This Poem was Submitted By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2006-05-10 19:43:38 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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For The Love Of Aphrodite
Beware young man
Of the lore of the sea
She's a green eyed monster
Who'll enchant and trick thee
In a torrid dance
On the top of her waves
You'll be tossed and your soul
Will be lost to her ways.
Take heed young man
Tis’your soul that she seeks
She will toss you and turn you
Till your passion she peaks
Then she'll leave you so thirsty
In her salt water sprays
For your thirst won't be quenched
In the swells of her waves
Don't listen young man
When the sea calls your name
She's a violent lover
Who can bring you much pain
Deceiving and cunning
She will lure you away
From the arms of your loved ones
She will lead you astray
Think hard young man
If you leave love behind
For the arms of this mistress
Won't be half as kind
Seduced and forgotten
In her turbulent tide
As insatiable lovers
You will endlessly ride.
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Copyright © May 2006 Nancy Ann Hemsworth
Additional Notes:
I am from the Canadian maritime province of New Brunswick, and have been influenced by the music and the heritage of my fellow harbor folks.LOL. This is a poem/song lyric , one or the other I have not decided which it should be.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2006-06-06 10:52:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Nancy ,
I vote song.
Very nice rhythm going in this one that will make it
a good candidate for a song.
Nice title too.
Sorry I have waited so long to make a comment.
Life has been busy this month but I did want you
to know I enjoyed this piece.
Best,
Jennifer
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2006-05-31 12:32:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88889
Greetings from Vancouver Island which is certainly a maritime province. I love the folk/celtic music that comes out of your area, which is certainly not heard here (the music roots and style that is). The Barra Mcneils come to mind; Ann Murray, etc. I do not know of any such proclivity around here. Anyway, the lines have a very nice lilt to it. Very musical and I think you should put it to music. Who wrote "Home is the hunter down from the hills and the sailor home from the seas?" As an aside, did you know that the majority of Canadian sailors in WW2 were from the prairies? So was it Aphrodities fault there?
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-05-14 08:45:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Nancy...this is a fine poem and one that could easily be set to music. Your words are all well chosen and the rhyme is musical and infectious. The subject you have chosen is wonderful and the way in which you structured it is perfect. Delicious and a pleasure to read. I like the way you have written this poem...warning this man of Aphrodite's tricks and cunning ways...it is both provacative and clever. It would make a great song but it is a fablous poem. Let us know if you set it to music. Well done.
Blessings...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2006-05-13 17:37:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.37500
Hi Nancy,
I just critiqued your "Musical Reeds" and it was a treat for me as this is! Oh, interesting that this one is a song lyric! I am wondering what music I can hear on this one. Anyway, your title is so captivating to both sexes. I for one would want to know how this Aphrodite came into being in your poem and how she makes a story to men. And I was afraid to take note of the imperatives, "Beware" "Take heed" "Don't listen" "Think hard" - I should be cautious myself then. Well, I am already married to an "Aphrodite" although still a young man (26) and can be lured by any Aphrodite. No no no! I got your cautions already! <smile> This piece is artically written. You have a lot of imageries and personifications and metaphors and the like. I simply enjoy this! More of it,,,please!
Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2006-05-11 19:00:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dear Nancy Ann,
What an entertaining read, full of great rhymes, smooth imagery and the story told of the seduction of the sea.
I really enjoyed this, to the max.
Each verse, put together the way you have, makes a great story. It feels, like a poem, that could be read over and over again, and enjoyed by all ages - from kids to adults.
I really can't say much else, except, how much of an impact it had on me as the reader.
Good luck with this one, my best,
Denimari
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