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This Poem was Submitted By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2006-03-09 14:10:45 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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COFFEE CUPS

Such long hours spent over coffee in sips of conversation some sweet, others bitter. Emotions, thoughts, feelings whirling, swirling from the bottom thick and rich and real like the cream that laid heavy in our cups. It is a bitter drink to think of where we were then and where I sit today alone and staring in this empty cup void of coffee; void of you but oh! still the thought of you I find so... thirst quenching.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2006-04-06 20:49:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76190
Nancy the taste is so fulfilling. That is what you showed this reader. Sharing time and emotions will almost always be retained within one’s memory. Like the thought and presentation. Well done. By the way I will attempt some Haiku this month for the first time. Thanks again. Thomas.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2006-04-03 20:35:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Nancy, so many thought flew through my mind. Indeed you description of coffee, the familiar and the bitter is an accurate metaphor for memories and past living. But mostly you left us, in the end, with the power of sweet recollection, even when there is a void of sharing the beverage... wanting. Powerful you use emotions/thoughts/feelings and descriptions whirling/swirling to capture the rich and cream – yet leave us with the dual meanings in “heavy”. Thank you for sharing that cup of coffee with us. Sitting with you, and dreaming of another time, another love, we find the strength of the aroma, fitting the need to be sated. A wonderful “homeopathic” piece, that I think I needed to read.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mary J Coffman On Date: 2006-04-01 08:38:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Nancy, The title drew me in immediately! It made me wonder right away if you were really going to write about a couple of cups! LOL! Silly me... I especially like how you use the metaphors in this: Such long hours spent over coffee in sips of conversation some sweet, others bitter. ..."sips of conversation", all thoses little gossip tidbits... Perfect! Emotions, thoughts, feelings whirling, swirling from the bottom thick and rich and real like the cream that laid heavy in our cups. ...I LOVE how you say this! My favorite part! It is a bitter drink to think of where we were then and where I sit today alone and staring in this empty cup void of coffee; void of you ...up to here, Stanza 2 has a melancholy feel, or sadness to it, then... but oh! still the thought of you I find so... thirst quenching. ...what a hard yank back to a plesant memory - In the fist lines, the use of the word "sips" well illustrates the short "did you hear..." water cooler talk you so often hear. The juicy little tidbits of gossip that sometimes fill the idle gaps in our days. I adore this metaphor. It's absolutely perfect! In this stanza you give us such vivid imagery, as well. I could actually picture the crowd around the water cooler, and the steam rising from that cup of coffee I just stirred cream into. But, my favorite in this poem have to be the next few lines. Awesome. The comparison of the 'whirlpool' (a very overused metaphor) of feelings and emotions, expressed in a very unique and refreshing way. One which is surely familiar to many of us. I can certainly relate! :-) Kudos! The second stanza gives us 'feeling.' Lots of it! The word 'bitter' starts us on that spiral down into the sad undertones...that melancholy feel. The emptiness one feels, the lonliness... A 'void' left after losing someone special in our lives. And, just when we're sighing in contemplation - Wham! You yank us back into a plesant, and even a little sensual, memory. You left us basking in "that" moment, instead! Yes!! Well Done, my friend. I read this one several times! Thanks for sharing, I look forward to more from you :) Brava! Always, Mary

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2006-03-15 13:14:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Ah yes, old memories of old flames can be so thirst quenching, but all that changed when I got married. So my answer to you then is (if your're not already),,,,get married! Putting together the bitterness of relationships and then stir in the coffee is a very good analogy...though it can be bitter or sweet! Good title. Poem short and sweet~!

This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2006-03-09 15:27:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
The coffee cup is today's euphemism for what develops around its routine, like a star around which planets play. You find so many interesting parallels with the day to day life and that routine, borne out well by your imagery and the provocation to memory it comes to rest upon, that, delightfully sensual. "Void of coffee; void of you" develops the final focus well, and the final lift is as expectant as the caffein just taken. An enjoyable poem. JCH

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-03-09 15:23:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Nancy Anne, Your title drew me in, I'm an avid coffe drinker......*smile*. Your words moved me through your poem without a hitch, well metered and the simple language presented a rich picture, yes-- we do seem to have much going on over cups of coffee. I particularly like your twist in the end of this delightful "coffee break" for even when the cup is empty, sometimes bitterly so, staring in can revive great memories. I can not find one thing about this that I would change lest it me "written by me".....LOL. Best always, Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-03-09 15:09:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Nancy, Neat, a love poem over coffee. And no cigarettes! It was interesting how everything brings to mind someone you love and miss. Bitter drink to think is good...... The cream, swirling, the empty cup! Good visuals. Nice job Nancy, full up with emotions. Dellena

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