mirror, steely twig, shook, but held everything I am. We’ve neither eyes enough, nor those eyes big enough for such disseminated flame: when I’m beyond us both, and flooding us with rain, then, always, will I pray: you’ll stay my course, again. |
Additional Notes:
Readers of "Daisies" will know who this is for.
Inspired, oddly enough, by Brian Ferry's rendition of Billy Waggerdagger's Sonnet 18.
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2006-03-07 12:56:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
You portray well the bittersweet aspect of marriage/love.
A confinement always tested by the loss of freedom it
engenders versus its offerings of sweetness not always
more than transient.
And so we sublimate...yours intellectually, spiritually.
Something we did not always have to do to hold together
home and hearth, for the benefit of children, children
who should always represent ultimate priority and so
seldom do, anymore.
And so we sublimate...yours so more aspiringly than that
of others, doing so much more than simply to pray.
I hope the lady is remarkable and so much more constant
for it. And sees such pleas as unnecessary.
But the times do not progress such virtue well.
And I should not gauge your experiences against mine.
The children, however, are worth sacrifices easy to
yield. That should always carry the day...perhaps
that should have something to do with what you say.
JCH