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This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-04-08 14:10:13 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Tattered Memories

In a corner of my closet on a shelf in the back I found an old shoe box upon a rack. I emptied it in a pile on the chair and touched each treasure with care. There were two dried rose petals One necklace with shinning crystals Two white hankies trimmed in lace One key that would open someplace Your old class ring and a lock of hair One crumpled paper from a chocolate square And a frayed Valentine, faded with age You had written “I love you” on the page Smiling, I whispered “I love you too.” Tattered memories of you like trinkets on a shelf in a life long since gone. Carefully I returned them to their resting place, to keep them safe, lest I forget your face.

Additional Notes:
Written sometime ago

This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2006-05-02 17:49:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80952
oh this brought a tear to my eye..so real! so easily related to! I love the well placed rhyme in this poem, it seems to give it a "sigh" when you read it, that is simply terrific. I saw your images so well, and felt the feelings as well. Wonderful written atmosphere, so meloncoly and also musical. One of my favorite lines is "One crumpled paper from a chocolate square" well constructed line and so visual. and your last stanza just finished this off exactly.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2006-04-25 08:58:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn, This is making me weep like a baby. I can't help it! You sure know how to touch our hearts! This must have been a very painful piece to write , yet I do see so much love and hope within these lines. Those tattered memories seem to be very well intact, actually. Best, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2006-04-12 12:51:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn yes I can see the feelings within each trinket, reminders of the past. I like when someone shares that which makes them tick. You have ended this very nice with a stanza with much impact and rhyme. The face will never be forgotten. Glad you brought this one out important reminders to oneself. Thanks for sharing. Thomas.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2006-04-11 05:10:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Memories, the most powerful and longed for days of long ago which are brougth forth due to the memories we hold dear to us.....whether tucked in the lining of our heart, the little box in the closet, the images we created with our minds, all take us to the place we miss most, time spent with our loved ones......a very nice read poet, as always you have created a wonderful place to go, to share with us.....It is nice to know that one is never from our hearts when we have our memories to keep us together. Thanks for posting, sharing, for being you. God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2006-04-09 22:24:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Marilyn, missed all of you here in TLP! this one is very inspiring! I love every idea you put in here. So much more with the "I love you" and "I love you too". I hope I can have more time to get in touch with you here at TLP, take care!!

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2006-04-09 14:45:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 7.00000
I am sure you haven't forgotten his face. A tender moment you shared with us all. Sometimes besides memories of our mind we do have those trinkets to hold and to fondle and remember the energy it gives us. Thanks for letting me into your life.

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2006-04-09 09:30:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dear Marilyn, My first thought reading this was, "It is better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all." This is so heartfelt, full of emotion, and touches my heart with sadness especially where you say, "lest I forget your face." Memories of something very special, are conveyed here to the reader, with images of what you have saved. Each one a treasure, choosing the word treasure works well, in this. To look at them, is to see a time, they held a special meaning in your life. Even though this piece is sad, it is special in the way you make the reader "feel", your loss with you. God Bless You, Denimari

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-04-08 15:38:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Marilyn, So very powerful. It is odd the things we will put away and keep, treasures only in our minds and to us, little secret thoughts they carry with them. Yes, I have a box where I also have stored the oddist of things but yet they are memories that are cherished and as you have said--for the briefest of moments you can be transported back to another time and place, refreshes that image of your loved one's face. Unusual form however most agreeable for this reader. You've deftly shared emotions with your discriptors and perhaps you'll print this little poem out and place it also in the box. Well done-brava! Warmest always, Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-04-08 14:57:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Marilyn, Quite nice! Love the ending. Life goes by so fast, it appears dreamlike at times. It's good we have the memories in our mind that don't get lost, misplaced, old.... And sometimes yesterday seems long ago! It seems our moments happening should have more appreciation! Love this! And the face does get blurry it seems, and him you want never to forget, one thing! I understand and applaud this poem. dellena

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