This Poem was Submitted By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2006-04-17 07:52:39 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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The Pouch
Exquisite jewels:
Sapphire enriched with the blue
clear and beautiful summer sky
that charms the inner most feelings
Ruby with a smile of love
emanates warmth and pleasure for the viewing
a gift, rewarding the soul
Emerald transmitting shades of green
holy as seen by ancient civilizations
a rare find for the viewer
Diamond of color
changing brilliance
through the circle of life
Sapphire calls here I am Papa
Ruby giggles with delight
Emerald enlightens within
Diamond casts a glow
Sapphire a daughter of a daughter
Ruby a daughter of another daughter
Emerald a daughter of the first daughter
Diamond the son of a son
What rewards
What gifts
Precious
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Copyright © April 2006 Thomas H. Smihula
Additional Notes:
A feeling of wealth within this Easter Sunday, while enjoying grandchildren...
This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2006-05-03 04:35:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.81818
This is just lovely..I wrote a poem myself comparing jemstones with the people of this Earth so I relate and enjoyed this piece so much. I love the way you summed up all your earlier verses and the way you use personification as well. Nicely done, and your concluding verse is perfect to finish this off. thanks for sharing. Nancy
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2006-04-23 23:28:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Tom,
I just enjoyed this wealthy piece of yours. If I were in your place having these grandchildren around, I feel the same joyous moments and I would have filled my pouch with all the gems to carry home. The use of these gemstones to describe the feeling is effective. Nothing to say more, I just experienced the lip-smacking dispersion. And how I wish I could physically experience this when I'm grown to be a Papa someday.
Thank you for sharing this with us,
Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-04-19 14:32:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.62500
Hi Thomas.....I love this innovative poem. Comparing your grandchildren to gems is so endearing and I can fully understand as my grandchildren are as precious to me as any gem that could be found. You use wonderful words to showcase this piece and it is if full of emotion and love for your family. Your last lines....what rewards..what gifts...precious...is lovely. I hope you save this poem to give to them when the time is appropiate. Well done.
Peace...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2006-04-17 09:59:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Thomas,
Your poem is rich, with love. I can relate to grandchildren, although mine are far away from me, so I make do with phone calls.
How nice of you, to take time, and write of the cherished feelings you have for your family. That certainly is wealth, and I like how you compare them to jewells. It's a nice touch. The blend of mixing the colors, with the emotions felt is another nice touch. Your title Pouch, does fit, many jewells are encased this way.
Your poem is full of love, and pride, dedication to family and enjoyment of being the grandfather of the this one.
Good write, sentimental and fun.
Sincerely,
Denimari
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-04-17 09:38:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Thomas,
Right away I gathered that the pouch was the keeper of your most precious gems, and I was not disappointed. My favorite part was
Sapphire a daughter of a daughter
Ruby a daughter of another daughter
Emerald a daughter of the first daughter
Diamond the son of a son
Perhaps because it is what enlightens the reader to what you speak or because of the biblical feel of it, never the less I liked it and your closing.
Very well thought out and metaphorically well done, yes, our families/children/grand children are our most precious gems.
Best always,
Lora
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