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Soul in Need Help! I’ve slipped within a time crevasse Slipping, reaching, for someone’s unconditional grasp Help! I’m sinking suffocating fear Sinking, drifting, Can anybody hear Understanding, can anyone hear this voice Yearning, a path without a given choice Alone, In thought now a living death Alive, without a single breath … So empty here, so dark the fear … |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2006-05-04 10:28:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Tom,
This has a very real feel and for good cause.
There are many who feel this way and thank heaven there
is help for them.
Your rhyming softens it up a little but it is still very effective.
The ending is also effective. Flows great and I like the way you laid
the piece out as well.
I can recognize the way the narrator feels as I have been there and
a helping hand did reach my grasp and pull me from the depths.
Thanks for the reminder!
This is one of my fav of yours.
Best,
Jen